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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... To be annoyed at parents organising parties for the last week in January

271 replies

Everexpanding · 17/01/2017 15:51

Is it not a truth universally acknowledged that the vast majority of people are super skint the last week in January, could you wait one more week to organise your child's party, four invites received this week for this weekend arghhh small school everyone knows when parties are on, just enough for food seriously can't stretch to four presents, everything broke this month super screwed

OP posts:
mummymeister · 17/01/2017 16:40

in your shoes I would recycle on any presents that your dc's got for Christmas that they don't really want.

make a mobile - cheap and easy to do. I used to do chimes and add on beads, buttons and sequins.

scour the charity shops for decent preloved presents this is the best time of year to do this.

do a voucher for the birthday girl or boy as in "this voucher entitles you to a playdate with (insert your childs name here) where we will make biscuits/see a film/whatever" one of my friends always used to give this to our kids and they absolutely loved it. handmade on card with glitter and feathers and it felt really personal too.

TinselTwins · 17/01/2017 16:42

FWIW I love party invites when I'm skint, especially in winter when there are no indoor activities that include a meal for kids for the price of a cheap gift & card!

Vandree · 17/01/2017 16:42

YABU

Its my daughters birthday tomorrow. We are having family over this saturday and a school party next saturday. I tell everyone not to worry about presents and also don't expect everyone to attend. When we get invites to parties we can't afford to attend we just don't accept them. Everyone I invited is coming and not a few of them replied to my mention of no presents that its not my daughters fault her birthday is in january and she will of course get a present. Its not expected but will be graciously received. My daughter knows that the only things she can expect is a party from us and a present from us.

I also have 3 nephews birthdays next week and planned accordingly with gifts. Same as in June when we have 5 family birthdays in 4 days and 8 family birthdays in 2 weeks.

If you can't afford to buy a gift either tell the host you cannot attend or is it ok to buy a gift after pay day. I have never taken offence when a parent from school has said the same and have always told them not to worry about it, the party is enough. I'm not being unreasonable having a party in January, you are BU to complain when its only an invitation you can refuse

PerspicaciaTick · 17/01/2017 16:44

It is monumentally shit having a January birthday.
People forget it entirely, probably because they switch off after Christmas and the date just passes them by.
Nobody wants to be spending money.
Everybody is dieting or doing dry January or whatever and don't want to come out for a meal or a drink.
It is dark and cold. No fun outdoor parties, interesting activities or picnics.
It is dark and cold and there are no Christmas decorations left to brighten up your home/pub/local hall.
You've got 11 months before you get any more presents, the long dark tea time of the soul stretched out ahead.

And now someone is bitching about us daring to have a party to celebrate.

CryingShame · 17/01/2017 16:45

Keep an eye on charity shops for presents for the parties. There are unwanted gifts making their way in which look brand new. January is harder for us because we're paid earlier in December so have more days to stretch the standard money over.

Hygellig · 17/01/2017 16:49

Surely you can't blame them for wanting to have a party when their child's birthday is!

DD had a party in the first week of January; it's not ideal but that's when she was born. I would hate anyone to feel they had to decline because they couldn't afford a present. She'd be happy with a box of Maltesers or something from the pound shop.

dowhatnow · 17/01/2017 16:58

If you say that you'll buy one after payday, most people will say "don't worry. We would just like X to come". You say "are you sure?" that say "yes" and no hard feelings at all. Or you buy them a present later if you can afford to and want to.
I know some will say that they don't want others to know that they are skint but I think that little conversation leads to less feeling guilty. Or just send a card. It's a shame to decline just because of the present issue though, especially if it is not a whole class thing. The birthday child has invited your child because they want them there, not because of the present.

MackerelOfFact · 17/01/2017 16:58

Card Factory 5 cards for £1, packet of balloons from Poundland, blow a few balloons up for each child, tie them together with string and take them to the party. Never met a kid who didn't love a balloon. Pop it in a box and wrap the box up if you want a wrapped present!

user1471521762 · 17/01/2017 17:02

possibly tell a white lie and say the amazon delivery not arrived - give them a card saying present will be delivered asap. they will just want guests to come and I know I wouldn't mind either if a child came presentless or if the present arrived late. I also know that my children have always treasured home made cards from friends - it shows the thought really is there.

SheldonCRules · 17/01/2017 17:02

YABU, children like their parties close to their actual birthday not weeks later.

Christmas comes at the same time every year, it's not like it's a surprise. Not sure why January is any different than any other month.

Sendcoffeeandchocs · 17/01/2017 17:07

My boy's birthday is Jan 1st. Is he not supposed to have a party????Angry

MarilynWhirlwindRocks · 17/01/2017 17:09

Pro Tip for small and cheap presents, yet which are always very popular with kids 8ish and under:

Novelty mini torches!

Perfect for winter birthdays, and you can usually save ££s by bulk buying. Whether you include the batteries (flipping pricey things) is up to you...

Underthemoonlight · 17/01/2017 17:10

I have a birthday in January that being said you don't have to accept the invites just decline.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 17/01/2017 17:16

Just get yourself down the pound shop for 4 cheap presents. It's not a competition for who has bought the best present. Some felt tips or something is fine.

2rebecca · 17/01/2017 17:17

YABU. Although Jan is a horrible month, particularly if self employed as half your tax is paid then as well.

Dagnabit · 17/01/2017 17:17

I usually have more money left over this month than any other months as I've completed Christmas buying by Novembers pay and have saved stamps to pay for extra food - that, with the saving of fuel used for work as have over a week off and no wraparound bills, I'm quids in!

I realise this sounds a bit smug and unhelpful but wanted to illustrate that we aren't all totally skint in January next month is a different story due to dh's birthday My ds has a birthday the week before Christmas when people might be needing money and time for different things but would like to hope that parents would happy to bring their dc to his party.

MarilynWhirlwindRocks · 17/01/2017 17:19

Disclaimer:
OP, I do realise, though, from past personal experience, how 'bulk buying' and 'planning ahead' sometimes just isn't possible when you're living hand to mouth after unforeseen outlay on repairs etc.

SecondsLeft · 17/01/2017 17:19

On the upside, some fun and entertainment when its hard to get out and about...

memyselfandaye · 17/01/2017 17:22

I am one of those parents, the party is next Sunday. I would rather you brought your kid to the party without a present than just not come.

Ours is for 40 kids, I would'nt even notice if you did'nt bring anything.

MapMyMum · 17/01/2017 17:24

Our school has a no present thing going on, so we all pop 5euro into the card which is great, its cheaper for the party goers and the birthday child can buy a toy/books they want instead of things others think they want!

Baylisiana · 17/01/2017 17:25

I think it is unfortunate that there is this expectation that everyone in the whole class attends and brings a present. With the number of parties, it is just too much to ask. I am sorry OP, you ought to be able to feel happy at an invitation without being expected to fork out endlessly. My nieces always had no presents please on their invites, some people still brought them but still, it gives more of a choice.

rookiemere · 17/01/2017 17:25

YABU.
I take on board what you're saying about finances, but I love that DS has pals with January birthdays and parties.

It's also universally acknowledged that January is a dull, tiresome, dark month where nothing much goes on. I am overjoyed when he gets an invite as means he has something to look forward to apart from the one for the boy he isn't inviting to his party that we're declining as it's the polite thing to do.

TinselTwins · 17/01/2017 17:30

apart from the one for the boy he isn't inviting to his party that we're declining as it's the polite thing to do.

No it's not! That's bonkers!

DD is having a whole class party next month, I hope that her friends who had 3 or 4 friends to their parties don't turn her party down on principle! that would be very sad for DD

rookiemere · 17/01/2017 17:36

It's quite a pricey party per head TinselTwins and DS isn't that bothered about going.

SomethingLikeFlying · 17/01/2017 17:36

YABU. My ds has been to 2 parties in January and I wasn't mad at the parents in the slightest for it.
Are children with January/early February birthdays just not supposed to have parties or wait until March for their parties? Confused