To ask how you refer to your DD's vulva?

[Lalunya85]

I'm not sure if this has been done a million times before but here's my dilemma:

We speak three languages at home (including English, but it's neither my DH nor my mother tongue). In all of those languages, there are plenty of nice/cute/child appropriate ways to refer to ours son's penis.

Now my DD (15 months) has begun to show an interest in her genitals. But she is pointing at them and then uses the word that we use for our son's penis. I want to offer her a nice name that is neither technical, nor has been sexualised or turned into an insult.

None if our languages offers a solution.

Any ideas??

While working in healthcare I was always astounded by adults referring to their vulva/vagina as their front bottom/fairy/flower/etc. Some just said "down there" & I had one colleague who'd say "down where? Your feet?".

My parents had friends who taught their kids to say BM for poo as well. It stood for bowel movement. They were actually quite a laugh and I've never known whether they were just taking the piss.

waffles is my vulva championing hero!

But I have a boy- and the patriarchy take less issue with the words "penis" and "testicles"

Coincidentally ... What do those of you with boys have your boys call their testicles? Balls? Nads? Surely that doesn't sound particularly pleasingly delicate to you either??

We also use vulva and penis. DD is 3. Drove me mad when she started using willy and front bottom (from other kids) so taught her the correct terms.

Family are aghast :-)

Always said 'crotch' . Accurate and simple.

I think twee names a frankly ridiculous. Why would you teach your children the wrong name for something?

It's bizarre that some people call their dd's genitals their bottoms or 'front bums'. Boys aren't taught to ignore their genitals, that there's nothing there but a continuation of their arse...

I'm still laughing at Fluffypigs comment and the description of the vagina accepting the male penis

Use nicknames all you like, but children and adults need to know the correct names for the different parts of their anatomy.

I'd never heard of a minnie, foo foo, fairy or tuppence until on-line in places like this. If a friend had told me they had a 'sore minnie' I wouldn't have had a clue what they meant. I helped out a toddler groups and very regularly in the early years at school (more than weekly). The more I read these threads the more I wonder how many times girls were talking about their bits and I had no idea.

If you use these twee euphemisms because you are embarrassed by fact, you need to know that you will not be understood by everyone you talk to.
It's fine in the case of willy, as that's so widespread in Britain virtually everyone knows what it means. But a fairy or a strawberry? Not at all. Private parts, girly bits, and front bottom may be a bit euphemistic but at least they are descriptive enough for the meaning to be clear.

Mind you, one of my boys came chortling through to me recently, saying "Mummy, LittleSnork thinks penis is a rude word!" LittleSnork was following him, looking horrified. I explained that calling someone 'A penis' wasn't polite, but describing his anatomy was accurate. And the little buggers have rejected testicles in favour of the hideous 'gentlemen's vegetables'. I've given up and called them bollocks .

My DDs call them 'bits' as a short cut for general area, but we have nursing degree level A&P books in the house and look up correct terms too. We use vulva, urethra, vagina and anus as well as bits, wee-hole, baby-hole and poo-hole.

Boys have willies, but also penis and scrotum containing testicles. I don't use balls except when explaining that testicular implants look like exactly like ping-pong balls.

DD1 (nearly 8) Has a very detailed anatomy and physiology colouring book, with all the correct terms. The reproductive anatomy pages have not been edited by me. She's got a solid understanding of the mechanics of sex, creating hilarious yet cringe-worthy questions about exactly what the ostriches were doing at the zoo. In a loud voice. About 'dripping'. And yes I did drag her off to one side and explain about semen. Quietly. And we looked up meiosis when we got home.

Maybe 15 years as a HCP has made correct anatomical terms the right way to go with this. But you really can't go wrong with medical terminology. I had a friend wince at me using vulva in conversation a week ago. Apparently any number of weird nicknames would be better. 'Vag' was one. I despair.

I completely agree with the people saying that there's no difference in using a 'cutesy' name for vulva/penis and using poo/wee/tummy etc.

The Undercarriage

Boys have willies. Girls have wilmas!

We have always used vulva, and other actual terms. There is a safeguarding importance in teaching your children the proper anatomical words for their genitals (not sexualised, simply names!), rather than using twee euphemisms.

This.

This is all making me think of Voldemort/
You-Know-Who!

I've just sat and thought about all this, I use loads of slang terms for things but it feels weird using them for my - don't have a word that quite feels right - (also don't know how to unbold accidentally bolded words!) for me personally. So I guess my lesson here is - whatever word you chose, stick with it!! I grew up with the words fanny, vagina, lady bits, privates, front bum, and many more, although I always knew boys had willies and later learned the real word was penis.

I still don't know the proper words for stuff really but I was more worried about fitting in at school than learning that stuff, sadly!

We say bits

Privates or fanny.

Is the Daily Mail reading this thread?

But it is an urban myth that euphemisms are 'bad' in terms of child protection.

Nobody is going to withdraw an accusation just because the witness says fairy instead vulva. Snopes it, please.

Nu-ni

But now she is older we just say vagina.

Don't have a daughter. But in conversation with DH/sister/mum would probably say fanny or bits, and have successfully negotiated referrals to hospital and an operation to remove a lump whilst referring to a problem "down below". I don't like the words vulva or vagina, although I don't know why.

Boys have willies, dinkies or cocks, and either balls if talking to DS or bollocks if talking to DH.

I know it might sound strange - but we know what we mean and so it seems do the medical profession.

Vulva here. It is important to use the right word to prevent the cycle of shame that stops women being able to talk about their genitals whenever is necessary. I was surprised to hear some doctors and midwives who couldn't bring themselves to use the proper term. It starts in childhood with all these ridiculous pet names.

aliasjoey the outcome of a case would never be different, but if a child told me she had been touched on her 'minnie' I would have to clarify with child what she meant.

I can't say vulva without thinking about the artist in spaced...

We say willy and bits. They know the correct words so could use them if they needed to.

I think I would die of shame if I had to call out 'Have you wiped your front bottom?' in a public loo

Why would you need to? Have you wiped properly works if you ever felt a burning desire to ask loudly and publically...

Minnie or cha-cha