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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get annoyed sometimes

27 replies

Rollonbedtime7pm · 13/01/2017 07:16

I have 3 children, all planned and wanted and loved.

But.

I hate getting up early and been woken in the night - baby (who usually sleeps well) was up for 2 hours in the night and then woke us at 6 Angry.
My house is a total mess.
The older kids have times where they nag and complain and drive me crazy.
Running your life around the school run is annoying.
I have a leftover pregnancy belly and am too knackered to do anything about it.
Etc
Etc
Etc

I hate it when people say "ooh cherish every moment" or "least you can have kids" - of course I am grateful for them and would never not have had them but doesn't mean some bits aren't total shit!!

Just having a tired moan I guess but still, AIBU?!

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 14/01/2017 02:18

YANBU.

Children are hard work and annoying and ungrateful. They're anxiety inducing and sleep depriving. They frequently smell, expel their bodily fluids onto you and have no sense of personal space. So, no YANBU to sometimes acknowledge that.

Thank goodness for the cute/cuddly/hilarious/wise/fun/incredible/unconditional love part or we'd have died out with the invention of the pill!

Valentine2 · 14/01/2017 02:25

I hug you. Something really urgent came up and I have this night to finish it. I am really tired but DC2 is going to wake up if I go work on the table. Sad

BusterGonad · 14/01/2017 04:55

Child are sent to us to push us to our limits! Mine is up at 6am everyday of the week! 😡

SorrelSoup · 14/01/2017 04:59

I was woken at 4am cos dd was scared of a crayon mark on her whiteboard. No chance of going back to sleep now Angry. Day of whinging, fighting and screaming ahead. Bastards.

isthistoonosy · 14/01/2017 05:21

Two toddlers up at 5 everyday here. Thanks goodness for nursery I don't know how sahm's of toddlers stay sane.

Welshrainbow · 14/01/2017 07:16

Unless you are having a full on rant to someone who is struggling to conceive etc then YANBU.
We all feel like that sometimes. My DS has just gone back to nursery after a Xmas break no matter how many times we tell them to leave him sleep as long as he wants for his afternoon nap they wake him after an hour so he's ratty when I collect, in full on meltdown by the time we get home, difficult to get to sleep and wakes without fail at 4:30. In contrast well rested DS is happy to be collected, enjoys a nice bath and easy bed time and sleeps till 6. Arrgh! Sorry hijacked your thread for my own rant!

TheDowagerCuntess · 14/01/2017 07:22

YANBU.

We all - or most of us, at least - love our children to the ends of the earth, would do anything for them, and would be devastated if the worst happened.

But that doesn't mean we all love the mothering experience. Like any job or profession, some of us are cut out for it and are good at it, and some of us struggle, and find it hard.

That's OK. Imagine if everyone had to be a doctor. Or an architect, or a nurse. Not all of us would be good at it.

We do our best, and if your kids know you love them, and are content and secure, that's about the best you can hope for.

PastysPrincess · 14/01/2017 07:26

It's only half 7 in the morning and son has been full on whining from the moment he woke at 6.

It's the one thing I don't have the patience for.

Yep, I know how you feel. YANBU.

BusterGonad · 14/01/2017 07:27

I find the most annoying thing is that you have to take them everywhere, I feel a bit poorly today and need some medicine, my husband is at work and I can't bare to drag him to the chemist in foot and get my medicine with him moaning! Luckily a friend is popping over and she's picking it up! Otherwise I think I'd end up raging at him because I feel ill and short tempered and hi moaning would've sent me over the edge! 😡😂

BusterGonad · 14/01/2017 07:28

His moaning I mean!

Gizlotsmum · 14/01/2017 07:33

Two tired children here, but they refuse to have a lie in, when sent back to bed this morning they just get louder, bring them down do one of us can have a lie in and they squabble! Have now resorted to tv for peace....

bumblingmum · 14/01/2017 07:44

It is hard and exhausting and the sleeplessness is the worst thing. It get easier when they are older which probably seems a million years away.
Do what makes your life easier, watch tv for ages, feed them a bought pancake as soon as they get up to stop hunger whinging (seems more acceptable than biscuits). Hide in the loo for 5 minutes peace if you need to! We've all done it.
I had baby belly till youngest was about 4 years as too tired and couldn't get motivated.
It will get easier and you won't remember/care about the messy house. You will remember the hugs so hug them more.

CakesRUs · 14/01/2017 07:53

Have to say, I lost my daughter to cancer when she was 5 and my 10 year old niece was also diagnosed recently and really, really struggling on chemo. She's been in hospital all week; she had to go in due to not keeping anything down after chemo, (they put a feeding tube in on Tuesday) her kidneys are suffering and the chemo protocol might have to be changed, she's been put on high blood pressure medication (at this point for an indefinite amount of time) and keeps crying that's she's missing her friends at school and feeling shit. Before Christmas she had 6 weeks of radiotherapy where she was put to sleep every single day, in order to have it done. I have been through all this myself, and still lost my daughter at the end of 2 years of aggressive treatment. Life will never be the same. I had a tearful convo with my sister yesterday about how normal, boring days and boring lives/problems are underrated. My sister is an emotional wreck. I've had 3 kids, my sister 4, so I hear you when you say it's hard, but believe me, there are people who crave what you have. I also have a severely disabled son, he's 16 and still in nappies, he can't talk and will never live an independent life. He's 6ft 4in, 17 stone but has the mental capacity of an 18 month old. So whilst yanbu to be feeling overwhelmed, believe me, you could have so much more in life to worry about. This isn't a pity post, if I hadn't had that conversation earlier with my sister, I'd have scrolled on by.

witsender · 14/01/2017 08:00

Read this and commit it to memory.

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/1206346

WaitrosePigeon · 14/01/2017 08:01

Course you're not being unreasonable.

You are however very tired and grumpy. Make a cup of tea and take the baby back up to bed with you?

BravoPanda · 14/01/2017 08:03

CakesRus that doesn't make the OP's gripes any more invalid in her circumstance. I'm sorry for your loss and your current situation but all OP wants is somewhere to rant for a moment.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 14/01/2017 08:05

So sorry for everything you're going through Cakesrus Flowers

Of course everyone knows that there is always someone worse off and we should be thankful. That doesn't mean the ops feelings are any less though.

I've a friend with twins, one of whom has additional needs. Of course I acknowledge that her life is so much harder than mine and that in comparison my DS is so easy to care for. However that doesn't mean I don't have tough times. I've not seen her in a while because she rubbishes my feelings all the time because I haven't got it as bad as her.

hesterton · 14/01/2017 08:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stilllivinginazoo · 14/01/2017 08:10

Parentings hard.my youngest is 9and still gets up at 5(bout better at be quiet enough not wake whole house).clung ti the funny moments.sod the housework.when you're gone they won't reminisce his much cleaning you did fondly, but time you let them eat cheerios/icecresm etc sit in your bedGrin
As long as you have moments each day,even if it's not til they asleep you can look misty eyed a t them it's all good.
Remember the mantra if you a mum and don't feel guilty you ain't doing it right!!

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 14/01/2017 08:15

No YADNBU, they are ungrateful little shits most of the time but luckiky they have hilarious, quirky, adorably loving little moments every now & again which makes everything ok.
Yes there's always someone worse off but it's absolutely fine to feel pissed off & rant on here about it.

BusterGonad · 14/01/2017 08:17

I'm sorry for your loss Cakes, we are having a light hearted rant, in no way would we be without our children, we are merely having a fun rant as all parents do, my son nearly died at birth, he was very premature at 1lb 10oz but I still find parenting hard work and would lie if I said his start in life cancels out all the annoyances. For you cakes 🌺Flowers

PastysPrincess · 14/01/2017 08:17

You know what...people are allowed to feel how they feel. Someone else's misfortune does not invalidate your feelings. It's not a competition; people should be able to express how they are feeling without someone else saying "well I have it worse so you shouldn't feel XYZ".

My son hated sleep from the day he was born. He doesn't sleep through at 2 1/2 yet so if I'm lucky I get 4 hours at a time. I work full time because I'm the highest wage earner. Not a gripe, just the situation I'm in. At points I've been so exhausted I considered causing myself an accident so I'd have to be admitted to hospital. Telling me to "treasure every moment" doesn't change the fact that I'm absolutely bloody knackered.

Of course people who have encountered tragedy have my sympathy and there will be a wealth of feelings they have to deal with but they don't have the monopoly on them.

Nquartz · 14/01/2017 08:23

It definitely does suck at times, me & DH have to tag team at the weekends otherwise we'd all go mad!
The lack of sleep makes everything a million times worse for everyone, we got a lie in today until 6.45am so we've had 1.5 hours before the whinging started, think that's some kind of record in this house!
I do like having a cheeky nap on the sofa with DD while she watches a film, maybe try that later!

KathArtic · 14/01/2017 08:30

Flowers cake Flowers RollOn

On the flip side, they do grow up to be extremely useful at working the TV remote/Laptop/mobile/gadget, reaching high things and carrying heavy objects. They'll tell you who all the new bands are, what bloggers do and who everyone is in the BB House Grin

jammyjay · 14/01/2017 08:31

I had to bite my tongue when my DP called by DD selfish this morning as she wanted her porridge and it was 7.03am! Hmm
She's two! Grin