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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To call the police and report my cousins DH?

117 replies

Badger84 · 13/01/2017 11:41

More of a WWYD? My cousin married a bloke that had previously been in prison. None of our family know why he was in prison as apparently he doesn't want to discuss his past Now I'm not an expert on the law but it must have been something pretty bad as when he was released he was made to live in accommodation which had a warden and he had to have a curfew each night. He know lives with my cousin in a council flat.

They've had a baby together, neither of them work but they always seem to have really nice things - two cars, massive tv, brand new corner sofa, latest phones, all baby gear is expensive stuff.

He's not a nice bloke generally. Always fighting in town, the way he speaks to my aunty and uncle is vile.

I was told the other day that he is a drug dealer and that the reason why this person knows is because she lives opposite the house where he goes to do his "dealings". He is in and out within 5 mins and apparently this is the house where all the local junkies go to get their gear. At first I thought maybe he was just buying the drugs but now looking at their lifestyle I'm not so sure.

Part of me wants to ring the police and shop him, part of me thinks he's got a baby and that's not fair. So MN - WWYD?

OP posts:

SpiritedLondon · 13/01/2017 23:57

OK OP..... Read the comments by Kieran and pay attention to them because it's correct. The information that you provide will be assessed and graded.....you can report anonymously but it makes it harder to act on because there's no way of knowing how credible you are as a source. However it may just be one of a number of pieces of the puzzle, and it all helps the police build a picture of what's happening. What action they take can depend on the priorities of your area. So if you have lots of Burglaries or Robberies etc then resources may be diverted to trying to solve those problems. Generally crack houses have mini crime waves going on around them so you tend to know about them if they are nearby. Police may want to act on the intelligence for that reason, or just because they have made drugs a local priority If that's the case then they may well commit to doing some proactive work around this...there are a number of things they may do which I won't discuss but they may end in the door being kicked in - generally at the dealing address. They will have to have to some pretty good intelligence to search your cousins address - but this will happen in all likelihood if her DH gets arrested ( even if he's away from the address). Don't assume that because marked police cars aren't screeching up and down the street that nothing's happening.

SpiritedLondon · 14/01/2017 00:01

charlottelouisa yeah he sounds like a real catch.

GilMartin · 14/01/2017 00:09

To be honest you sound like you're motivated by spite, jealousy and a dislike of this man. You've got a half cocked third hand story from the local netcurtain twitcher and see it as a stick to beat him with.

You don't like him? Okay, he doesn't sound like my cup of tea either, but what you've got is tittle-tattle.

Sweets101 · 14/01/2017 00:20

OP being concerned about her cousin, her baby and her parents it's spiteful? Hope you're not a member of my family Gill

And if it's just tittle tattle what exactly do you think will come of an anonymous report to crimestoppers/police?

GilMartin · 14/01/2017 00:32

The op seems more concerned by the big TV and seems willing to believe any tittle-tattle that comes her way.

BlackeyedSusan · 14/01/2017 00:39

jealous? ffs who would be jealous of that?

most likely concerned about the child involved. who wants to bring up a child in a house that could get raided by the police or a rival? material possessions are worth nothing in comparison.

BlackeyedSusan · 14/01/2017 00:41

big tvs are mentioned as they are expensive. not the sort of thing you can afford if living long term on benefits.

running two cars possibly, depending on make/model

things that are obviously out of reach would lead one to suspect that there is an income one does not know about.

BorrowedHearts · 14/01/2017 00:53

honestly it sounds more like using and if he is it depends on what he or they are using as to whether id report or not. weed i would let it go, its just a plant and as far as i can see doesn't cause any lasting damage unless used ridiculously often. if the baby is well looked after and home life seems ok then again i wouldn't report, even if he was dealing again depending on the drug it wouldn't worry me. however if its something you really feel you should report then do it if it helps you feel better, just try not to slip up and say you have as it could come back to harm you.

FastWindow · 14/01/2017 01:05

Absolutely, yes. What pps have said upthread.

Don't report, the baby is probably fine. Drugs aren't a big deal, that cannabis stuff, isn't it just a big house plant anyway.

Or 2) shop the crap out of him. Drug users are

MsVTired · 14/01/2017 01:16

Most things like TVs expensive items and clothes are bought using credit from places like Very and Littlewoods! and loans from places like Provident which allow low repayments (but very high) interest for people with bad or low credit.

you do seem more concerned about their possessions OP...

FastWindow · 14/01/2017 01:39

It's quite common for people who live obviously beyond their means to be investigated mrsvtired... That's how benefits cheats generally get caught.

Oh you have a 56 plate 6 series BMW, the latest Samsung smartphone, no actual job , and you're claiming food stamps? Of course, for sure.

notangelinajolie · 14/01/2017 01:49

Drugs dealers are low life scum and the people who buy the drugs from them are plain stupid. Report. Report. Report. One less drug dealer on the streets = hundreds less drug addicts clogging up the NHS.

GilMartin · 14/01/2017 02:30

One less drug dealer on the streets = hundreds less drug addicts clogging up the NHS.

No they wouldn't, they'd just buy the drugs off someone else.

If your local off-licence or pub shut down would you stop buying alcohol? If your corner shop or supermarket closed down would you stop eating cornflakes?

The evil drug pusher and the poor niaive users narrative is at best niaive.

emmyrose2000 · 14/01/2017 04:50

Definitely report, and do it anonymously. Never let on to your cousin in any way that you're aware of the goings on, as it could come back to bite you. If her husband gets arrested and/or the house is raided, he and/or she will blame you even if it's not a result of your call, and who knows how they could retaliate.

If nothing else, do it for the baby. How many times have their been cases of child abuse or whatever, and afterwards people say they knew there was something going on, but never said anything? If this prevents the baby from picking up some accidentally dropped drugs and ingesting them it'll be worth it.

Also, if the husband has been in jail before, and is now supposedly mixing with known drug dealers, it (a) could be a violation of his parole; and/or (b) not be a stretch to assume this is not the first time he's had form for doing this.

sherlocke · 14/01/2017 05:12

He probably isn't a dealer. Dealers usually require the addicts to come to them. Popping into a house for 5 mins sounds like buying not selling, if it is drugs at all.

However his previous offence is more concerning. Probably a fairly serious violent offence if I had to guess. Report to social services. His probation officer (if he has one) may not know he has contact with children. Depends what he did time for though.

GizmoFrisby · 14/01/2017 05:19

I second google his name. It will come up with his sentence. Also I'd report. And don't tell your cousin do it anonymously. Sounds like it's drugs and your right about the money too. Good luck

Peanutandphoenix · 14/01/2017 06:05

I would shop him but do it anonymously because if he is a drug dealer and it certainly sounds like he is if he ever found out that it was you that reported him to the police I dread to think what he would do to you or your cousin in a fit of rage so please be very careful and try your best to get your cousin and her baby away from this looser she can do so much better than him.

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