Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

WIBU to not take my son to church??

108 replies

deelli · 12/01/2017 18:18

DS is 11 and has decided he wants to start going to church. WIBU to say I won't go? I'm an atheist and wouldn't want to 'support' a particular religion.

OP posts:
AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 12/01/2017 22:58

I took DS when at a similar age he decided he wanted to go to church. I was very open with the vicar and she was great - I told her that I was an atheist and she hasn't tried to convert me! I do like the ritual and sense of community that goes with church even if I see God as an imaginary friend.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 23:00

EastMidsMummy

How about you stop being a deliberately GF.

EastMidsMummy · 12/01/2017 23:02

How about you mind your own business?

PurpleDaisies · 12/01/2017 23:03

If God wants him to go, he'll go, whatever the OP does. Why does she have to take him?

Presumably the op's son needs a lift. The op doesn't have to stay with him.

Puremince · 12/01/2017 23:04

Where does the OP say that he's been having hallucinations? He's interested in finding out more about church.

The reason for going to church is, of course, to learn about faith, but it can also be a good experience for kids who e.g. play an instrument and get the opportunity to be part of a music group. Our kids have enjoyed taking part in drama groups at our church. It has also helped make them confident at public speaking, as they have been on the rota to do the Bible reading. My daughter helped run a monthly Fair Trade stall when she was eleven; she loved that aspect of church. (The services themselves, not so much!)

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 23:08

How about you mind your own business?

You are being deliberately rude.

You don't believe. I think we get the message. Others do maybe respect their choice.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 23:08

Where does the OP say that he's been having hallucinations?

They don't.

EastMidsMummy · 12/01/2017 23:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

EastMidsMummy · 12/01/2017 23:10

You are being deliberately rude.

Didn't you just call me a goady fucker?

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 12/01/2017 23:12

Let him go. I asked at a similar age. My atheist mum used to drive me there, then sit in the car outside reading the news of the world. I thought she was being kind/supportive at the time; now I realise it was probably the most peaceful 90 mins of her week!

Northernlurker · 12/01/2017 23:13

You are goading and you are being deliberately offensive Eastmids mummy. Pointing that out isn't rude. It's an accurate description of your unpleasant behaviour.

EastMidsMummy · 12/01/2017 23:14

Calling someone a fucker is unquestionably rude.

And not very Christian.

egginacup · 12/01/2017 23:15

I'm an atheist, but I would take my DC if they wanted to go. Chances are he'll get bored after a few weeks! I wouldn't send him on his own though in case they brainwash him

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 23:15

And not very Christian.

Good job I'might not a Christian then.

AGBforever · 12/01/2017 23:15

I had a similar but opposite situation to alltouchedout in that my parents were v religious but totally supportive of my desire to have nothing to do with any of it in my teens. I have since come back to Christianity albeit a very different denomination and really appreciate their stance.

BestZebbie · 12/01/2017 23:15

You could try a Quaker meeting if you want to go with him for supervision - it is explicitly not actually required that you be Christian to attend, mostly you sit quietly with others and think and occasionally someone is moved to share their thoughts with the group. All very respectful but still spiritual.
If he has a specific thing he is wanting to share he might open up more without you there, maybe, if it makes him feel self-conscious?

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 12/01/2017 23:16

*I'm

EastMidsMummy · 12/01/2017 23:16

Good job I'might not a Christian then.

Have you been drinking?

BlackeyedSusan · 12/01/2017 23:20

trya couple to see which one he likes and if they have a decent youth group if you want to be able to drop him off and not go in.

crazywriter · 12/01/2017 23:21

Not RTFT but YABU not to respect his wishes. We take our girls to church but the minute they tell us they don't want to go well respect that.

BertrandRussell · 12/01/2017 23:21

I would let him go. But I would certainly sit at the back and listen until I was sure that I knew what he was being told...........

FreshHorizons · 13/01/2017 07:52

I don't see why you need to go if he is that age- drop him off and pick him up afterwards. I know that a local vicar took himself off to church aged 12 because he wanted to go and his parents were atheists. (I don't think many 11yr olds will actually become vicars from the visit!)

Niskayuna · 13/01/2017 07:54

Why can't he walk?

I would not attend church, I'm an atheist.

If he's so curious I'm sure there's one he can walk to.

I'd be very curious as to where he's gotten the idea from, though.

FreshHorizons · 13/01/2017 08:05

I can't see the fuss. I took my children to church- they wanted to stop going when they were about 8 yrs old so they stopped going- not a big deal.
DS 3 decided to go to another church with a friend when he was about 11yrs- I think he went twice and hasn't been since.

FreshHorizons · 13/01/2017 08:07

They will make up their own mind eventually anyway-as you did.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.