to think you get treated better if you are slim than if you are fat?

[Ambiencepetal]

I have been fat and slim and I did notice I got treated better when I was slim than when I was fat.

I found this article too:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/20/fat-discrimination-women-experiences-size-prejudice_n_3308012.html

There's been a whole slew of threads like this lately, what's brought it on?

I agree, i have been both and it is like living in different worlds, people treat you so differently. It is such an eye opener. There are also a few people who treat you the same, interesting to see too.

Slim and thin are not the same thing but yes both underweight and overweight people do get unfairly judged

Agree. Slim and thin are not the same.

And yes thin people also get judged.

I was going to say the same Mummy. I'm lucky to have never been overweight but I've definitely been bigger than I'd like to be and uncomfortable about it. When I am feeling self-conscious I think I project myself less and am on the alert for slight looks / adjustments in attitude / tone of voice I can perceive negatively. Makes it impossible to make comparisons about people are actually treating me because I'm perceiving it all wonky.

I wonder if age is a factor too. I think a young, slim 20 something might be perceived differently to a squashy 40 yo. People might see them as being more 'relevant'. I'm not cheering myself up here....

People who are unhealthily overweight look like they have no self control, and like they are either lazy or disorganised.

This makes me so sad. I think about, for instance, my mum who at one point was working 80% of full time, looking after a 7 and a 4 year old while her husband worked very long hours, and doing an OU degree in the spare time she somehow managed to have. It makes me so sad to think that people would look at the fact she's overweight and think she's lazy. I've never been heavier then when I was writing up my PhD thesis, and I'm pretty sure that that was a period of my life in which I was not ill-disciplined, lazy or disorganised. I was, however, too busy and too engaged in serious intellectual work to give much of a flying fuck about how I looked in my skinny jeans.

I have been very overweight and just a little overweight. (never slim!) The main difference was from women. They were much nicer to me when I was bigger.

I would actually agree aswell that when confident in yourself whatever size you project a more confident persona and so that may also play apart

Given that for most the ideal seems to be slim and overweight seen as negative ( I couldn't give a hoot what other people look like but that seems to be the general way it is ) then when people are slimmer they are more likely to feel good about themselfs and this confidence is noticeable

I certainly dress better and make more effort with make up and hair etc now than when I was bigger . I used to hide myself in baggy clothes ( that actually were Massivley unflattering and made me look bigger looking back) and didn't really wear much make up or have my hair styled like I do now as I was unhappy with my size and the clothes I was wearing i didn't want to try "glam up" as felt it didn't really make much difference

YANBU. I've been overweight to some degree all my adult life, but people responded better to me at a (tall and curvy) size 14/16 than they do now I'm a 22. Apart from being invisible to men now (which I don't mind tbh) it's like I've got a sign over my head saying 'dismiss me, nothing interesting to see here'. People reckon they know my personality on sight and it's fat lazy slob. All the charming things someone said upthread about how fat people look

Ironically I'm much more together now than I was at my smaller size. I was a total mess back then, depressed and ill and needy and quite frankly failing to do my laundry as often as I needed to. But miserable and stinky is still better than fat, or something.

Cuts both ways. I'm lanky (NOT skinny, although boy do people love to lob that word at me) and get lots of personal comments.

People assume I'm veggie or vegan and tell me what they think about that. (I'm neither). People say I'm anorexic, which is SERIOUSLY offensive to anyone who is.

If I'm eating, say, fruit people give me angry looks and accuse me of eating 'so healthily', in an aggressive way. If I'm eating some chocolate I get the same angry resentful manner and comments about how unfair it is.

A medical consultant once, as I walked in to his office, gave me a quick look and said 'You're a bit underweight, aren't you?'. Didn't really bother me but I thought it was unprofessional – if someone was very worried/feeling fragile about their health, a comment like that could send them into a tailspin.

Fat or thin, I feel that women's bodies are just considered fair game for comments and judgements. And that's not on.

People who are unhealthily overweight look like they have no self control, and like they are either lazy or disorganised.

They don't look like that to me, it would never cross my mind because I know better. They look like to some uninformed and unimaginative people, I think you should have said.

Agree slim and thin are not the same. I have been treated best when at the extreme low end of the recommended range for my height. I can imagine if I had gone significantly below that people would have become quite negative, I think very thin people are the recipients of a lot of prejudice also.

Although actually, at this size I think I get more women wanting to be friends. A certain kind of person sees me and goes yes, you, I want to have coffee with you. Which is loads better than having strange men try to follow me home, so maybe I should stay fat.

Not sure it as as simple as fat or thin.

I think people who are well dressed, well groomed etc are treated better than those wearing old clothes with hair all over the place etc. It is because appearance sends so many unspoken messages about an individual's status in society. Some of the messages can be wrong - the Queen in ta head scarf sometimes looks distinctly ordinary - but people pick up on and react to those clues.

Oh and I also hate the assumption that if overweight people must be fat lazy slobs !!!

I think more likely for a lot of people and certainly for me when I was that a busy hectic schedule due to work / study / Dc can mean that healthy eating and excersize are often put to the back of the priority list due to having so little free time !

I was treated better when slim than I am now I am fat. I also find that I am treated with outright rudeness and total disrespect by some if I am very dressed down and haven't done hair and makeup. People are so superficial ;)

I'm sorry to say that I agree with the OP. I have been both slim and fat and I have been treated differently. I wonder though whether that is partly because I tend to look after myself (dress up, accessorise, make up etc) when I am slimmer and feel more lively because I am exercising more. I don't know.

I think it's deeply depressing though, both society's attitude to me when I'm fat and my won attitude to myself when I'm fat.

I have been slim (from size 6-12 I'd class as slim) and am currently overweight at size 16. I 100% agree with you, the general treatment a person get in society is massively different, and far better if you are slim. I have also been anorexic, then I was too thin, and still treated nicer in public, even though some were concerned. Still nicer than the judgement you get when you're fat.

People who visibly take good care of themselves, albeit in a way that doesn't scream "trying too hard" or "self-obsessed", get more positive reactions than people who let themselves go. Why should that surprise anyone? Self-respect is one of the most important personal development goals for anyone.

"I wonder if age is a factor too. I think a young, slim 20 something might be perceived differently to a squashy 40 yo. grin People might see them as being more 'relevant'. I'm not cheering myself up here...."

I would say that in some senior jobs, it might be in reverse. Being older would be a positive advantage - you would be seen to have more experience and gravitas (whether fairly or not)

Fat doesn't lend gravitas.

I have been fat and not so fat. When i was fat I was patronised to fuck. Plenty of people assumed I was stupid. With thinner women I found they instinctively just felt superior to me because they were thinner. The fact I have severe PCOS and probably did a shed more exercise than them and ate less wouldn't matter.

EleanorRigby123 I think people who are well dressed, well groomed etc are treated better than those wearing old clothes with hair all over the place etc

And yet a recent thread on here (I think ) about people going to supermarkets in pyjamas - the OP was absolutely roasted for even daring to suggest those people were anything less than at the pinnacle of their game in life, in style, in everything. MN is a funny old place!

I think it depends. I can think of a few larger QC's who definitely have gravitas....

This area is a bit of a specialism for myself having worked with folk from various arenas in pursuit of leanness.. I can say that although slim folk may look healthy, there's an awful lot of unhealthy ones out there.. There are massive misconceptions about this whole area of fat and thin..

I have worked with people who have pulled out all the stops to getting lean, and struggled all the way to do so, having to endure harsh self denial etc, the slightest slip leading to weight gain..whilst others have simply given up eating Jamie Dodgers and became exceptionally lean..

This is about genetics and insulin resistance, the bigger baby, the more potential for fat cells, the more fat cells, the insulin resistance, the more insulin resistance, the ghrelin released to increase appetite, the more food eaten and so the vicious circle continues... There's a strong potential for addiction to food and unlike alcohol, you can't just stop eating food, thus the primer is always there.. Realisation and the urge to do something about excess weight, always comes at a time when all the support systems and lymph, water retaining ability etc are developed to carry such weight, thus you then have a set point..

there's not a lot we can do with what we inherit and only the switched on, committed and focused amongst us have any chance of decent weight management.. I do really feel for people who are classed obese, as in my opinion it is actually no different to being black or white and to mock someone for being either one or the other is indeed more or less the same..

You might have gravitas despite being fat but you win't have gravitas because of it.