To ask what you have learned about yourself by being on Mumsnet?

[LauderSyme]

I've learned that

• I am a gullible fool (or if being kind, I always want to see the best in people )
• I am a lot more authoritarian than I thought. I always believed I was pretty liberal, but have realised that I put a lot of faith in rules and think people should abide by them and reap the consequences if they don't.

Am sure there's more but these are the two things that have struck me most. How about you?

Another one here who benefited higely from hearing others' experiences of narcissistic mothers. The moment when three posters simultaneously replied to me with "That's not your problem, it's her's" to some drama she was brewing, was genuinely life-changing.

As someone without DC (am pregnant with first), I learnt that I was incredibly judgy about other people's parenting. I think I've now calmed down on the "My child will never [use a dummy/wear Nike/have a tantrum/eat fruit shoots]" stuff.

I don't know where I fit in feminism. I consider myself a radical feminism, but sit on the fence regarding the trans debate.

Unlike a certain other forum I could mention (which told me I'd be a drain on the state and had no right to continue studying), Mumsnet helped me realise that I could cope as a parent at 19 and finish my degree on time.

I have ADHD.

That standing by and watching racism, sexism, homophobia, disablism etc take place is just as bad as taking part yourself.

I've learned just a fraction of what parents of children with SEN go through every day from reading threads on here, and I have so much respect for them.

We are ridiculously low-income compared to the majority of MN, but as a family we don't seem to have as much angst as the higher-income families on here. It's weird.

I have also learned that Mumsnet, like the rest of the world, has a large population of arrogant, obnoxious arseholes who have no interest in debate and will steamroller over anyone else's views.

Thankfully, I have also learned that Mumsnet (again, like the rest of the world) is a place for reasonable debate, support and loveliness, and I wouldn't have coped three years ago as a scared, pregnant young woman, without MN's support.

That I'm a slattern compared to many on here...

I have an amazingly lovely MIL. But I knew that already. I've just learnt to appreciate her after reading all the horror stories.

I know nothing about feminism and it's all a bit scary and militant!

Never knew how big a thing trans gender was

I have the most amazing sister in law, who has been a major asset to my family and greatly improved DB!

Meeting strange people off the interweb can sometimes be a life improving exercise!

I have learned that my relaxed attitude to the DC using phones/computers/consoles is much rarer than I had originally thought.

And that my DC seem to go to bed later than everyone elses.

Thank you everybody, lots of what you've said has chimed with me

My correct bra size

That I actually quite enjoy spoiling for a fight and I'm not quite as nice as I like to think I am!

Also, I always considered myself a proud feminist, but have realised I'm not at all by MN standards (especially on trans issues). Which is a shame, because I think alienating women from feminism is far more damaging to the cause than anything else.

Likewise, I always thought I was more hygiene-aware than average, but nope, I'm apparently a total germ-ridden slob compared to the majority of MN.

Loads of things- mostly relationships which has really helped me think about my family and work situations more clearly. Also FWR has opened my eyes.

Those are the bits of MN I hang about on now rather than the pregnancy and baby/child stuff that first got me in.

Some of the practical advice I've had has been totally lifesaving- school admissions etc.

If I'd known about mumsnet before I had children I probably wouldn't have had them. Parenting is hard and mumsnet tells it like it is.

The worst thing was that it seems that MILs are the enemy and we are all out to undermine our DS and DDILs relationships (and steal the DGCs if we can..) but I like mine and think I am liked as being both a DIL and a MIL myself)

The best things were discovering the existance of YNAB and the Frugal threads which have completely changed my finances and helped me pay off all my debt/mortgage and now have savings .

The 5:2 diet

How to put bed linen away ( all duvet and sheets etc in the pillowcase, )
Rolling up T shirts etc (Kondo style) to make more space in drawers , and The petrol cap arrow! - All totally Revelationary!

All of these things have changed my life) as has also the existance of S&B oards band of Hush, which may have meant I didnt pay off the debt as fast as I could have

Oh, and that I am very fortunate in my DH..

Actually now I come to post that I see that wasnt the question...

That I am a bit dim?

I am very lucky to have a kind, patient, considerate and affectionate DH and I need to appreciate him more

I am far too laid back with DS and his console, TV and mobile phone use but that works for us so everyone is different

I'm quite common despite the posh school I went to

That people really do have nannies and au pairs in real life, despite me not knowing anyone with one

I'm a bad mother for sending DS to nursery at 3 months old and being delighted to have child free nights out and holidays all of his life

I have learned I am very lucky (basically life is good and I should be very grateful for what I have compared to many). A few people are very sensible and give a good viewpoint and one I may not have considered - though seems I am a slut re not washing sheets once a week! My favourite thread led to what is my now favourite fantasy life - which I try to do for real - which is just trying to impart words of wisdom and making everything a little better (or at least not worse!) if I can.

Love the many 'appreciating the dh' posts.

That as a MIL I will never get it right..I will offend in the most innocuous ways..

That I'm not necessarily going to be comfortable in feminist spaces and would probably prefer to not call myself a feminist anymore. Hated my time (under another username) on the MN feminist boards.

That I'm ridiculously lax about a lot of things - it never even occurred to me until coming here that so many people cared so much about what randoms do - e.g. - pajamas as day wear, what you wear on the school run, how you cook for your family etc.

I've realised I have more than almost 99% of people on here including a wonderful childhood, travel, work and colleagues I've loved and enjoyed, a great education, a fantastic home and family, a partner who is kind and honest, money to do what we want and have our dream smallholding, no stress in my work etc. Fundamentally I'm happy. This forum highlight to me regularly how happy I am.

I've also discovered that I'm more pro trans than I realised. I hadn't thought about it before but the treads on here make my heart sink and sometimes my soul cry.

I'm very thick skinned. Many v sensitive people on MN.

I'm very fortunate not to suffer from mental illness.

I'm not nearly as clever as I thought I was. Many v articulate and well read people on MN, much better than me at making a point.

I'm fortunate to have a lovely DH who is sometimes a PITA but for the most part is a very good person.

I'm actually quite nosey and find it fascinating to peek into people's lives via the various threads and discussions here.

I finally understand why I struggle to make friends.

My DC are happy, healthy and loved, which is the best foundation in life I can give them. Everything else is gravy.

That abuse can come in different forms not just physical I wish I had found this site 8 years ago I would left ex fair sooner

That my H was abusive

That lots of people are very mean