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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... To be annoyed at parents organising parties for the last week in January

271 replies

Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 15:51

Is it not a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of people are super skint the last week in January, could you wait one more week to organise your child's party, four invites received this week for this weekend arghhh small school everyone knows when parties are on, just enough for food seriously can't stretch to four presents, everything broke this month super screwed

OP posts:

RubyRoseViolet · 19/01/2017 11:00

Seeds might seem a bit of a "worthy" gift but kids really get excited watching them grow.

Westwinds · 19/01/2017 11:07

I really feel for you. It's not helpful discussing budgeting at this point, if you're just about feeding yourselves then any other financial pressures i.e. 4 additional birthday presents will tip the balance. Sadly you may have to give the parties a miss this time. Alternatively maybe regift an unwanted Christmas present. Good luck.

ThreeBecomeFour · 19/01/2017 12:10

4 parties in one weekend? Heavens alive! I feel for you. January can be tight for people. It's not the children's fault though. They want a party on or near their Birthday. The ideas of buying through the year are great but I guess doesn't help you this year. Options are you choose one or two parties to go to or decline them all as you're doing something else that weekend. I suspect you worded your post flippantly and you've been jumped on. Difficult as you're in a difficult situation there either financially or grumpy children. Can your children make birthday cards? Can you do smaller gifts like a small packet of Shopkins or NomNums etc? Good luck.

Tusty · 19/01/2017 16:07

YABU. My son is having a joint party at the end of January - his is mid Jan, the other boy's is mid Feb. It wouldn't occur to me to have it at a different time (except when he was younger we had summer parties at home outside), especially not because of other people.

Just don't take a present, or don't accept the invites. Although I do the same as someone else, and pick up cool present ideas as they spot them through the year. Pen sets don't cost a cot and you can get really cheap puzzles or craft things. I'd never spend over £5 on another child's birthday present but I'd make sure I got a good value gift that didn't look cheap.

Dieu · 19/01/2017 16:38

YABU. And the sales are on, which means you can get a decent gift for a couple of quid!

Hygellig · 19/01/2017 17:15

Thinking back to the parties I had as a child, I remember the parties themselves but absolutely nothing about the presents that the other children brought me.

AcaciaYou · 19/01/2017 18:58

Seeds are a great present! I've often bought them for the dcs' friends. They've always been enjoyed.

2014newme · 20/01/2017 11:06

Seeds are a shit present. Fact. No child wants seeds.

TinselTwins · 20/01/2017 12:13

Seeds ARE shit presents! The recipients parents would have to go out and buy a whole bag of compost in order for the kid to make use of them.

Cutesbabasmummy · 20/01/2017 13:08

YABU! It's my son's second birthday next week and we are having a party for him on Sunday. Just 9 little friends. I'm not expecting presents for him, just want him.to enjoy himself. I'm. Not going to have a birthday party for him in June when it may be more fun socially agreeable because it's not his birthday! I'd suggest you don't accept the invitations if you're so disgruntled by it all.

Oblomov17 · 20/01/2017 13:10

Seeds?
Are you serious? OMG

TinselTwins · 20/01/2017 13:23

Any gift to a child which requres either extra money or a lot of effort/time on the child's parents part is a shit present. Seeds are shit.

Gifts should be "complete". Seeds are only not shit if you're also give pots and compost in a complete gardening type set, and even then they're a little bit shit because not everyone has time or space to grow them.

TinselTwins · 20/01/2017 13:23

It's a bit like giving fabric markers without also giving a blank white top to use them on.

5moreminutes · 20/01/2017 13:31

I think the first seed giver did suggest giving them with a pot and compost didn't they?

I wouldn't do it myself but I think that (a home made kit) would be an OK present for a preschool child - a 2nd or 3rd or even 4th birthday. Bit dull for an older child who has probably done "growing seeds" multiple times in different contexts both at home and at school - every 5 year old is sent home with a sunflower seed or some cress growing on kitchen roll at some point aren't they? Slightly older children will have moved on from sticking one seed into some compost on the windowsill if they like gardening type of things...

I'm not sure a broad bean is the most appealing seed though

TinselTwins · 20/01/2017 14:14

A potted seed is okay, something like a cress head is nice
A pack of seeds is shit, anything that assumes time, space & the extra materials being available at home is shit unless you know the family very well.
anything which requires any sort of care will die a miserable death in my house!

I think it's better to give nothing than to give something very involved that's just going to disappoint the kid when their parents can't help them complete it.

Like, airfix are tremendous fun for a if you have someone at home who enjoys sitting with you for hours to do them. If you give them to a random kid who doesn't have the space at home to leave things out while they dry and doesn't have someone keen on spending hours and hours helping them - it's just a disappointment.

TinselTwins · 20/01/2017 14:16

"anything which requires any sort of care will die a miserable death in my house!" - I mean anything plant based! my kids are well cared for!

AgainstTheOddsNo2 · 20/01/2017 14:20

I don't ask kids to parties because of the presents they bring. I, and my daughter, would rather the company of your child than a present. If you can't afford a present just don't buy 1!

DirtyDancing · 20/01/2017 14:22

FFS you can't change when your kids birthday is. Go or don't go, it's a simple choice.

YABU. Very. And ungrateful. Think of the parents having to pay out for the £200 party of whatever, you just need a £4 gift

Mehmehmeh19 · 20/01/2017 14:40

Do you know the parents? Text explaining due to an expensive month card only? Maybe a present IOU?

I remember when dd was younger some children didn't bring anything to her parties June birthday Not a care was given. Just lovely see them all having fun

5moreminutes · 20/01/2017 15:28

Dirty accusing the OP of being "ungrateful" is an extremely odd concept - I've thrown 19 individual children's birthday parties so far and will throw at least another 10 or 11 or so I expect, before all my kids outgrow wanting parties - and of course my kids are invited to parties too, but I see no reason why guests should be "grateful" for an invitation!

I, like everyone else throwing their own child a party, invite children because it makes my children happy to have a party for their birthday and parties require guests; if anything I'm grateful people bother using a weekend day to take and fetch their children to help my child celebrate, I'm not issuing invitations out of charity for which I expect gratitude, I issue them out of the selfish desire to spoil my kids on their birthday!

thewideeyedpea · 20/01/2017 15:31

YABU very. Dd2 wants her party near her birthday not the week after (born 28th Jan)
If you can't afford a small gift just politely decline the invite, it's not difficult.

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