'I'm a bit OCD'

[Whosecoatisthatjacket]

As a precautionary measure I've altered my user name but would appreciate some advice in case I am being over sensitive.

A manager (not mine, but still my superior) has just sent out an email explaining something minor she has done by saying 'sorry but I have OCD.' She doesn't, she's just very organised and tidy.

I don't have OCD but did used to live next door to a chap with it. We saw so little of what he had to go through-only some rituals such as having to walk down his path repeatedly before leaving the house-but it still seemed crippling.

The manager did not mean to be disrespectful and the tone was clearly light hearted so am I being over sensitive to find it in poor taste? If I'm being reasonable, how do I raise it with her kindly without coming across as sanctimonious? Maybe I AM being sanctimonious??

I work with someone who finds it incredibly difficult to actually leave work because he spends over an hour turning his computer off, checking its off, switching it on to see if he had switched it off, switching it off again. Finally, when he's satisfied that it's off, he then switches off the plug. Then panics that he did it before the laptop was properly closed down so has to boot it up again to check.

It's so painful to watch, and the afternoon is also fraught as he's clock watching to know when he can begin his ritual. I can't imagine the stress he goes through actually doing it.
We have learnt to leave him to it, rather than just stating the obvious - yes of course you switched it off the first time. He's spent up to about 4 hours sometimes, usually saying he's doing other things around the place but really, it's so he can keep checking.

His house is messy, he wears old clothes, he doesn't come across as what many think an OCD person 'should look like' but I would say he is affected by it.
And yes, I think you're being over sensitive without actually knowing she does/doesn't have OCD.

But you don't know if does or doesn't have it?

I don't know why people can't just say I'm obsessive about blah rather than a bit OCD although loads of people say something or someone gave them a heart attack when really it was just a bit of a shock.

Drives me mad when people say this. I have OCD and it's miserable. It isn't just wanting things tidy and neat. Its washing your hands until they crack and bleed, its not leaving the house because you can't stop checking things over and over. Its joyless and painful and woefully misunderstood.

What was the context?

If she really has OCD, and made an error because of it, when mentioning that to the team she should include assurances to the effect it won't happen again because she's taken steps XYZ, or manager is assisting her with that responsibility, etc. You can't just say 'I've failed at part of my role because OCD, suck it up' that makes no sense.

If she doesn't have OCD she's been a cock.

I have OCD. The expression a 'bit' OCD pisses me off no end. EVERYONE IS A BIT OCD. OCD involves normal behaviours to which you add a repetitive or compulsive element and then you suffer distress if those behaviours are not performed. A 'bit' OCD is basically saying oh I perform normal behaviours. Yeah NO SHIT SHERLOCK.

I don't think it's up to you to judge if she has OCD or not.

Yes, some people are "a bit OCD", there are various levels and it's totally unreasonable to make a judgement about something you don't know. You are not in their head, in their life.

I am "a bit ocd", I rarely say it because I don't want to discuss it, but it doesn't offend me when someone else says it, how do I know what they are going through? What I find irritating is the constant need to make judgement about other people.

I have OCD, in the form of intrusive thoughts. It has blighted my life and at times made me not want to carry on living.

I'm not a very tidy person, and once when I told someone at work that I had OCD (as part of a wider conversation about mental health) they responded 'you're fucking not OCD, look at your desk!'.

Some people are just ignorant.

Yup, my 17 year old has OCD and it rules hers and our lives. She is incredibly messy and would never dream of tidying up after herself unless it involves her obsessions about germs, contamination etc. She doesn't leave the house really.

You are not being unreasonable to find it offensive, but I'd carefully consider how you play this out at work. I'd leave it if I were you.

I have it and its ruled my life since I was a child. However it does not bother me in the slightest if someone uses this phrase - they truly have no idea what it is to be ruled by compulsions and thoughts that don't make any sense and I am glad they don't.

And to be offended on behalf of your neighbor who this woman doesn't even know - ridiculous

But we don't know if the woman actually said that she was "a bit OCD" since, despite the title, the OP says the woman said "I have OCD" which is completely different and perfectly reasonable, and which makes the OP's reaction unreasonable in my remarkably humble opinion.

Sorry, was working today. I actually wrote it from memory and the title was reflective of the attitude it appeared to have been written with-the part I missed out (accidentally and not a massive drip feed!!) was that it says 'sorry but I have OCD ha ha.' That would have given better context.

I actually called her today about something else and just said 'do you really have OCD or were you joking?' and she replied 'only with my work calendar-I'm not weird with anything else.'

I was, again, a bit non-plussed as to what to say (I am not usually this pathetic about things-I have no idea why it's stumping me so much) because it still seems like she's joking about something not funny, but, as someone has said, not everyone is as bad as my neighbour's our was. Perhaps you can have OCD about one thing and joke about it to keep it from being a problem?

Thank you to the poster who said if it's not affecting me then let it go (I've paraphrased that!)-I think that's what I'll do although I worry that kind of gives it permission. Perhaps it's just a first world problem. I don't know-thank you for taking time to reply though, I've read it all and noted all the perspectives (even though my post had a massive omission!!)

Whosecoatisthatjacket I had OCD for years, it was never diagnosed and morphed into an eating disorder which I am still getting help for.

I'm sure it is not a laughing matter but I am not offended by her comment.

I think, personally, that there are a lot of things we can 'have', 'suffer' with to different degrees over the years. Your boss clearly think that OCD is weird, which is true, it is IMHO but then again so are a lot of things that affect people's lives. And actually weird itself seems to mean differet things to people.

If you had OCD I might be tempted to say to the boss it is a real problem and not to make light of it.

But in reality I actually think people understanding more about OCD is actually helpful so in a way I am not sure she is doing any harm. As someone who has had it, ignored it and paid the price I would say your best bet is just to promote getting help for it.

I actually disagree with the poster saying if it doesn't affect you let it go. As someone with actual diagnosed OCD I really appreciate those who challenge the casual use of it. When people make such stupid comments about a mental illness that has had a huge negative impact on my life and continues to do so it's hurtful. So people making an effort to stamp it out is really kind and helpful. I was too shy and embarrassed to challenge people when I was younger but now make sure I do. These sort of comments are so harmful to the perception of OCD and make it really difficult when a genuine sufferer opens up to someone only to get the reply 'I'm the same, I have to have XYZ in a certain order/ keep my kitchen immaculate etc'.

A good approach I've found is 'I'm so sorry to hear that, when were you diagnosed/ are you having treatment/ is there anything I can do to support you.' They will either laugh or have the good grace to look a bit sheepish, while saying they don't really have OCD/ are just a bit fussy about XYZ.

Next reply 'oh did you realise OCD is actually a debilitating mental illness?' or 'oh, I'm not really comfortable with jokes about mental illness.' With your colleague something along the lines of 'you know that comment you made about OCD, it made me really uncomfortable. I've known someone with OCD and life was a real struggle for them. It's really not just being picky about things like a work diary.'

See, I just use the term 'particular'

As in, "sorry, I have to do it this way instead of that way, I'm just a bit particular about it"

OCD is overused. But in saying that, you don't know she isn't.

Agree with others who say you have no idea if she does or doesn't. She didn't say "I'm a bit OCD" but that she has it. The "has OCD" is commonly used by those describing their tidiness.

I do have OCD but people can't tell at face value. My husband sees my compulsions and how worked up I can get if things are out of sync, my routine is messed up, the washing up is done in the wrong order, or even if my daughter eats the wrong coloured skittle when nabbing one of mine. They sound absolutely ridiculous to sone but they send my mind into a frenzy. It affects the way I work but only those who watch me work and watch for the patterns would ever be able to tell.

I've learned to control it thanks to early warning signs and catching it at a younger age. One DD is following suit so we're now keeping close eye to see if it is OCD or if she's just copying me as kids can do.

But yes this manager could have it and be on the milder side or have the tools in place to control things better. You don't know so stay out of it. If she is saying it more for attention then you win by not mentioning it anyway.

I had treatment for mine so I'm not as bad anymore but at one point my feet had to touch the right colours on the ground so if left foot walked on a light patch right foot had to or I felt uneven and off balance it's a nightmare in this town the pavement is patchwork

Perhaps you can have OCD about one thing and joke about it to keep it from being a problem?

You don't have OCD about one thing. You have either been diagnosed with it, or you haven't and are just organised.

Your boss may have OCD so you're being unreasonable to judge in this specific instance.

In general I struggle to get my knickers in a twist. They're only words.

I've occasionally heard people say "I'm a bit bi-polar" or "manic". Neither of which worry me. I ctually am but them re-using, perhaps mis-using the words has no effect on me whatsoever. Why would it?

The same as describing yourself as having a phobia. I get the impression, people who do have these conditions want to keep them exclusive to preserve it for themselves. It does you no harm whatsoever having the phrase used for milder (much, much) conditions.

OP I'm with you, I find it irritating and the saying belittles what can be a crippling illness. My friend's daughter has it and her dd and their family they have been through hell and back because of her condition.

A pet hate of mine 'a bit OCD' is like saying 'my leg is a bit broken'

Maybe ask your manager is she actually does have the condition.

It pisses me off because so much of my life has been horribly hard because of my OCD and now it's the same for my son.

However, my OCD looks nothing like people think it should. I am not tidy and I do not wash my hands a lot unless I'm at work. It takes many many forms.

People who say they have OCD when they don't have it piss me off. It's a serious condition that should not be made light of.

I've been told by MH professionals that I have many OCD traits but not actual
OCD. So to my mind I am 'a bit OCD'. I'm sorry if it offends, that's truly not my intention, but how else should I describe it?

I actually disagree with the poster saying if it doesn't affect you let it go. As someone with actual diagnosed OCD I really appreciate those who challenge the casual use of it. When people make such stupid comments about a mental illness that has had a huge negative impact on my life and continues to do so it's hurtful. So people making an effort to stamp it out is really kind and helpful.

This completely.

It comes especially hard when I see what it is doing to my son. If only the people who use is when they don't have it could spend a day in our shoes.

I do feel a bit when people use the phrase 'a bit OCD', but i won't lose sleep over it or anything.
Sounds like in this instance it was being used as an alternative to 'particular'. Which isn't correct.

But, don't assume that everyone with OCD presents in the same way. I have had it all my life, officially diagnosed at 11 years old. I don't wash my hand exessively, or take hours to get out of the house.
I will be able to tell you how many syllables i've used that day (in a 1-5 counting system, not total) and i will have to 'complete' it to 5 before i go to bed. Eg 'i like cheese it's really nice' puts me on '2' (1234512). People have no idea i do this, and i do it without thinking as i've done it for 30 years.

I do the same with steps. Have to round my fitbit up before bed. I am very tidy, but its not about germs for me, i literally cant think amongst mess. I like everything away and calm. But can leave the hoovering for days.

Basically i need everything to be 'perfect' and complete and whole. If i dont do these things i genuinely feel on edge and incomplete, and have worrying thoughts in the back of my mind.

I have got better with age, but that could also be that ive just got so used to it it doesnt take time anymore, so i dont notice it as much