to think you get treated better if you are slim than if you are fat?

[Ambiencepetal]

I have been fat and slim and I did notice I got treated better when I was slim than when I was fat.

I found this article too:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/20/fat-discrimination-women-experiences-size-prejudice_n_3308012.html

I agree with that - but equally I don't think you will automatically have gravitas if you are slim

Or do you think maybe when you are slim you are more confident and out going and people respond better to you if you seem more happy?
I find when i gain weight my self esteem is lower and i try to blen in more and avoid eye contact with people in fear of someone speaking to me.
I am thin, ive carried weight too and i understand what you say... but i think it was more to do with myself and state of mind how i waa percieved rather than how i looked.

No you don't but it seems to be more likely than the other way round

*blend. I probably dont make sense but it made sense in my head

At my slimmest I was a size 8, and used to get comments about not eating etc. At my fattest is now, I'm an 18, last year I got back ache at work from lifting oven trays out of a deck for over a fortnight and straight 9 plus hour shifts, back ache was manageable, until it trapped my sciatic nerve and couldn't walk let alone work, of course its because I was fat that caused me sciatica, not the fact that I didn't get a break during those shifts or the fact that I was doing the same thing day in day out.

People keep claiming that it's just that slimmer people 'have better self-esteem':

1. Confident overweight people are not treated the same as slim confident people; they are patronised or treated as faintly ludicrous. Look at all the 'bubbly fat girl' stereotypes.
2. If overweight people have lower self esteem that's not inherent or some massive coincidence; it's exactly because of the ugly attitudes and prejudices that lots of people have been describing on this thread. Suggesting that it's because they carry themselves with less confidence seems dangerously close to blaming overweight people when other people treat them badly, rather than suggesting that it's the people with prejudices about weight who should have a long, hard look at themselves.

Ive never been slim, but in my experience. Ive never personally found that. I won't allow people to speak to or treat me like shit. I don't do that to people, so. I won't have it back.

margerat Whike I get your point I don't think it's just because of the confidence thing but I think you could say for some people it is the case as myself along with others have said that is our own experience of feeling and acting more confident when slimmer and given that the ideal in society seems to be to be slimmer I can see why this can happen

You cannot change other people's prejudices. At best, you can make them shut up about them.

Confident overweight people are not treated the same as slim confident people; they are patronised or treated as faintly ludicrous

You cannot change other people's prejudices. At best, you can make them shut up about them.

Please, please tell us how Bobo,

Really, bluntness? You've never heard the 'bubbly fat girl' stereotype (that bit you cut off the end of my sentence)?

I actually don't think that censorship (which is what making people shut up about their prejudices is) is desirable!

Absolutely agree.

I get pestered when I'm slim. When I'm fat, as I am now, I am sexually invisible....but that's no bad thing.

Perception-wise, Fat = lazy vs Slim = in control and together. That's my experience anyway.

That being said, I find people like fat me better than slim me, both men and women. I seem to be more approachable and less threatening. Married men would avoid talking to me as a slim (f*ckable) woman but no longer do. Could be an age thing too though, I suppose more 40's men are married than younger ones, but I've noticed the difference in the talk nowadays, they're not trying to pull, they're asking things about your kids etc, normal conversation with no undertones same as I'd have with a woman.

In truth though, no-one cares that much about other people being fat. Of course you're judged, but ultimately people are insular and more concerned with how they are being perceived themselves to worry about other people's weight.

Prejudices aren't particularly interesting or desirable.

I don't know as i have always been the same size, never seem to be able to put weight, am around a size 8/10 but tall so probably look a bit skinny. I work with people who are larger than me and it seems to be me who is at the brunt of the jokes, chicken legs, do you eat, referred to as skinny xxx, constantly asked what i eat, your fading away etc

I would rather people's prejudices were out in the open so I can take steps to deal with them according to my own needs.

I agree. I have never been fat, but I have been at the high end of normal weight. I got treated loads better at size 8 than 12.

femski fascinating. My weight has crept up and up just as my mothers did, genetics is certainly at play. We are virtually the same shape despite different lifestyle choices and diet.

You've never heard the 'bubbly fat girl' stereotype (that bit you cut off the end of my sentence)?

Some people are kind and treat people well regardless of size or appearance. Some are not, and do not. When I was larger I found it an easy way to tell who was a nice person!

YANBU.
I went from a slim/normal size to really very large.
People have actually gone from talking to me, offering to help me, wanting to spend time with me, to either completely ignoring me, taking the puss, or giving me advice on how to lose weight.

So yes, people are rude to us fatter women in my experience.

I find it sad that the slim ladies have also been made to feel uncomfortable, that's awful, sorry ladies.

I'm noticing this, having gone from 8.5 stones (size 10) to 10.5 stones (size 12/14).

Can this happen even with a 2 stone gain?

Absolutely Chloe.

I become invisible at 11 stone.

It's like donning Harry Potter's cloak.

10 stone and every smart-arse wants a go, 14 pounds later, nothing! Bliss!