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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's not necessarily rude to correct the teacher?

258 replies

cherrycrumblecustard · 16/01/2017 17:38

DS is nearly ten, he's always been well behaved for the most part and very polite. But lately he has had a bit of an edge to him. He's told me today he's been told off and had to lose his break for correcting the teachers spelling. I know it depends on how he did it. From what he's said he wasn't that rude but is it the correcting that's rude, full stop?

OP posts:
Trifleorbust · 17/01/2017 20:56

DH doesn't despise teachers.

I believe the word you used on your previous thread for his manner towards his son's teachers in the past was "contempt", OP.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 20:59

"cantkeepawayforever

Cherry, what hasn't got anything to do with you? Your DH's behaviour towards you and to others and its affect on your children?? That's just bizarre as a statement."

...effect in your children.
I do hope you are not a teacher...

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/01/2017 21:00

Trifle, genuinely, what do you feel I should do?

I have said, I think, that DH doesn't despise teachers, he isn't always polite to people who stand up to him in any capacity, but it's nothing specific about teachers.

OP posts:
CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:01

"cantkeepawayforever

Cherry, in normal families, the conversation goes like this..."

The "normal families" reference is deeply unpleasant. Some of you are exhibiting bullying behaviour. IMO

Wonderflonium · 17/01/2017 21:02

Agreed, Cara. This is horrible.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:03

"TalkingofMichaelAngel0

Op you need to protect your son's future here. The more he sees his father act in an abusive way towards women, the more likely he isnto do the same. Do you want to live in a home with an abusive husband and a teen son who also talks down to you?"

Talk about whipping it up. Hmm

SleepingCitySidewalk · 17/01/2017 21:05

Op are you a teacher, or similar role, yourself?

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:05

...effect ON your children...

SleepingCitySidewalk · 17/01/2017 21:06

Cara there is a back story here.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:06

Why the hectoring, please?

cantkeepawayforever · 17/01/2017 21:06

Cara Blush apologies. Yes, i am a teacher, and normally my spelling and grammar is OK. I do have a couple of 'things I know I should always check' - 'practice / practise' is one, 'effect / affect' another - blame the 1970s education, with all its freeform child-centredness and lack of explicit grammar teaching. Apologies that in this case I didn't check - I am worried about the OP, and her children, and am therefore frustrated and typing too fast without proofreading.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:07

Back story? So what? That doesn't give you the right to treat the OP in this way on a public forum.

Trifleorbust · 17/01/2017 21:08

cherrycrumblecustard: Honestly? I think you are in an abusive relationship and you should leave it. Probably not what you want to hear but I think your current situation is unhealthy for you and your children. Seek whatever support you need (family, Women's Aid) but don't stay with someone who makes you feel so powerless.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:09

cantkeepawayforever

No worries. Thank you for not biting my head off.

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 · 17/01/2017 21:13

cara im always on mn in the evenings when my children are alseep. Im sure i should do something more productive... Anyway, the point im making is i recognise the op and not only the way she describes her husband's actions, but also the way she describes her behaviour towards him. It isnt a healthy relationship. He doesnt sound like a nice, loving man. Most mumsnetters would probably suggest she LTB if she asked.

cara do you think the op's husband is a reasonable man?

cantkeepawayforever · 17/01/2017 21:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/01/2017 21:17

It's not about my husband though. I have to be clear, I don't know what's going to happen. But I do know berating me for his actions is really unfair.

OP posts:
SleepingCitySidewalk · 17/01/2017 21:18

Cara I think people find it difficult that OP
Consistently posts for support detailing her DH's abuse, yet puts her head in the sand when it is so apparent her DC are also being badly affected (is that the right spelling?)

I know how hard it is to leave an abusive man and have every sympathy with women in this situation, but I have even more sympathy for the children also being forced to remain in this situation, especially when the effects on them is minimised and Almost shrugged off, like OP does as demonstrated here.

I'm sure I'm not the only one to find this upsetting and quite hard to read and engage with for various reasons, so I will hide the thread at this point.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/01/2017 21:18

I can't actually believe you have done that to me, cantkeepaway. I really can't. I'm deleting my account. Just back off, please. You might as well text my husband and have done with it. So then you namechange people think your a troll. But you keep the same name and get this? Can't win.

OP posts:
BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2017 21:30

Rainmaker1

In my opinion there's a lot of truth in the phrase "Those who can't do, teach."

It is a shame that there are idiots that don't look up the actual quote before spouting this bollocks.

CaraAspen · 17/01/2017 21:32

Rainmaker doesn't have the wit to Google.

justaguy · 17/01/2017 21:33

Wow. Just wow. What on Earth do some people think they're going to achieve here? This is awful to watch. Let's all trawl through the OP's previous posts and really tear her apart. That'll give her a backbone teach her not to let herself be abused.

Unbelievable. Just back off and leave her alone. As she's asked you to do repeatedly.

cantkeepawayforever · 17/01/2017 21:39

I have asked for my post with links to be deleted, and apologise.

It probably is worth remembering, though, that anything under a username can very easily be linked by anyone reading the site.

Lweji · 17/01/2017 21:40

cantkeepaway

Definitely out of order.
The threads are there for anyone who wants to search for them. They are not a secret. But you really didn't need to link them.

Certainly, cherry couldn't not allow her OH not to go anywhere or say whatever he wanted, either. Another extremely unfair comment.

However, cherry, I think you do need to start considering these issues together. It's not your husband on one side and the children's behaviour as a separate issue. Everything in the family affects them.

cherrycrumblecustard · 17/01/2017 21:43

I kmow Lweji but when people do this I just feel ganged up on and panicky. Whether that's fair or not I don't know. But I have got the most personal stuff I've ever spoken about on those threads, stuff that I had to look away from as I was tpying because it was so mortifying and it's just now linked to on here? It's horrible.

I know DS is turning into a mini DH, give him ten years, he'll be there. Maybe. I hope not. I'm probably bring u fair.

OP posts:
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