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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you have learned about yourself by being on Mumsnet?

135 replies

LauderSyme · 09/01/2017 00:22

I've learned that

  • I am a gullible fool (or if being kind, I always want to see the best in people Wink)
  • I am a lot more authoritarian than I thought. I always believed I was pretty liberal, but have realised that I put a lot of faith in rules and think people should abide by them and reap the consequences if they don't.

Am sure there's more but these are the two things that have struck me most. How about you?

OP posts:
ToEarlyForDecorations · 09/01/2017 13:26

I'm a liberal authoritarian as well as it turns out, stick to the rules, share, be nice, do as you would be done by. Or fuck off.

This ^

FairNotFair · 09/01/2017 13:29

That I am really nothing special Grin

SirChenjin · 09/01/2017 13:33

That our pretty decent joint income is nowhere near enough (judging by the recent 'where are you going on holiday' thread - bloody hell Shock)

I am pretty judgey and don't tolerate what I consider to be bad behaviour/inconsideration for others (although this doesn't really bother me)

My definition of feminism is very wrong and I know Nothing.

I don't push my kids hard enough academically (I literally have no idea what reading group my kids are/were in)

That life is often not what you make it but more to do with the hand you've been dealt.

That I am very lucky to be healthy (and have a family who are healthy).

mypropertea · 09/01/2017 13:38

IABU

SittingAround1 · 09/01/2017 13:39

That my life is relatively easy compared to a lot of people's.

That I have a really good DH - I've been shocked by what some posters put up with from their partners.

normastits5 · 09/01/2017 14:08

That MN should be the first place to go to for advice on absolutely anything, before friends family colleagues, because everyone is so bloody honest (blunt) . Wish I had found you years ago

GiantHulkHands · 09/01/2017 14:11

It's helped me understand that it's okay to say no, to stick up for myself and to ride out a silence.

derxa · 09/01/2017 14:11

That I've been very lucky. That my DH is brilliant. That my rural upbringing was a godsend. That people think I'm old in my late 50's. That MILs are mainly evil. That baby boomers are all evil. That I don't know anything about bringing up children even though I have two. That big white weddings are the work of the devil.
That I'm a judgy old cow Wink

Eolian · 09/01/2017 14:19

I've learned that:

I am a bit unusual and very lucky because I had a safe, happy childhood and have never experienced abuse, rape or sexual assault.

I spend a lot less money on holidays, presents, clothes and personal grooming than people of a similar level of income to me.

I have reasonably good general knowledge (judging by the fact that I already know the facts on the hilarious 'What did you recently find out which everyone else apparently already knew' threads).

I am a bit of a slattern and a lot less bothered by a bit of dirt or bacteria than many MNers.

I have an unproblematic relationship with Facebook compared with a lot of people.

I was an idiot not to have a better understanding of feminism until fairly recently.

Katy07 · 09/01/2017 14:22

That I'm not the only one who doesn't want to take parcels in for neighbours :)
That when people press my buttons I react more strongly than I thought Blush
And it's confirmed that I'm very black & white (a zebra in a previous life?!) when sometimes I should remember that it's not always quite that simple.

Katy07 · 09/01/2017 14:23

And that I'm not the only adult who buys themselves Lego Grin
(that really made me feel good)

Fantasticmissfoxy · 09/01/2017 14:26
  1. That I don't change my bedding or towels nearly as often as apparently I need to
  2. The wonders of zoflora
  3. That my DH is actually rather wonderful
  4. That trans activism is a thing
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 09/01/2017 14:27

what emotional abuse is
that I am actually quite right wing!

DontTouchTheMoustache · 09/01/2017 14:32

It has massively broadened my mind about many issues, particularly things like living with disability and the prejudices disabled people face. It's not that I didn't care before but just that neither myself or people in my family/friendship groups don't suffer from disability so it's simply not something I ever had any experience of. It's made me alot more aware of how I act in that respect.
It's also been great in making me take a step back and thinking about how I'm acting in emotive situations. In the past I would have a very emotional response to situations and not take in the other persons feelings as much as I should. I then think about posting here and then think "hang on, they will flame me for this because of x,you and z" and then I realise that I am actually being quite unreasonable.

LurkingManOnMN · 09/01/2017 14:39

That by reading the advise on here, my wife should have left me along time ago. Which is odd as I'm actually a very nice person.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 09/01/2017 14:42

That if someone invites you to supper they do not mean for you to come around in pjs and slippers. I still haven't had chance to put that knowledge to use because all my friends are as common as I am.

BeachyKeen · 09/01/2017 14:49

I learned that I am a lot ruder, and more direct them most, but also happier. I am pushy, but have really strong friendships.

I have been very fortunate in my choice of partner.

I allowed a lot more freedom to my DC at a lot younger ages.

I learned about why people would choose to have religious education in school, and why they wear uniforms in the UK. I still know I prefer no uniforms, and complete separation of church and state, but at least now I understand the other side of it.

I "wild" swim. Until mumsnet I didn't know there was a distinction. [Grin] Over here we just call it swimming, weather you are in a river, pond, lake, ocean or pool.

LunaLoveg00d · 09/01/2017 14:54

MN has taught my that Caster Semenya winning the women's 800m and Caitlyn Jenner being voted woman of the year is not progressive and is a bad thing for women.

notfromstepford · 09/01/2017 15:16

That it's OK not to love your mother, that my mother is a narcissist and that my childhood was far from OK.
This knowledge has helped me over a period of time to come to terms with something I can't change and given me the confidence to know that I am and will always be a great mother to my boys.

CancellyMcChequeface · 09/01/2017 15:42

That I'm not the only woman my age who has much more in common with second- than third-wave feminists.

That I'm actually quite unusual in being a rule-questioning libertarian, especially with regard to what children should or shouldn't do, and school issues.

That prosecco is nice. (I'd never had it before and decided to try it solely due to the repeated mentions on MN).

IvorHughJarrs · 09/01/2017 19:18

Isn't it nice how many of us have been educated for the better on here? Flowers to all

terrythetrex · 09/01/2017 20:49

That I frankly can't get worked up about a lot of things that people are disgusted at.

That I am a lot more level headed than u thought.

My dh is a star.

That I am a lazy bugger, the things people do on here is amazing

noschooll4mee · 09/01/2017 20:57

That I must have been really annoying other motorists by letting others out of junctions... all the while thinking I was being considerate .Hmm
That other people can, and do , think of an excuse for any shocking behaviour for those around... apparently you should never judge . Hah

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 09/01/2017 21:00

I realised that I'm lovely, clever and have more common sense than the whole of AIBU.

ApocalypseNowt · 09/01/2017 21:04

Honestly the first thing that popped into my head reading the OP was..

I have learned I was a dickhead for using disabled loos. I used to do it fairly often, my thinking being I'll only be quick or i'm just cutting down the queue for the other loo. I didn't think about people needing to use the loo quickly or just that that toilet wasn't for me.

Anyway since reading the many disable loo, etc threads I don't do it anymore and I'm genuinely sorry I ever did.