to think you get treated better if you are slim than if you are fat?

[Ambiencepetal]

I have been fat and slim and I did notice I got treated better when I was slim than when I was fat.

I found this article too:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/20/fat-discrimination-women-experiences-size-prejudice_n_3308012.html

YANBU - but I think if you're very skinny/slim or bigger than a size 16 you'll get criticised. In the last year I've gone from a 24 to a 12-14 (lost 6 stone so far). I haven't started wearing make-up, wear the same sort of clothes just smaller (jeans, t-shirts/tops/dresses) and my hair is exactly the same. My family have said it's me just smaller, so I take that to mean my attitude/self confidence is the same and I certainly don't feel any more confident, although I was always tired so maybe that reflected in how I acted?

Anyway, I've definitely noticed that I get more help in shops if I'm looking around and men walking down the street actually look at me and smile rather than past or through me. It's all a bit disconcerting after spending my whole teenage and adult life up to now (I'm 31) not being noticed or looked at. I keep checking my face in mirrors because I think there's something on it. Makes me feel uncomfortable in a different way to being how I felt being bigger.

I have been very slim due to illness. 5ft 7 and 6 stone and I found it was mainly men who would pinch my arms and tell me I need to eat more. I once even got asked by a couple if I was a junkie due to being so thin which was mortifying.
At my heaviest weight of nine stone that was when I was treated better by both sexes but maybe that was because i came across more confident and was treated appropriately
Whether we are thin or overweight ideally no one should be treated differently and have others push their prejudices onto others.

do you eat, referred to as skinny xxx, constantly asked what i eat, your fading away etc

See, I have had all of those said to me at work, but I've never sensed meanness behind the remarks, more like curiosity. I work in a restaurant and staff meals are provided free, so I guess when they go round with the list to ask what everyone wants, and I say no thanks, it's just unusual. But my shifts are only 6 hours and I don't personally need to eat in 6 hours so I don't bother, I just have a coffee.

A couple of my co-workers did ask me about my weight, but more in a what's-your-secret way than anything unpleasant (my "secret" is just two things, regular fasting and avoiding wheat).

That said, I'm crap at reading people so who knows!

Have never really been fat, but like a poster upthread, have been at the larger end of normal - was a good size 12. And I did feel the "invisibility" people have been discussing. I knew I wasn't fat, but I wasn't slim, either.

Having been very large and tiny yes, smaller people generally get treated better but small people still get judgement, usually that you are too small or "need to eat something".

Strummerville i know what you mean, don't think it's meant in a nasty way, more just curious but it's happened a lot over the year's plus i'm quite a big eater so i get wow how can you eat all that. I think its just genetics from one side of the family. DM and DGM are a lot shorter and the same shape but 'im tall and skinny like the other side.

I’ve been fat and I’ve been slim. The world is definitely nicer to slim people.

We all know women can get shit about their bodies no matter what size they are but ‘fat’ is always a pejorative in a way that ‘skinny’ isn’t. Of course ‘skinny’ can be used as an insult, but lots of people use it in a positive way too. As Kate Moss herself said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’.

SleepOhHowIMissYou

Haha! I agree about the invisibility (and that it's not entirely welcome).

But it does smart, being treated differently by colleagues, some of whom no longer stop to say hello.

During my weight loss I kept forgetting that I looked different now and was puzzled by peoples behaviour around me. People are definitely more helpful and friendlier now. I think that I carry myself better and dress better these days, maybe being more confident is the trick?

I lost 2.5 stone, to me that's a lot, happy that it has gone and I have lots of respect for people around with bigger losses.

Unwelcome, that should have been!

By and large we respond positively to good looking people. As a slim body is one of our beauty ideals, that's the reason people respond more positively to the slim than the fat.

As Kate Moss herself said ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’.

Ah but it does, that's the difficult part

I once even got asked by a couple if I was a junkie due to being so thin which was mortifying.

YOU were mortified? I'd have ripped them a new one each, the appalling twats.

Sapphire Looking back I wish I had tore them a new one for being so rude rather than professing my innocence and saying it's due to ill health which I really shouldn't have had to explain to strangers.

No, quite. People seem to think they can say anything to you if you're thin!

Whereas some people wankers think its fine and dandy to lean out of their car window and bellow fat cunt at you me if you're overweight.

Some people are horrible regardless of what size you are.

I'm slim, short and fairly young looking. People tend to assume that I'm significantly younger than I am, and I have little physical presence. I've waited over half an hour at the front of busy bars constantly being ignored while the people around me got served. Recently someone thought I was the sister of my friend's 3 year old . At work it causes problems because I'm about the same size as y7s. Colleagues don't notice me. If I had £1 every time someone came and said "where's your teacher?".

Being slim built with a small bust means I look girly rather than womanly, and it does affect people's ability to take me seriously as an adult. I did have less of an issue when I had more bust from breastfeeding, but sadly they keep shrinking back to A/B cup after I'm done.

People will react (and say daft things) to superficial looks, large or small.

People keep claiming that it's just that slimmer people 'have better self-esteem'

Yes, and conviently ignoring those of us on the thread who have said they were actually ill/feeling bad/etc when slim, so definitely not coming across as 'more confident' or with 'better self-esteem'.

I noticed better treatment even when I was rapidly losing and I looked a state: all my clothes were too big, so they hung off me, I was ill, exhausted, my hair was a mess, I paid no attention to my appearance other than to check and make sure my trousers wouldn't fall down around my ankles. People were responding to my size alone, not any personality or 'good looks'.

Or do you think maybe when you are slim you are more confident and out going and people respond better to you if you seem more happy?

I am a happy person regardless of my weight. Of course I wasn't happy being fat, but that was an internal thing not something I portrayed to others.