AIBU to think an 18 yo shouldn't find a just turned 14 yo 'hot'?

[samuelsdw]

Just that.

"Hot" no longer means "pwoar" for teens though, OP. I don't think this is a sexual advance on her part, just a kind compliment.

I agree that the younger ones use it as just something to say to each other, and comment on pics. But the 18yo - really? Unless she's very emotionally immature, it's not a normal thing to do. I'm not much older than her, I was at school not that long ago and writing 'hot' under a lad's photo would have been really cringey and embarrassing!

Maybe it is all a joke, saying that. I don't know though, as I said before my school friend was definitely targeted by a very emotionally immature 18yo girl when we were in year 9.

"hot" is a total throwaway comment on social media these days

Really its not worth getting your knickers in a bunch over.

I think your ds is overegging this and probably loving it.

Maybe she is emotionally immature. That's none of the OPs business surely?

Maybe she is emotionally immature. That's none of the OPs business surely?

Well, no - until it affects her son. And if the girl in question is just being sweet then it doesn't, but if she's a) taking the piss or b) coming on to him, then it does.

I'm not saying I think OP should - or can - do anything about it. I just get why she feels a bit uncomfortable.

Omg report a girl commenting hot in FB to a guy?
Good luck with that. Your son will never live it down.

Well, it's 3 letters to type as opposed to....

Unless more happens, then I think it's a non-issue.

I work with a group of apprentices who are fresh out of school - some straight from GCSE's and some straight from sixth form. There is no way any of the 17 or 18 year old girls I work with would call a 14 year old boy 'hot'. It's not that long ago that I was 18 and I would never have made such a comment.

It's one thing recognising that a teenage boy is good looking and will likely grow to be an attractive man - but this adult (even if they are at school still) saying your son is hot is not the same.

If the roles were reversed and an 18 year old male said it to a 14 year old female, I'd be sitting the girl down for a chat about how it is inappropriate and that whilst she might feel flattered, adults should not make these comments about children. So I would be doing the same in this situation too.

Most misleading opening post I've seen in ages.

"Just that"

Well no it's not 'just that' is it?

It turns out to be a reciprocal comment on a photo.

Much like when someone posts a pic of their newborn baby and you feel obliged to say how lovely it looks.

Just social media obligation by the sound of it.

It was just a Facebook comment on a pic, wasn't it? My teen and her girl gang post 'hot' on one another's pics all the time. Simple compliment/friendly comment, they don't want to jump one another's bones

I suspect this girl was just bored on social media.

Probably much more likely she's taking the piss. Pretty common when I was at school for older girls to "flirt" with younger, non developed boys for a laugh.

It's good that he's being open with you. Don't fuck that up by running to the school over one word in person and one word typed on social media
FWIW when I was just-turned 15, I entered into a relationship with a nearly 18 year old guy. He was lovely, a respectful first boyfriend, and we stayed together for over three years. No-one I knew raised an eyebrow over it, and it certainly wasn't unusual. So I don't think flouncing and saying no-one would be saying the same the other way around is entirely true.

My friends ds 14 has a 18 yr old girlfriend.
He is a mature sensible almost 15 yr old.
She is an immature just turned 18 year old.
They've been together for 6 months.

As a parent, especially if was my dd and an 18yo was calling her hot, I would probably want to hoik bossom and object, but it's ridiculous double standards because when I was 14 I had an 18 year old boyfriend, who I'm pretty sure found me attractive....

None of you would be saying this if it was the other way around. So typical.

I believe the very first comment did.

I think you're getting a hard time on here op. I wouldn't be happy with an 18yr old man commenting 'hot' on the photo of my pre-pubescent daughter. It could be a throwaway comment, it could be inappropriate or it could be her taking the piss. Whichever it is I thin you're right to be keeping an eye on things. And maybe a general chat during assembly about appropriate conduct on social media and the fact that some pupils are adults and some are children might be enough to make the girl think without embarrassing anyone unnecessarily.

Actually at a concert last year, me and my 13 year old DS bumped into the mother of one of the sixth formers, she was about my age and she said to my son, “If only I were twenty years younger. “ My thought was “You’d be on the sex offenders register.” I can imagine the consequences if I (48 year old male) said it about a 13 year old girl.

Puts the 18 year old and the 14 year old in perspective though.

It's a throwaway comment, I'd say the same whichever way the sexes were.

Oh lord, I think I put the heart eyes emoji as a comment to my friend's picture of her five year old the other day. Goodness knows what that makes me [probably a middle-aged woman who doesn't quite understand the nuances of emojis]

Total over reaction. "Hot" is meant as a compliment to younger people when they use it. You are reading far too much into this

January is right.

Liiinoo

You say 4 years isn't that big a gap, then use a 31 year old being with a 27 year old as an example.

Of course the older you get the less the gap matters, but this is an 18 year old and a 14 year old.

In your example, both are adults and have been adults for many years. In the ops situation, one is an adult the other is a child.

There is a huge difference between an 18 year old and A 14 year old. Not so much between a 31 and 27 year old

The reason why is blatantly obvious and doesn't need explaining.

OVER-REACTION!!

"Hot" means "looking good". This is how teens talk. And when a girl comments on another girl's post "I love you!", it doesn't mean that either one is lesbian. You ppl need to calm down.

Also, people don't necessarily go blind when they turn 18. For example, I KNOW that dd1's 16yo boyfriend is HOT HOT HOT... cuz I can see!