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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... To be annoyed at parents organising parties for the last week in January

271 replies

Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 15:51

Is it not a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of people are super skint the last week in January, could you wait one more week to organise your child's party, four invites received this week for this weekend arghhh small school everyone knows when parties are on, just enough for food seriously can't stretch to four presents, everything broke this month super screwed

OP posts:
MrGrumpy01 · 17/01/2017 18:35

Yep my bloody inconsiderate son for being born pre-term. Maybe when I was in labour I shouldn't have worried about whether he would need extra care at birth (he didn't) but instead how awkward it would be for parties. Grin

But you might moan about going to parties, I have to organise 2 within 2 wgrin, followed by another 6 weeks later.

MrGrumpy01 · 17/01/2017 18:35

Within 2 weeks

PeridotPassion · 17/01/2017 18:36

Ds1's birthday is at the end of January and he has a party on the closest Saturday...this year it's the 28th Jan.

He wants to have his party close to his actual birthday (wouldn't anyone?). Invites go out, you either accept or decline.

YABU.

SomethingLikeFlying · 17/01/2017 18:37

rookie Thank you notes... seriously? Grin Well I've never received one and would never expect one either.

But of course my point wasn't about thank you notes and you know it.

TinselTwins · 17/01/2017 18:42

Bumsex even if only 2 out of 30 DID have names attached, why would you not at least make a mental note of who they were from if not a written one? Even if you never mention it to the giver again, it's nice for kids to know/remember who gave them what as much as possible. My kids have toys they were given a couple of years ago and they still mention "X gave me that" - and that's what's nice about gifts right?

NoraDora · 17/01/2017 18:44

Missanneshirley
The OP did use Christmas spending as an excuse for money being tight now. That is no one's fault but her own. It's not like people can move their birthday.

It is acceptable to go to a party without a present. I would rather a child came to the party without a present than they didn't attend because of a lack of present.

OnlyAFoolsChance · 17/01/2017 18:45

My DSDs party is a meal at a restaurant this week. Half the kids invited (out of 12) have made excuses for not coming, I've heard from 2, and the other 4 nothing so far. I get its right after Christmas, and tbh we have car insurance etc to pay so really this is the cheapest option we could do. It's not her fault her bday is at the end of January :(

Sara107 · 17/01/2017 18:51

Is not giving gifts an option? There's a child who comes to DDs parties without a gift. I wonder if anyone else does this?

bumsexatthebingo · 17/01/2017 18:53

A mental note of all the gifts while I'm also trying to host a party of 30 + kids and sort out squabbles, spilt drinks, kids who can't find their mum, kids who've fallen over or wet themselves etc etc? Really?
As I said My kids thank their friends for the gifts when they receive them. They will also likely thank them again when they say bye at the end of the party. And I always follow up with a text. I doubt anyone feels they've not been thanked enough after 3 times!
I'm not sure why you are so bothered by how others do things. If your way works for you then great. It would probably work well for smaller parties. But even if my kids knew who had got what on the day I doubt they'd remember 30 odd presents years later. My kids have tended to have up to around 45 kids at their parties including friends from out of school. This is the first year my eldest only wants a few close friends.

CerealShopper · 17/01/2017 18:58

I find January the best time to buy presents: there are some awesome sales on. I have started stocking up for my dds birthday, which is just before Christmas, and I always put away presents for upcoming birthdays too.

Original poster
Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 18:59

Wheredidallthejaffacakesgo cheers 😊, your post actually just made me cry, ( in a thanks for the empathy way )so yes I am just having a bad day and this was a half joking half despairing rant, as I said before I know I am being unreasonable. Thanks to oopsdearyme and missameshirley for the understanding too.
Thanks to all who made present suggestions appreciated
Turkeydinosaurs straight back at you, can honestly say I am never sullen in face in public, or sullen of soul as it might seem you may be

OP posts:
Original poster
Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 19:03

NoraDora I did not, was actually a series of unforcastable events, heating and car, shame on me for being poor

OP posts:
TinselTwins · 17/01/2017 19:04

mental note of all the gifts while I'm also trying to host a party of 30 + kids and sort out squabbles, spilt drinks, kids who can't find their mum, kids who've fallen over or wet themselves etc etc? Really?
Though you said you only had a few with tags to remember? make up your mind Hmm
It's not as hard as you're insisting it is to one way or another remember or note who gave what for the majority of gifts.
Been doing it for years. It's not hard. It's not. And my kids like all class parties most years.

Basicbrown · 17/01/2017 19:05

Er yabu it's shit having a birthday in January.

But with children's parties if it doesn't suit you then decline it's not hard. In fact it'll save them money...!

bumsexatthebingo · 17/01/2017 19:08

I think we'll leave it there Tinsel. Really can't get wound up about how strangers on the internet thank their party guests.

Vandree · 17/01/2017 19:10

But no one is really saying they don't understand being broke especially after christmas. They are saying that most people don't expect a present and would rather the child attend instead or if the OP insisted on buying something then something from the euro shop or something home made or regifted is perfectly fine. My dd will get presents from her friends where I know they are a regift, no problems with that at all. I'd rather they got nothing at all tbh but I'm a mean mammy. When I have tried to tell people to give no gives we got 15 envelopes of €20 which is obscene for an 8 year old and I felt quite embarrassed. We find the last week of the month is really tight luckily for us pay day is the day before the party and we are a bit more comfortable than we were 6 years ago when we nearly lost the house.

Vandree · 17/01/2017 19:13

Awful spelling there. OP, there are weeks when we can't afford to buy a gift and we have nothing in the press to wrap up so we decline. I explain to dd's that we can make their friend a card to give in school and do a playdate at another time in the future and they are more than happy. Don't put pressure on yourself when theres enough on you already

Basicbrown · 17/01/2017 19:14

Is not giving gifts an option? There's a child who comes to DDs parties without a gift. I wonder if anyone else does this?

People don't invite DC to get presents so yes. It is also possible to get really cheap presents from the pound shop/ recycle unwanted gifts. But as someone whose DD has a party shortly don't sweat it, just come.

NoraDora · 17/01/2017 19:17

Fair enough.

Just go gift less, no one will care.

It's not like people can move a birthday.

gamerchick · 17/01/2017 19:20

I think I would like this problem but I don't. My kid never gets invited to parties.
However I do understand being skint. Could you stretch to coins in a card? Most kids like getting money.

pregnantat50 · 17/01/2017 19:27

my friend has 3 children, their birthdays are 9th Jan, 13th Jan, & 27th Jan...it is a super expensive month for them

MsJamieFraser · 17/01/2017 19:27

Yabu. and odd.

Your skint in Jan, that does not mean everyone else is.

lljkk · 17/01/2017 19:31

DD got invited to 4 parties once... in a school year.
DS went to 4 birthday parties... in all the time he was in primary school.
Gee whiz, what a problem. The child is so popular they can't make it to all of their possible social engagements. Must suck to be you.

Aspiringcatlady · 17/01/2017 19:36

My DS was born at the end of January. I arrange his party for his birthday weekend.

TinselTwins · 17/01/2017 19:39

Vandree why don't you let your kids go without a gift?

The only time we had 100% gifts from all kids at an all class party was the time I wrote "no presents" on the invites Hmm
THANK GOD it's not usually that much. 30 presents is far too much when there's also family presents too