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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About my Sunday dinner guest tonight...

120 replies

maddiemookins16mum · 15/01/2017 19:42

I'm so peeved I've hidden in the kitchen, washing up.
Have friends round for Sunday dinner (so basically a main meal of sorts).
Me, DP, DD (12), 4 other adults. Two of each couple work with DP. I know one couple very well, get on great.

Other couple, know the male better as he works with DP. His wife I've met about 4 times, got on well, I work in the travel industry, we've spent many an hour talking holidays.

They came round at 4.30pm. Dinner was slow cooked lamb shanks, roast potatoes, carrots, broccoli and green beans.

Wife of 2nd couple (the one I discussed travel with), announced on arrival, "oh by the way, I'm not eating meat in January?"

I was slightly stunned but carried on getting drinks etc. (took DP aside and said "is she not eating the flipping lamb".

Turns out no, so I got an Iceland frozen salmon steak out t'freezer and cooked it with a pouch of Ainsley Harriot veg cous cous and she had our normal veg too. The roast potatoes were cooked with goose fat left over from Christmas.

The worst bit is, our cat (fluffballmookins), is unwell. She's about 15. She smells. I think it's her breath, her teeth are bad but she would need an operation under gas to clean them but she would not survive/cope with an operation.

Four times in the last hour she has said "that cat smells". She is sitting in the armchair and Fluffball is snoring above her head. Three times I've said, "swap seats with me", I'm on the end seat of a three seater sofa (there is also another armchair).

She picked at her dinner, drank 5 glasses of wine (I only had three bottles between 6 adults on a Sunday night), has smoked just outside my kitchen door, and told DD it's too expensive to train to be a vet so don't bother.

AIBU to want her gone now at half seven (usually they leave about 10).
Disclaimer - we plan these nights (all friends apart from one, have tomorrow off and one doesn't drink, he's the driver).

OP posts:
Gwenhwyfar · 15/01/2017 20:47

"Sorry but the rudeness re your cat would be enough for me"

She wasn't really rude about the cat. She said the cat smells, which OP has admitted herself. Where she's in the wrong it so decline OP's offer to swap seats.

WhereYouLeftIt · 15/01/2017 20:47

You were a better host than I would have been. She'd have got exactly the dinner I had planned, minus the lamb.

Rude baggage she is.

user1484317265 · 15/01/2017 20:49

What the hell is wrong with having 5 glasses of wine???

Nothing at all (I need at least that to get through a dinner party!) unless the person drinking them didn't bring any wine with them, and/or was epically rude to the host.

YouTheCat · 15/01/2017 20:49

She repeatedly said the cat was smelly even though the host had offered to swap seats.

AskBasil · 15/01/2017 20:50

LOL.

Perhaps she's a performance artist and this is an "event"?

Wickedstepmum67 · 15/01/2017 20:53

Go, Mookins! 😆

maddiemookins16mum · 15/01/2017 20:55

Ok, sorry. Just killing time upstairs, between making coffee. Mookins is old. We were at the vet a month ago, more bloods (twice this year). She drinks a fair amont, BUT then is fine for weeks. My DP is playing Game of Thrones Cluedo at present with the gang. I am literally going in every five mins and now GF from couple 1 is out with me.

OP posts:
londonrach · 15/01/2017 20:58

Invite me. I love lamb. Vent away op

PassTheWineAndFags · 15/01/2017 21:00

Screw her, rubbish guest. Surely going to someone's house on a Sunday its worth assuming there will be meat. I vote the cat gets the lamb. My cat is 16, shes been my family for 16 years, she would be put above bad guest. And she's stinky!

MouseLove · 15/01/2017 21:04

You should have just said

Oh sorry, nobody said anything about you not eating meat, I've done a lovely lamb dinner for you. Manage what you can.

And then given her the lamb. Do not pander to her if she can't even be so considerate to tell you her dietary requirements I wouldn't be so gracious to cook her another meal.

statetrooperstacey · 15/01/2017 21:04

I don't think she was rude , she could have told you earlier about the no meat thing but it wasn't that inconvenient for you really, you could have just given her everything else and left the lamb off.
Smoking by the back door , just shut it? 5 glasses of wine no biggie really, don't offer guests alcohol if you don't want them to drink it.
Tell your dd you are happy to pay for her to study to be a vet.
And I would be embarrassed if my pet was so stinky other people complained about it, you have said yourself the cat stinks and u are probably nose blind to an extent so I imagine the smell of your rotting cat was incredibly unpleasant. So stop whinging and get back out there!

Meluzyna · 15/01/2017 21:05

You were a better host than I would have been. She'd have got exactly the dinner I had planned, minus the lamb.

Rude baggage she is.

This.

How can anyone imagine that it is OK to go veggie for a month for the hell of it and then omit to tell your host that you have done so when they invite you for a meal.
20 years ago when vegetarianism was much rarer here I forgot to ask a new acquaintance if she ate meat and prepared a casserole with all the veg cooked in with the meat.
Probably my fault for not checking, but if I were a vegetarian invited out for a meal I would warn my host in the same way i would if I had an allergy or intolerance..... it's a question of manners and common sense; She seems sadly lacking in both.

BadKnee · 15/01/2017 21:07

Nothing wrong with drinking 5 glasses of wine - as long as:

  • you bring wine
  • you are good company
  • you eat what your host has cooked and are appreciative
  • you don't complain about the cat/dog/chairs/children or anything in the house!!!
carefreeeee · 15/01/2017 21:10

Did the vet really tell you the cat wouldn't survive an anaesthetic? That is something owners often believe but cats virtually never die under anaesthetic - even the old knackered ones. It's cruel to leave them with bad teeth just because they are old. Dental disease and old age are two separate problems.

I would advise your daughter not to be a vet unless she really loves dealing with people and also wants to work 8am till 7pm every day plus at least 1 in 3 saturdays and probably also sundays. The pay is well below average for the responsibility and commitment required. If she has the intelligence and abilities to get into vet school she can do lots of other more rewarding and easier jobs. Tell her to read a book called 'Pet hates' by Josh Artmeier for a tongue in cheek but realistic idea of what it's really like!

Rant over - the guest sounds rude. I'd have offered her a bit of cheese or a tin of kidney beans with the veg rather than cooking something special.

Rainbunny · 15/01/2017 21:11

I actually think announcing with no advance warning that you've given up meat for a month when you're invited to a Sunday dinner which everyone knows likely involves roast meat of some sort, is a dick move. I wouldn't have scrambled to offer the salmon tbh even if I liked the guest in question, I'd probably throw a cheese plate together at most. Since she is a meat eater the rest of the time she could have decided to be a polite guest and just eat the lamb this one time or make it clear that she's happy to stick the vegetables. It sounds like you did offer the salmon unprompted though so I can't blame her for the extra work.

She was rude about your cat by complaining but not accepting your offer to swap places and her comment about training to become a vet sounds unessarily negative. All in all though you can avoid her in future and think of her "gift" to evening as an unreasonable gues anecdote for you to entertain friends with :)

timeforabrewnow · 15/01/2017 21:16

I agree that your guest sounds like a prat.

And yes, 5 glasses of wine is a lot. Jeeze

ElsieWormstinker · 15/01/2017 21:21

Tell her "I'm doing no prats in January" so she needs to leave.

PollytheDolly · 15/01/2017 21:24

Get the cat to lick her posh pudding....

Pestilence13610 · 15/01/2017 21:27

You know a guest is bad when you start counting the glasses of wine.
Presume she is normally ok, and just having a bad day.

slummamumma · 15/01/2017 21:29

polly LOL - my thoughts entirely!! poor moo-fluffball

maddiemookins16mum · 15/01/2017 21:29

statetrooperstacey.....my goodness. Really?
For those of you worried about Mookins.....she is old. She is a rescue cat (estimated 13-15 years old). We got her 6 years ago (dumped in her carrier at a vets surgery). She has bad teeth, it affects her heart. We've gone through two ops so far (in the last five years) to remove some and clean others. In June we did full bloods, nothing to worry about but she has a heart murmur and the fact is, a GA might kill her. She has bad breath, we have special (expensive) biscuits from our vet.

OP posts:
PickledCauliflower · 15/01/2017 21:33

I have two elderly dogs who have a bit of a whiff about them.
They have regular baths, bedding washed etc. They have both had various teeth removed because of decay - but they still give off a bit of a pong.
I love them dearly, everyone who visits me knows I have elderly dogs with bad breath, it's never commented on.
She is a rude cow.

PicardsCombOver · 15/01/2017 21:34

My sister screamed at my dog for walking through my living room so I threw her out of my house. How much do you value your relationship with your rude drunken guest Op ?

Gwenhwyfar · 15/01/2017 21:37

"Nothing wrong with drinking 5 glasses of wine - as long as:

  • you bring wine
  • you are good company
  • you eat what your host has cooked and are appreciative
  • you don't complain about the cat/dog/chairs/children or anything in the house!!!"

wine - she brought pudding instead. Are you saying it's like a student party were everyone brings their own wine and only drinks that? It's usually shared?

eating what's been cooked? yes, ideally, but it can happen that you don't like something. Obviously here it was remiss of the guest not to warn that she was veggy.

I think it's fair enough to say something about the cat's smell. The cat will hardly be upset about it.

Mum2jenny · 15/01/2017 21:39

Just drink more wine and be ok!

Sorry about your guests in the morning when they've gone xx