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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To call the police and report my cousins DH?

117 replies

Badger84 · 13/01/2017 11:41

More of a WWYD? My cousin married a bloke that had previously been in prison. None of our family know why he was in prison as apparently he doesn't want to discuss his past Now I'm not an expert on the law but it must have been something pretty bad as when he was released he was made to live in accommodation which had a warden and he had to have a curfew each night. He know lives with my cousin in a council flat.

They've had a baby together, neither of them work but they always seem to have really nice things - two cars, massive tv, brand new corner sofa, latest phones, all baby gear is expensive stuff.

He's not a nice bloke generally. Always fighting in town, the way he speaks to my aunty and uncle is vile.

I was told the other day that he is a drug dealer and that the reason why this person knows is because she lives opposite the house where he goes to do his "dealings". He is in and out within 5 mins and apparently this is the house where all the local junkies go to get their gear. At first I thought maybe he was just buying the drugs but now looking at their lifestyle I'm not so sure.

Part of me wants to ring the police and shop him, part of me thinks he's got a baby and that's not fair. So MN - WWYD?

OP posts:

Daisypopslop · 13/01/2017 12:45

Report it. Police may well be aware anyway but it's best just to pass info on.
Drugs are terrible they destroy lives.

Haffdonga · 13/01/2017 12:49

Yes I work but that's not the point, Badger

Having an expensive-looking lifestyle is not a crime even if you have no apparent income. The police would not be remotely interested.

ilovesooty · 13/01/2017 13:01

All hearsay unless you have grounds for raising a safeguarding concern.

CockacidalManiac · 13/01/2017 13:06

Yes, there's no proof but that's not the point. If you suspected someone was being abused but had no proof you'd still report. In both cases you give the information to the appropriate professionals, and let them do their thing. If nothing happens as a result of that information, ok. At least you've provided it.

Twinkletowedelephant · 13/01/2017 13:07

I would report...although don't expect much, I reported our neighbours son regularly for 2 years (at least once a month) I knew they days he would get the drugs where he hid the stash when most of his 'clients' would come where he sells what he sells etc. the police weren't intrested- I complained I was told they are not interested in dealers more in the big fish.... so glad we moved away from that.

CockacidalManiac · 13/01/2017 13:08

And to those who oppose doing that; I'm glad I don't live in your community, and you don't know the extent of the intelligence that the police already have on this scrote.

MatildaTheCat · 13/01/2017 13:15

I agree the police are probably aware and won't do much. My friend has a similar house in her respectable residential road and the police turn up ocassionally but nothing changes.

How about reporting concerns to the benefit agencies if you think they are wildly exceeding their income? I'm not saying you should just that it would be an investigation into their lives.

Ultimately it sounds awful but your cousin has chosen him and he sounds a nasty piece of work so I would stay out of it.

KitKats28 · 13/01/2017 13:25

I reported the dealer living opposite us in our old house. So did half the street. The PCSOs came out and were pleasant enough, but blatantly disinterested. I'd still report your family member though.

Teasgonecoldagain · 13/01/2017 13:26

You could try and google his full name and maybe town name to see if there are any results regarding the previous court case and prison sentencing - it's usually public knowledge is it not?

Lilmisskittykat · 13/01/2017 13:37

Crime stoppers on line is anonymous.

toptoe · 13/01/2017 13:44

report for the baby's sake, your cousin's sake and the community's sake. But anon.

crimestoppers-uk.org/give-information/why-contact-crimestoppers/

Aki23 · 13/01/2017 13:45

Report and say they have a small baby at home

TheNoodlesIncident · 13/01/2017 13:58

Report it. It's a tip off. It may help, you never know.

He will not find out how the police came to be aware of him.

Round my way, in a nice neighbourhood, a man was shot on his drive in front of his girlfriend and their little child. Drugs-related. It isn't pretty. Think of that little baby growing up in that environment... I've also lived somewhere not naice where a tip-off resulted in the police making a raid with arrests, and witnessed a dawn police raid on a house on my way to the bus station, so clearly some police officers do actually bother

aginghippy · 13/01/2017 14:01

I would report it anonymously and say there is a baby in the household. You could also say you are reporting anonymously because you are afraid of repercussions for yourself.

The police may or may not end up doing anything, that depends on factors outside of your control. But you can give them the information you have, that's within your control.

EmeraldScorn · 13/01/2017 14:01

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CockacidalManiac · 13/01/2017 14:07

Here's an idea OP, if you have genuine concerns why don't you grow a pair and go speak directly to your cousin and her fella? Alternatively, you could mind your own business and worry about your own life

There's stupid, and then there's that.

CockacidalManiac · 13/01/2017 14:09

I am entirely opposed to drugs, taking them, selling them, growing/making them etc but I don't feel the need to run around like I'm Jessica Fletcher on a mission to right the wrongs of the land.

No, it's much better to be Judge John Deed instead, storming in and putting accusations to an ex con.

Lorelei76 · 13/01/2017 14:23

Emerald - are you determined to get the OP beaten up? And then suspected every time someone reports this guy?

OP up to you but if you report always be nice as pie and gushingly lovely to their faces, or whatever works so they don't suspect you.

Magzmarsh · 13/01/2017 14:28

Another vote for it's highly unlikely the police will do anything, they're not interested in small time dealers.

Bunnyfuller · 13/01/2017 14:29

Just be prepared for nothing to happen! For a start, he might be part of a far bigger investigation. Also, without actually a firm witness statement, it's just someone saying so - it would be recorded but may not be enough to do anything. Also, he might NOT be dealing. He might be up to his ears on the credit cards/buy now pay later nonsense. Someone having a seemingly lavish lifestyle doesn't make them a dealer.

Ring it in, but more importantly speak to your cousin. You may want to let police know there are children present at the address also.

TSSDNCOP · 13/01/2017 14:31

Dob him in. Dealers are filth and getting properly done is the cost of doing business.

"Not your business"? Fuck off to that.

GabsAlot · 13/01/2017 14:34

he cold go back to prison if hes still on license but it sou d like hes using not dealing and it if its jut cannabis he wont get much of a sentence

i doubt you'll break thm up if thats your intention-maybe ss is more appropriate to safeguarding the child

Bunnyfuller · 13/01/2017 14:35

To those people saying police 'can't be bothered' - they don't have the choice of 'being bothered'. Just because you don't see a dawn raid and doors kicked in doesn't mean nothing is going on. Maybe they're working bigger picture. Your dealer needs to get his supplies from somewhere. And no, they won't tell you what will be done with the information you provide, or even give an indication of how it is received. Unless it's old Reg growing weed in his greenhouse the dealer will link to something far more meaningful, and often link with other crime types. Always report, but don't expect it splashed in your local paper next week.

kierenthecommunity · 13/01/2017 14:41

Oh and news alert but a "group of guys" living together doesn't make it a drug den but even if it is it will come to the attention of the police anyway

and how exactly does it come to the attention of the police? carrier pigeon? psychic thought waves? semaphore?

or here's a thought, maybe nosy neighbours?

if everyone said nowt then there would be no intell whatsoever . if you say something nothing may happen. if you don't nothing will definitely happen

Shallishanti · 13/01/2017 14:45

report, deffo, and stress that there is baby in the house

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