AIBU to want posters to stop saying that someone 'is' ASD?

[JigglyTuff]

It's not a taat because it's across multiple threads. Someone can have an ASD or have autism or even, if you must, be autistic. But no one is ASD.

Polly that sucks. So many misconceptions by supposed professionals.

I know. My doctor who referred me said I'll give you the "label" if you want it but you've done alright so far, haven't you?

I gave up.

Incidentally soon after, the mental health wellbeing service I was under was drastically trimmed back.

I'm in another area of the country now that seems to be more open to it but I'm doing alright, the counselling up here helped as she drilled down to, not trying to change/fix me or my thinking processes but using coping mechanisms. Have to say meltdowns are a lot less dramatic. Social situations slightly better but I adjust my life to suit my autism. Other people's expectations of how I should be is not my problem (that's taken me 25 years to accept)

My DH2b is great. He didn't know anything about it until he met me. But , for example, when we are out and it's time to go home, he knows not to string it out as implosion is imminent lol. He asks intermittently through a social event if I'm ok. Time means being very accurate. I can be a real arsehole about schedules and not to make last minutes changes or throw something at me unexpectedly. Asking me questions and getting to know how to ask them so I understand what he means (be literal) and not being made to feel thick or talked over if I don't get it. I'm actually quite clever but only in stuff I like or am interested in, everything else is fog. Understanding a shut down mentally is just that, nothing personal and is essential. But to be honest he is quite similar. I see things very black and white and he likes that because he gets lost in grey stuff a bit.

I'm very good at reading people funnily enough and most situations because I do not get bogged down in the emotional, manipulative, bullshit stuff that surrounds it. My mum reckons I'm emotionally "hard" but I'm not really. I'm a very tactile, loving person but only with my DH2b and my children...oh and animals of course.

I often get "you were right about them or that"

See I'm going on and on now but I love this subject

I'm a married, working with family aspie too. I did go for the diagnosis because I find it useful for work purposes to be able to say "x is difficult for me" or "I need a quiet desk because of x" or "it's helpful for me to be able to work from home because..."

'm a married, working with family aspie too. I did go for the diagnosis because I find it useful for work purposes to be able to say "x is difficult for me" or "I need a quiet desk because of x" or "it's helpful for me to be able to work from home because..."

That's all I wanted. . You can't do that without.

I'm now in a lovely p/t job at an accountants and pretty much left to my own devices. Accountancy work is very easy for me. It is what it is.

Previously I was an IFA. Pushed into it through events. I HATED it with a passion. I had a breakdown in 2012 and still the the doctors didn't connect it up. So I gave up my potential illustrious career...much to a lot of other people's disappointment) for happiness and a salary of £6k per year (which means I can be at home and disappear up my own arse for hours, talk with my horse as she "gets" me, work to my own schedule and have enough down time to manage 15 hours a week in a work environment)

And to add I wouldn't be able to do this without my DH2b. He's up 4am, sometimes 3am doing 12 hrs a day. When I first moved up here I stupidly took on a full time IFA back office role. I couldn't handle it.

We had money falling out of our bums but he said one morning when I was struggling, and getting to know more about my autism "give it up then, pack the job in".

I then had 3 months in which I could get my head together again. He did not push once for me to get another job but I started to get a bit bored. I was choosy though and applied for my now job and got it the next day! It really is great as all my colleagues are introverted to hell (except one but he's hilarious). I mean, I go in and say "morning" and they grunt. I bloody love it.

I work in FS too, actually studied accounting but (absolutely no offence meant) it bored me to tears! I worked while doing the degree and ended up moving in to actuarial. It's been tough, it was actually workplace bullying and finding myself on the fast track to disciplinary, improvement plans and probable sacking that made me get the diagnosis and it changed a lot; the stuff I was getting in to trouble with was basically down to 1: lacking the ability to perceive what people expected if I wasn't told and 2: not being able to socially understand the bully's games. Diagnosis meant I got some breathing room, help to articulate things and just made it easier.

I've moved on to another company now, very technical and techy. It largely works ok; I still don't fit socially, I try to leave sharpish as I'm never sure what's worse - being asked to the pub, or not being asked to the pub!

1: lacking the ability to perceive what people expected if I wasn't told and 2: not being able to socially understand the bully's games. Diagnosis meant I got some breathing room, help to articulate things and just made it easier.

I've moved on to another company now, very technical and techy. It largely works ok; I still don't fit socially, I try to leave sharpish as I'm never sure what's worse - being asked to the pub, or not being asked to the pub!

Oooo number 1: aaarrrggghhh. Say no more. No. Actually just tell me what you fucking want as in a...b...then c. Thanks.

Number 2: actually quite good at this. As I said before I can "see" people. However, I'm far too blunt and end up offending people. I'll come out with "oh they are being a cunt aren't they?" (Cue horrified expressions) my mum calls me Jack Blunt and my DH2b says if, for example, to cut a tag off clothing, "use that tongue of yours darling"

My filter isn't great in that department.

Re: the pub. Absolutely get that! But it would be not being asked is the preference. Lol.

(Sorry to others for derailing the thread)

I'm generally OK at seeing people, but it sometimes takes me a wee while; like I'll have a conversation and it's not until I go home and talk through what happened that I'm like "Oh, hang on...", but then in some ways I'm very good at seeing overall motivations. But this one was particularly devious and was (unknown to me) blaming all failings in our project on me, even though she was the senior one. So my boss had an impression that was very false.

Most of the time I don't want to be asked; but then sometimes it's upsetting when you realise everyone else has been planning to go and you're not invited! Kind of emphasises that you don't fit.

Oh I'm blunt as heck and swear like a trooper. But I'm scottish, fuck is a form of punctuation.

Ah well, we don't fit do we? But I'm happy with that. Now. I used to be in my own world watching the rest of the world through smoked glass always being a little bit "out of step". My younger years felt like this very much.

Haha re: Scottish punctuation I'm a complete potty mouth so you're in good company.

I had to have my GP write a letter, with my supporting statement, go before a panel for funding for diagnosis. I had to argue why a diagnosis at 30odd would change my life. which is bloody ridiculous

Sorry, missed loads of posts there.

I worked in statistics for years. I'm now a maths teacher. I swear most of my department have traits.

I have to admit, I took a shortcut and got a private referral for diagnosis; at the time the specialist who headed up the local adult autism nhs unit also did private consultations. The process here is slow, GP then referral to general psychiatric services (12 week target) then if they approved you'd be referred to the specialists (another 6-8 weeks)

My job was at threat so £350 for a consult was money well spent. I know I was lucky to be able to do it though

Off topic but Random q statistically, did you inform your GP after the private diagnosis? I need to do that but not sure if I just ring them up and go into discuss or if they would be like why are you telling me this

The doctor who diagnosed me wrote to them if I remember correctly

It's slow if you're at risk of losing your job before then

That's just ridiculous and probably harmful in many cases. But when you need immediate help then 5 months is still slow, especially for adults where there is no need to assess ongoing development. It might be faster than your area but if you are in immediate trouble it's still shit.

Here there is a 3 year wait before assessment even starts.

good grief!