Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

AIBU to be so fed up and confused on pyjama issue

999 replies

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 19:30

AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand. I shower daily, I wash my clothes if they are used/unclean. When I get up I get dressed go about my day, come home and shower and put pyjama pants on until I get into bed. I take them off before bed as I only sleep in my underwear. If I don't have anything to do in the day I'll wake up and put the pyjama pants on because they are comfortable and warm. If I then realise I have to go out and make a run to the store I'll just go like this as I usually have my children (4m and 2y) with me and if not I'm trying to do the shop as fast as I can to get back to them as my DH is not the best with small children and often gets flustered. I am not choosing to wear them out of laziness, I choose to wear them out of comfort. They are clean, I am clean. Nothing inappropriate is exposed. So I don't understand how it is hurting anybody. I don't think it's fair to sit and judge people who chose to wear pyjamas and be comfortable and I don't understand why people are so offended by this?
I'm sure there are a few people that do wear them because they are lazy and slobbish but I don't think it's fair to judge all people that wear them this way.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
mambono5 · 08/01/2017 20:52

mummyof2pr

People have repeatedly explained to you that they are not offended, but why they judge, and given you examples.

You are not looking for an explanation, which you had plenty of, but for other people to agree with you and pat you on the back.

You still haven't told us why you can't buy clothes that fit you and are comfortable? The rest of us manage with every day clothes.

EpoxyResin · 08/01/2017 20:52

Because we have to look at you dressed that way and frankly you bring the local property values down.

I'd rather live where the moral values were high than the property values, ta.

Queenie04 · 08/01/2017 20:52

To not make the transition from night wear to day wear is lazy and slobbish. At home once showered I wear cleaning leggings or any old thing but definitely not night wear. Anyway each to their own

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 20:52

@bravo hmmm I don't think so and again a shit explanation and I still don't see how it does you any harm. Would you like to try again?

OP posts:
FizzBombBathTime · 08/01/2017 20:53

Epoxy op got berated for badly worded comments previously, yet other posters are allowed to jibe about the op's marriage, despite it having nothing to do with the initial arguement? Lovely eh.

tigerdriverII · 08/01/2017 20:53

Said this on one of the other thread s, but WHAT DO YOU ALL MEAN BY PYJAMAS? STRIPEY FLANNEL JOBS OR TRACKY BOTTOMS AND A T SHIRT?

And breathe

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2017 20:53

No one is attacking you, you asked what the big deal was on people going shopping in their pyjamas and why people were judged, now you're throwing your toys out the pram because you're getting the exact same answers as have been given on every single thread on this . You know exactly why.

In additon you made a horrid comment on women who scantily dress. Then told everyone your husband can't look after the kids for two mins as he struggles.

It's madness,,,madness I tell you, 😂

CaraAspen · 08/01/2017 20:54

Everybody judges! Some of you are a hoot.
Go on - do tell. Who do you judge? The OP judges women who dress in what she considers to be a tarty manner.

Well???

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 20:55

@blunt yes they are attacking myself and my family if you read through.
It is one thing to judge silently but to publicly attack people you don't know based on something like this is ridiculous.
And @cara if you read through the comments that has been addressed and was a misunderstanding between cultural terms.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 08/01/2017 20:56

I wasn't just refering to this thread.

But for what its worth, I think wearing pyjamas out is lazy, and denotes a complete lack of self esteem. I have no wish to see what most people sleep in when they are too bloody lazy to wear proper clothes and all the other reasons listed above.

Why does it offend me? Actually it doesn't. I feel pity for people who haven't got enough pride in their appearence to spend 2 minutes on their personal grooming to actually manage to dress themselves. If you can't manage that small task, you must be fucked.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 08/01/2017 20:56

OP, as I see it you have two choices; either you stop judgemental people from judging you by not doing the thing they judge, or you can just not care if they judge or not. You are very unlikely to persuade them not to judge.

Instead of thinking about why it matters to them what you wear, perhaps you should think about why you care what they think?

I don't care what you wear, BTW, just suggesting a calmer, less stressful way.

Euripidesralph · 08/01/2017 20:57

I do think there's an issue here with people being overly judgemental

Personally I wouldn't wear pyjamas out of the house (barrie the odd occasion of nipping to the car on the drive to retrieve the apparently only toy my 4year old ds1 could possibly play with out of his 54667 other toys Hmm) and I personally wouldn't ever wear them to a supermarket

But ultimately it's got no effect on me whatsoever if others do , someone mentioned up thread about people going in Fresh from a run which I do....I run to the shop stop to get something and run home...if someone judged me for that I'd probably wet myself laughing (then I would be unhygienic I admit after wetting myself)

I do consider judgement on appearance the most puerile vapid use of brainpower so ultimately personal choice is fine , judging others on a silly thing is not

Basically you do you and I'll do me

FizzBombBathTime · 08/01/2017 20:57

Op seriously, they're not going to leave that now. You could apologise until you're blue in the face and they would still bring it up. But everyone is still allowed to be really bitchy about your marriage when you didn't even ask for an opinion on it. And call you slob/low rent/down market etc. Lovely!!!

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 08/01/2017 20:58

If I was wearing a bra or a crop top and a mini skirt then I would be dressing like a tramp

lost all respect for OP with that comment. At least if you wore a bra or crop top/mini skirt you'd look like you made an effort

Yes, me too. Her arguments on the other thread were incoherent and on her TAAT are even worse.

Her attempt to explain why she assumed "tramp" meant "slut" are a perfect example of someone not knowing when to stop digging when they are in a hole.

Just in case she doesn't get it:-

  1. Wearing a mini- skirt does not make anyone a "tramp" or a "slut"
  1. No woman should ever be called a "slut". Ever.
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 20:59

@fizz oh well, says a lot more about them than it does about me that they need to attack others and judge them to make their point!

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 08/01/2017 20:59

" But convention matters.

Humans make rules that govern behavior. (Actually, all species do; ours are simply more numerous and elaborate.) Without those rules, we’d have not only anarchy, but shorter, less pleasant, more dangerous lives.

One of the ways we transmit signals about how to behave is through dress. If we walk into a room full of men and women in formal attire, we don’t start doing jumping jacks or get down on the floor for yoga exercises. We don’t think it odd to see bikinis on the beach, but we would be shocked to see them in the boardroom. Conventions differ between cultures and change over time, but no society, even the most liberal, dispenses with all conventions.

We’ve gone from jeans in the workplace to pajamas at the mall. What’s next? It’s hard to imagine we could become more casual in our attire than we already are, but then I never thought I’d see someone in his jammies at the supermarket.

But wearing pajamas in public isn’t just unconventional — it’s juvenile. It signals that the wearer is not a full-fledged adult. Babies and toddlers wear onesies, so why are we now marketing them to adults? And while it might be OK to see a 3-year-old sitting in the grocery cart in her pajamas, do we really want to see her mother similarly attired? We can excuse the child for not changing his clothes before he meets the public, but his parents?

The message the wearer sends is “I’m lazy” — and maybe a tad dirty, too. It’s hard to imagine someone hopping out of bed and into the shower and then back into what he wore to sleep before heading out the door. Or are we to assume that the wearer has drawers and drawers full of freshly laundered PJs for all occasions?"

www.dispatch.com/content/stories/editorials/2013/12/23/wearing-pajamas-in-public-tells-the-world-im-lazy.html
Totally agree.

EpoxyResin · 08/01/2017 20:59

I feel pity for people who haven't got enough pride in their appearence to spend 2 minutes on their personal grooming to actually manage to dress themselves. If you can't manage that small task, you must be fucked.

What very sensitive language when it's clear you understand you're referring to individuals suffering mental health crises. Pity is a wonderful form of stigma. Well done you.

e1y1 · 08/01/2017 20:59

Because the "are the pj's and the wearer clean?" is a smokescreen.

The fact is, it is slobbish. If someone cannot make the effort to switch their pj bottoms for jeans, loose fit trousers or even yoga pants, then it just doesn't come across well.

Each to their own, but I find it slobbish and lazy to see someone going about outside in pj's - we have clothing for a reason.

Loubilou09 · 08/01/2017 20:59

I don't understand why all the pyjama wearers don't just go and buy a black pair of joggers or leggings and just wear those, much easier on their stress levels I would have thought, because as sure as night is day they are never going to convince the majority that it is acceptable. But nope they would rather spend hour upon hour upon hour defending their right to wear their "indoor night wear" outside in the daytime.

Weird Confused

KatharinaRosalie · 08/01/2017 20:59

PJs is nightwear. To be worn in your bedroom, not for socialising. It makes manny people uncomfortable to see someone in their nightwear, when they're not intimately acquainted. Yes it might look pretty similar to jogging bottoms, but it's not. It's like bra and panties is basically a bikini, but most people would not go to beach or pool in their underwear.

FizzBombBathTime · 08/01/2017 21:00

If you can't manage that small task, you must be fucked.

Chipped have you ever considered volunteering for the Samaritans Hmm

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 08/01/2017 21:00

I do consider judgement on appearance the most puerile vapid use of brainpower

I take it you are referring to OP's definition of what a "slut" looks like?

mygorgeousmilo · 08/01/2017 21:02

Biscuit you don't have a pyjama problem although you do really you have a DH problem, if he can't cope with his children while you go to the corner shop!

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 21:02

@lass again already addressed come up with something new

OP posts:
PhilODox · 08/01/2017 21:02

OP: *AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand.*

All Posters: YABU- It's slovenly, makes you look like you're struggling, not done, is a class marker, etc

OP: Oh, but I'm foreign, you're wrong. Why are you judging me?

Confused

Everyone has just explained to you what is wrong with going outdoors in pyjama bottoms in the UK. Why ask if we're still all wrong?