To ask how much your OH makes so you can be a SAHP?

[justasliver]

Curious. How much does your DH (or DW!) make in order for you to stay at home and not be skint at the end of the month? I don't know how couples do it!

My DB is on minimum wage, and SIL is a SAHM. They are buying their own home and budget very very carefully, because they want my SIL to look after DCs and not be in childcare.

You're making a few very silly assumptions there Enormous Tiger. May I just say.

I would say a more relevant question would be when you bought your house and what your mortgage costs. We have a v modest house in an unfashionable suburb of London, but unless dh earned at least £60k (he doesn't), we can't break even on a monthly take home pay versus mortgage plus bills. I have done detailed workings on this every time I reach breaking point and get tempted to walk out of my job.

You seem to have an axe to grind bibbity which is steering us away from the original point of the thread.

I said 'a lot of that' not all of that.

And I am making no complaint about paying tax whatsoever.

£45k now, but when I first gave up work he was on £20k. It wasn't really about the money not being needed back then. We went without a lot. Just we both wanted me at home. He's been able to travel a lot at the drop of a hat which has helped him progress career wise.

It depends on a number of reasons, where you live, your outgoings, your lifestyle.

I could not work, however I would be bored at home, and I'm just not the type of person to not work.

I am a SAYW, I have no idea what my husband earns and really am not interested. We have no mortgage and don't appear to suffer.

No axe whatsoever Elizabeth. You derailed the thread by bringing up tax! Tax has nothing to do with this thread.

He earns a lot but I went back to work when ds went to school

It's only part time but I love it, pays buttons

Or depends where you live. You can buy houses for £60k where I live

Between us we earn £46K at the moment and could not imagine having to cope with less im absolutely dreading maternity leave and having to rely on DP more, I'm actually in a melt down thinking about it.

No more so than all the other posters who mention tax, tax credits and child benefit-whether or whether they do or do not get it.

I suggest we leave it now because between us we are certainly doing to derail it.

I am SO VERY proud to look after my children

🙄 I was SO VERY proud to "farm" my children out to continue my career. I "farmed" all 4 of them out and paid my nanny an excellent wage. My children are all adults now and I still have my career ☺. I wonder what you'll have when your children grow up?

Do you live in Stepford Catface ? Do you also have the house quiet for the man of the house to come home to? Freshen yourself before his arrival? Have a delicious home cooked meal awaiting him? Take his shoes off while he sits and watches the news?

Unfortunately people do get jealous and rude.

Very.

I don't have to farm them out to someone (and pay them a minimum wage to do it ) honestly how many mothers who can afford to really pay their nannies or childcare anything near a decent wage considering they are entrusting them with THE most precious life?

Because obviously it's the responsibility of mothers who work to pay for childcare. Not the other parents children have, no. Only the women. And of course all mothers who work use paid childcare. Le sigh.

Rudeness happens no matter what side of the fence you sit here cherrycrumblecustard unfortunately. I have been shunned many a time at kids parties by the SAHM when I say that I work, often being asked in a horrifying tone 'what FULL TIME?'
I have never felt badly towards their life choices but occasionally felt they are judgemental and a tad dull, not often though.

We all live our own lives.

The tone this is taking is very depressing.

Nice judgemental post horsey

Yes, isn't it awful when people make sweeping judgements about other people's lives without full possession of the facts?

crafting that sucks. But in all honesty I think its the sahm who get the worse side. The you SHOULD be working!!!! (aka 10x salary upthread). The not-so-subtle implication always being how much sahm's are letting down the women's cause. Usually then justified and pressed home with a slightly acidic 'but you'll lose your independence/husband will leave you one day (and then you'll see!!) / you must be bored out of your head/ what doooo you do all day/ my brain would wither away...bullshit rhetoric.

Oh yawn yawn yawn ANOTHER fight between sahms and wohms.

HQ why don't you lock it now?

I can't believe the incomes of people. I am super jealous. Me and my husband earn 20k a year between us, some months are harder than others depending on overtime availability and extra outgoings. I want to be a stay at home mom but don't think we've got any chance of being able to make it happen. We're going to have to trade off on shifts and miss all time together, he works 5am till 1pm, then I'll have to work 3pm till 10pm. Not ideal and I'm dreading the idea of it already, but I don't really see any other way.

It's a shame, one day hopefully we will all accept that people make their own choices for their own reasons, either because they want to or have to or both.

It seems from the earlier msgs that it's not about having a big salary, its about where you live and outgoings which presumably if you wanted to bad enough you could make changes and make it happen. Life is way too short to live a life that doesn't suit you and your family.
I guess it would be great if it was that simple x

I hope something else turns up for you Hopey that does sound hard. Fingers crossed!