My boss acts like she's my mum/worries about how much I'm eating.

[user1484493755]

I'm a single mum of a 4 year old boy. Im aged 26. I started a very demanding job with long hours. I am extremely passionate about this job. I started this job overweight at 13st and I'm now 10st and look slim but healthy (I'm 5ft6). I've been in the job 3 months.

I am just so busy so eat at midday and eat a sandwich and have a coffee and cup of tea. We get free meals on shift. I choose healthy options. When I first started I was getting through the day on a yogurt and fruit but I got better at working efficiently so now have time for lunch.

I eat cereal bars/fruit/yogurt for a snack and have dinner at 5 before leaving to go home. My boss told me in supervision I was a real asset to the team and a grafter but I needed to make sure I took my lunch to relax and to make sure I eat a decent lunch.

If I miss lunch my boss comes in and tells me to have my lunch and makes me leave what I'm doing to go and eat. If I try and go back to work she tells me to stay in the staff room to finish relaxing until lunch time is over.
She has no concerns I have an eating disorder or anything like that. I'm not even thin. I think she just doesn't want me to burn out from work related stress or lose anymore weight.

On the odd occasion I have to do home
Visits. My manager takes me as she doesn't want me walking through the (extremely rough) area alone.

She's not gay I don't think. It's not that she fancies me. She just really likes me and worries about me. We have two students here and she is the same with them regarding the home visits and takes them in her car too.

Would my eating/lunch taking be a cause for concern with you? Is it unprofessional?

While I think it's great she cares, but I'm not sure how many calories your staff eat is your concern and if they want to work hard to meet deadline surely that's a good thing?

Fruit may be natural sugar, but it's still sugar! And your yoghurt will also be high in carbs - which the body treats as sugar.

You need to up the amount of fat you're eating, as well as adding a bit more protein I think - this will keep you fuller for longer, as well as giving you more calories.

BIWI I'm confused! yoghurt isn't high in carbs is it? Sugared yoghurt, sugar is a carbohydrate but you seem to mean something else!

Lactose, in milk, is a sugar too but interestingly yoghurt contains less of this as it's present mostly in the 'whey' part of milk- another good argument for full fat yoghurt which I think should have a slightly higher protein/fat content. But either way yoghurt, depending on sugar content, is still mostly water/fat, not carbohydrate I don't think?

A Muller light yoghurt will be relatively high in carbs, yes.

Each one is almost 8g carbs

The day I start worrying about the sugar content of a cup of fruit and a pot of two of yogurt is the day I give up on life 😂

Seeing as I'm losing weight a few extra carbs aren't going to hurt me. It's not like I'm eating a packet of doughnuts a day!

I agree I need to eat more fat though. I had peanut butter on my toast this morning and I ate some cheddar cheese.

Relatively high compared to what? To water sure. To an actual carb? Surely not. What are these carbs? Are they milk sugars?

What does a muller weight? 60g? 8g of carbs is not much in that case I don't think?

Ha agree OP!

I'm with stealth. Unless there are serious red flags about me not coping, the fact that I prefer to work through lunch is totally my choice and if my boss shoo-ed me out of the office for lunch, I would think her intrusive and find her management style infantilising. People have different work styles. Just because someone prefers el desko does not mean there is a problem.

My boss as mum would drive me bonkers.

If I was your boss and you had lost 3 stone in as many months I think it would be my duty of care to check you are ok, I got ultra slim in my 20s, my boss took me aside and had a quiet word, she was 100% right, I was on the verge of a eating disorder. I couldn't see it but she and the assistant manager knew exactly what was going on. Looking back I think that it was very brave and caring of her to have a quiet word.

But the point is, OP, you'd be far better off consuming full fat yoghurt - a lot more natural and more calories from fat!

And I totally agree that you need to stop worrying about food and calories. You need to focus on enjoying good, wholesome food - and plenty of it.

BIWI and besides that Muller lights are vile, watery muck! 🤢

I remember similar at your age (a very long time ago).

It was not to do with the eating, it was to do with taking a proper break allocated to prevent burn out.

She's being a responsible boss concerned with your mental health welfare. You going off work with stress if what she's seeking to avoid by being responsible.

I think she sounds lovely and very caring. I wish I'd had more bosses like her!

Op you have drastically shrink before her eyes.

You say you feel terrible - no doubt you look terrible.

I'd say she is very concerned that you are not coping and/or have an ED.

Unless there are serious red flags about me not coping, the fact that I prefer to work through lunch is totally my choice and if my boss shoo-ed me out of the office for lunch, I would think her intrusive and find her management style infantilising.

So what part of a new starter losing weight rapidly since starting, not feeling great, not taking breaks and not eating properly wouldn't be a red flag to a supervisor who is supossed to be keeping an eye on the new employee?