AIBU to not provide food at a birthday party?!

[WobbleYourHead]

DS is going to be 9 next birthday. He wants a skate party at our local roller rink. The party will be 6:15pm until 7:45pm on a Sunday night (they're fixed times for parties and this is the slot available on the date we want).
We have a limited budget and without food he could invite his whole class, friends from cubs, football etc. If we cater the party then it'd drastically limit numbers.
We plan to provide drinks for the kids and there's a cafe on site that will be open if parents want to stay.
WIBU to allow him to invite all the friends he wants and skip the catering?!

Anyone's aloud a party bag . Can't imagine what you would put In it though bar sweets . Seems pointless

Downstairs But those activities are "sold" as activities, not a party.

It is customary to feed people at a party. If there is to be no food it should be worded as something like "come and join me for an hour or so of roller skating to celebrate my birthday" rather than a party invitation because there will be an expectation of food. Although I agree that most food doesn't get eaten at a party like that anyway.

I still think a drink and a snack would not go amiss.

this sounds like a fabulous party. Just make it clear on invite that you will provide snacks. It's is not too early for them to eat beforehand and how many parents will love the excuse to pick up chips/takeaway on way home. I would not think twice about lack of a meal. They will be all lobster pink and sweaty anyway and not wanting to sit down afterwards. Enjoy.

I dont think you need food. Theres a local indoor play centre that does a 18:30 - 20:00 party with no food. Always have drinks and thats it. Be nice to have snacks but that time of night i think proper food would be weord tbh.

Yes, you need to provide some food. Be a bit more selective, class and a few friends if he gets all class party invites, if not, make a choice. Also at that time on a Sunday? It is late and fewer may come. How ill you calm kids down after a petty at that time, ready for Monday???

Wow after reading through this thread cannot believe how high some parents expectations are of a child's birthday party, on which said children are attending at no cost (bar if brought a present which poster has clearly stated isn't necessary due to volume)

It's her child's 9th Birthday, I have a 10 year old and believe me they most certainly can aquire the volume of friends stated 50+, school friends, after school clubs, children of parent friends, siblings of their own friends, young family members ie cousin's, children who live local but do not attend same school ect. My Daughter would much prefer a celebration with everyone to a "sit down meal/buffet" with a select few...than having to choose between friends to invite.

Expecting some form of meal is ludicrous...it's a party that lasts 90mins at a time when alot of families have already eaten...and if not is it that hard to move your evening meal forward slightly for your child to enjoy themselves rather than you feel it's an inconvenience. I know I wouldnt hesitate to juggle something as easy as an earlier dinner round, rather than my child miss out.

Yes it's a Sunday and some may feel quite late...but if your routine is that strict I hardly feel one late night (and early dinner) is going to upset routine...especially after skating...will more than likely fall straight asleep. Not exactly late for majority of 9 year olds. As she's said she's booked the hall...places like this will only accommodate this at certain hours. Most children will be amateur skaters...I'd much prefer my child who not as confident skating to attend a party at closed ring without the older confident skaters or just older children in general maybe bumping into children. At least you know all children on ring are you responsibility.

This Mother is trying her hardest to give her son the birthday he desires. And hats off to her!! My daughter would love a party like this as I'm sure all her friends would too. Even if it meant missing out on a buffet/food.

Before judging this mum, put yourself in your child's shoes (or think back to when you were at school)...

Would you...
A) Be thrilled at being invited to such an amazing party with ALL your classmates ..but maybe an early dinner..

B) Be the child who didn't make the invite list because of cost of food...and enjoy hearing all about Monday morning...(when routine back to normal)

Don't think a single child would answer B.

Hope your son has an amazing party!!

Emma x

Oh forgot to mention...my children have been to many a parties where the invite clearly states food not included...and never heard anyone moan...just make sure add to invites...Good Luck x

"Before judging this mum, put yourself in your child's shoes (or think back to when you were at school)." Calm the heck down, I don't think folk are judging the mum but giving their opinion, like she asked...

And I maintain, it's unreasonable in my opinion to invite shed loads of kids and not feed them. Part of the point of giving kids parties is to show them the ropes of how we treat people in life. Giving a party normally involves catering to make your guests comfortable.

Hmm, I'm sure you never heard them moan because it was behind your back.

I think people would only complain if it wasn't made clear that food isn't included.

I don't think DD has ever known 50 people in one go let alone likes them enough to invite them to a party - small village school, same kids at after school activities, no siblings, no cousins her age, family hundreds of miles away.

People arent judging her? I pretty sure being slammed for not providing food for 90mins and some of the comments made, people are definitely judging..

Giving children a party to "show them the ropes" by feeding them...I'm sorry but a child's party for me is about children enjoying themselves. Sure most parents already "show them the ropes" in their own time.

And I didn't state it was my own children's parties...Parties they have attended previously so most certainly wasn't behind my back.

YABU my Dc's have been to parties without food a couple of times and I find it unusual.
I think you are very brave to have so many children at a skating party as when I have been to these parties the kids seem to need a lot of support and parents generally want to drop and go. Personally, I would curb the numbers and have food and a cake. Good luck and I hope it goes well.

Emma you must have read the whole 338 messages far more thoroughly than me then because I didn't see anyone slam the op but if they did then I agree, no need for that. But the op asked if she was being unreasonable so invited opinions, not judgment. I gave mine.

I also stand by mine view that showing our children how to treat people included things like how to put on a party and to cater for our guests. It's not all about volume and pressies. Still, you have your view and I have mine. It's what makes the world go around

becausebecausebecause...

I did read the whole thread...and although as I put slammed...it was merely put as reading the replies that how it seemed to some parents it was a clear "no no" for someone to not provide their child with food at a party even thou full cost of party...therefore 'judging' her....pretty sure a lot are.
I have nothing against your opinion given if that's how you feel as its what she has asked for...although somewhat obviously don't agree. I would never expect anything when it comes to a party...meals/party bag/cake ect...there are no written laws on how you host a party.

Isn't also showing children the value of sharing important? You can attend this party with 8 or so selective friends with meals included...or eat before you leave for said party and share the party with more guests excluding meal?

Poster never mentioned presents and pretty sure not in her interests...just a son who doesn't want to leave any friends out

Like you say we all have our own opinions x

Absolutely Emma! That's why I would never ask AIBU about such an issue because I'd feel sure enough of my gut as to what I felt was suitable for a party, just going by how my family and we do things. I just figure if the OP is asking, it's because she feels unsure of how 'acceptable' the no food thing is. And that's because you can't please everyone in life thanks to us all having differing styles and views.

Life's rich tapestry x

Becausebecausebecause....Asking AIBU is obviously going to react in lots of wide responses...all posters are from different areas and backgrounds and all have varied 'expectations'... yourself obviously has your views on how you would host a party :)

I just feel no one should judge on how anyone hosts a party (not just original poster just in general)...just be thankful for the invite :)

But like you say can't please everyone...even if you tried. There would always be someone unhappy at time for party due to work commitments ect...if food supplied nothing child like..list endless.

OP should go with what she feels right...will be lots of happy faces :) regardless of a few disgruntled one :) x

I'd drink to that Emma

x

Emma you can have a common sense award!

If the OP had provided food then obviously she would need to make sure that there was veggie & vegan food and gluten/egg/nut/lactose/sugar/fat/fruit/sprout free options in order to keep the MN massive happy!

Part of the point of giving kids parties is to show them the ropes of how we treat people in life. Giving a party normally involves catering to make your guests comfortable.

Sorry but this is ridiculous. A roller disco with a party bag at the end is not going to become fodder for future AIBU's.

A better lesson for the rest of the children (who won't give a shit) would be if someone is kind enough to book out an entire venue and invite you along, plus give you drinks and a party bag then you shouldn't go sniffing because you didn't get some overpriced chips and chicken dippers.

Say thank you and have some toast when you get home.

My 9 year old twins have just received an invite to an ice skating party, which is also on a sunday. It doesn't state either way if there will be food provided and I have just assumed there won't be any. The boys will be having far too much fun ice skating to even think about food. What kid wants to put their skates on, whizz round on the rink, go take their skates off to sit eating sandwiches while they catch their breath, put the skates back on and feel pukey when they start rushing around again? The invite does say that siblings and parents can join in too which I think is a lovely idea.
So I say enjoy seeing loads of kids have loads of fun, and let the feeders silently fume that they have to cook for their own child because they're not stuffing his/her face with sausage rolls and crisps. They're just party poopers!!!

I think it's more important to have friends there then worry about supplying food. Especially when the party starts at 6.15 when most kids will have had their tea. Just make sure you put it on the invite.

Say thank you and have some toast when you get home.

Exactly.

But seeing as this is the time when many families eat it's important to put it on the invite.

I hope your son has fun. The party sounds great :)!

OP I did a skate party for my DS 8th birthday year before last with 20 kids. I did provide food from outside (pizza hut) and all the kids ate as after all that skating they were very hungry. I've always provided food at DS parties but that's me. As long as you make it very clear on the invite and provide good stocked up party bags + drinks as they will get very thirsty, it will be fine. Hope it all goes well.