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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you really want us to leave...

219 replies

guest2013 · 21/01/2017 10:53

I'm European.
Last night I stupidly allowed myself to rise to someone telling me to go back to where I came from.. it ended up with about 6 people arguing with me and they were adamant that foreigners are to blame for the country's problems.
It's absolutely shook me to my core.. I feel very strange today, I've never, in my 8 years here had any negative comments. Lucky I suppose.
Are people who think this way unreasonable? Are there any exceptions where immigrants are a negative thing?
Do any of you think this way?
I'm not looking to carry on arguing but this is a safe way to discuss and I would respect your opinion.
Thanks

OP posts:
noramum · 21/01/2017 11:30

I am German, living here now for 17 years.

Tuesday was the first time that I actually googled how to enrol my 9 year old daughter in an international school back in Germany and if I can work in my current profession.

Thanks to Mrs May I now think I have two choices, going back to a country I don't know anymore or take on the British citizenship. I feel waiting for the government to come to a conclusion how to deal with us 3 Mio Europeans will be leaving me with too many insecurities. If and when she triggers Art 50 it will be just 2 years and then I am a immigrant with no rights. Even the residency will not give me any more right as it is based on the EU membership. And sorry, but I can't see that the other EU members will just happily allow the immigrated Brits to live there with no chances either.

I love this country, love my friends, my life here. But the leavers with their decision last June may force my hand now.

GinIsIn · 21/01/2017 11:34

Rainmaker - "nothing personal"? Sounds a lot like "only obeying orders" and "for the greater good". I'm sure we've heard that somewhere before. In Germany. Hmm

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 21/01/2017 11:34

If every immigrant in this country stopped what they were doing every day, we'd be fucked. I've never wanted immigrants to leave, it's a racist/xenophobic attitude that is perpetuated by people who are hateful and know nothing about why this country is really in the state it's in. Successive Tory governments up until the late 90s crippled the economy in Britain, not immigrants moving here and making lives for themselves and their families. Personally I think that a diverse society is a good thing, because it means that the inward thinking racists/xenophobes aren't in the majority.

RachelRagged · 21/01/2017 11:36

Sorry you went through that OP

Some people are like that, Brexit or not, in my opinion.

A immigrant doctor saved my mothers life many years ago , she was Iranian. A immigrant doctor saved my life, he spotted something that turned out to be cancer . I am ok but had that op just in the nick of time.

Flowers for you OP

Carollocking · 21/01/2017 11:37

Without the people from outside of the uk we'd be struggling as so many of our own lame brains just will not work.
I think they should rename the job centre the "can't be bothered and won't work centre".
my own experiences are most that come to uk want to work and will do any work without you all we'd be so much worse off.so ignore them and just know your a wonderful help to your chosen country and enjoy yourself.
I know the tiny percentage that don't work is nothing to the percentage of our own that don't work so if that was one there arguments there totally wrong.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 21/01/2017 11:38

Just for the record I voted to Remain, if that's relevant. However, I don't think that all the Leave voters are represented by the hateful things that were said to you, it's just unfortunate that Farage et al have been given a voice by this car crash of a referendum.

JamieLannistersFuckButler · 21/01/2017 11:38

I don't want you to leave.

GriefLeavesItsMark · 21/01/2017 11:38

I came on to post precisely what Charleston just posted. Who precisely do you think is going to provide care for the aging population? Including the influx of expat pensioners who return when they realise the 'excellent Spanish healthcare system' will not be there to look after them.

Amethyst81 · 21/01/2017 11:38

I'm so sorry this happened Flowers I really, really hate the way that some people now think its acceptable to openly talk this way and its so bloody ridiculous for anyone to blame immigrants for every problem in this country, several years of Tory cuts I personally blame. I have a polish friend who is experiencing similar to you, people she thought were friends are now talking like this in front of her and I think she is doubting many people now and her future in the UK. I also worry for my Bengali DH and my DDs as we have noticed a change in attitude towards them since brexit, more open hostility, we seem to have taken a step backwards which is so sad.

dowhatnow · 21/01/2017 11:38

charles I voted remain. I have no issue with immigration. I just have a concern about numbers.

SparklyFuckingBusinessFairy · 21/01/2017 11:40

Some people are twats. They can be born and bred British twats or they can be immigrants - twats come from all over!

The people who spoke to you were twats. Ignore them. Decent people don't think like that.

What we really need is to get rid of twats, regardless of where they were born. That would free up all sorts of stuff. Can we have a twatxit?!

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 21/01/2017 11:41

Those concerned about numbers, why is it solely immigrants who are causing increased pressure on care, hospitals, schools etc? The rising birth rate, lower mortality rates and people living for longer are equally as responsible, as are the ex-pats who fucked off when it suited them and come back to use the services they haven't contributed towards for many years. It's lazy to blame one group of people.

Newbrummie · 21/01/2017 11:42

Borders and border controls disgust me tbh. People are people and should be able to move freely to seek shelter, water and food as required

alltouchedout · 21/01/2017 11:42

Are people who think this way unreasonable?

Of course they are. Unreasonable is an extremely polite way to describe scum like this. I hope you stay. I hope my DH stays. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted out though. I bloody want out and I'm British born- I have never been so embarrassed by this country.

Carollocking · 21/01/2017 11:43

I voted to leave because I don't want to pay for the total wasters that are unelected government of Europe and don't want adhere to laws made by unelected government,I Also don't want to fund other countries to the expense of my own loosing out in bad health care and lots more as they say charity begins at home.

Cherryskypie · 21/01/2017 11:44

Racists and idiots are concerned. We desperately need working people with young families. We have an ageing population who have just voted to kick out the people who would have paid for their pensions.

ivykaty44 · 21/01/2017 11:44

Blame culture is awful, single mother used to get the blame but now it's foreigners. It's easier to blame others than wake up to the realisations of the past and present and make changes for a better future all together.

Wonder who these people will blame when all "foreigners" have gone home..?

SleepFreeZone · 21/01/2017 11:45

Ideally we'd probably like to get rid of all the morons out the country but most of them would be English. Personally your best bet would just be to not engage in these kind of arguments at parties, rise above it all. They were probably pissed and trying to justify themselves and hopefully will wake up this meningitis realising what knobs they were last night.

SleepFreeZone · 21/01/2017 11:45

Morning not meningitis 🙄

DoctorDonnaNoble · 21/01/2017 11:45

Instead we'll lose out due to relying on workers from the EU to run the NHS.
But don't worry you've solved something that wasn't an issue anyway

hahahaIdontgetit · 21/01/2017 11:48

No I don't want you to leave, and nor do my family and friends. I have stopped speaking to a number of people who seem to think the Brexit vote has given them a right to spout racist nonsense.

I'm sorry you have had this experience, and I don't believe (I can't believe) that everyone who voted to leave the EU is racist. But you can guarantee every racist voted to leave.

Please don't think that British people want you to go, most of us don't and we need to stand up to the bigots.

Wonderflonium · 21/01/2017 11:48

I'm in the reverse position (a Brit living in Denmark). I've been here for nearly 10 years and locals have not been shy about telling me how they dislike immigrants/immigration to my face, right from the start.

The best one was at a wedding where an old lady said that all crime was caused by immigrants, making steady eye contact only with me. (I haven't as much as returned a library book late!)

If I tell the Danes who would never say anything like that around me, they make excuses for their countrymen and say it's just a minority or say that it's just idiots or say they meant the "other" immigrants. So, it sort of gets backed up even by the "nice" ones because they minimise it and make me feel over-sensitive.

It's gutting that the UK is going the same way. It's also really irritating that they seem to have fallen for the propaganda aimed at distracting them for the real reasons that living standards have dropped, instead of thinking critically for themselves. The right-wing press and all the politicians have just found it expedient to blame the Other and they've gobbled it up without question.

I'd LOVE a "foreigners' strike" in countries like this, where the immigrants just all call in sick on the same day. (but it'd get spun into "look at these entitled shits, why don't they go home if they don't like it?!" by the press)

dowhatnow · 21/01/2017 11:48

The whole referendum thing has just allowed people who have always had these thoughts, to speak them out loud. It's a shame that it has been so divisive. I've mentioned numbers and there has to be some limits, but I'm horrified that you were made to feel as you did.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 21/01/2017 11:49

don't want to fund other countries to the expense of my own loosing out in bad health care and lots more as they say charity begins at home

How good do you think the healthcare system will be when all the immigrant workers (doctors, nurses, auxiliary staff) can no longer work? Not great, considering that our NHS is propped up considerably by immigrant workers.
As for "charity begins at home", I'm not quite sure where you're going with that.

Cherryskypie · 21/01/2017 11:49

My MIL who's never paid in a penny in her life and my FIL who spent most of the 70s overseas for tax reasons voted out. My DH works with Belgians and Germans and Irish people who pay in more in a year than they've contributed in a life time.