AIBU to be so fed up and confused on pyjama issue

[mummyof2pr]

AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand. I shower daily, I wash my clothes if they are used/unclean. When I get up I get dressed go about my day, come home and shower and put pyjama pants on until I get into bed. I take them off before bed as I only sleep in my underwear. If I don't have anything to do in the day I'll wake up and put the pyjama pants on because they are comfortable and warm. If I then realise I have to go out and make a run to the store I'll just go like this as I usually have my children (4m and 2y) with me and if not I'm trying to do the shop as fast as I can to get back to them as my DH is not the best with small children and often gets flustered. I am not choosing to wear them out of laziness, I choose to wear them out of comfort. They are clean, I am clean. Nothing inappropriate is exposed. So I don't understand how it is hurting anybody. I don't think it's fair to sit and judge people who chose to wear pyjamas and be comfortable and I don't understand why people are so offended by this?
I'm sure there are a few people that do wear them because they are lazy and slobbish but I don't think it's fair to judge all people that wear them this way.

You wouldn't have seen the news story. It appeared in the country I live in (not the UK). I didn't understand why you were referencing the Daily Mail, Mirror, etc.

I was simply remarking that the whole 'pyjamas in public' issue seems to be so current, that it's even making the news (here). And there's a thread or two on here on it every other day at the moment.

I referenced those papers because despite mumset's dim view of such low rent rags, they are frequently linked on here and were linked to on this thread.

Huge lol

Wtf has mumsnet become?!

I love my PJ's! I'll quite happily throw on a pair of pyjama bottoms as soon as I'm in the house and not going anywhere else for the day. They are so comfortable and they almost help me 'unwind' for the day/night. But I have different sets of PJ's - a couple of thicker, baggier bottoms I use for putting on in the house to laze about it, and the others are used strictly for bedtime. I know I (and a lot of others) see nighttime jammies as 'nighttime underwear'. In my house, these get one wear and then washed. I've slept in them, haven't worn any underwear while in them and most of us sweat a little at night. To me, they're no different from underwear. I think a lot of judgement maybe stems from folk thinking people are rolling straight out of bed still wearing clothing that they slept in. Which is a bit grim, imo. Obviously this isn't always the case, but PJ's are seen as nighttime clothes, so I don't think you can really blame people for making the perfectly logical assumption that you haven't bothered to change out of your bed clothes.

I would personally never wear my PJ's outside of the house. It takes 2 minutes to throw on a pair of jeans/joggers/leggings and I do think staying in PJ bottoms while running errands, etc. is the height of laziness. I'm not offended by it and I don't really judge people who do it, but I don't particularly understand the mentality. It just seems ever so...slobbish. There is a small group of mums who drop their kids off in the morning at DD's school who always show up wearing their PJ's. You could say these women show many 'class' indicators. I don't necessarily see wearing PJ bottoms out of the house as a class thing though. I just see it as a lazy thing. I don't think it's a good habit to teach children.

I think it's a topic you need to accept is simply never going to be agreed upon, OP. People will always see things differently and form their own opinions. Some will be bothered by it, some won't. Would I be clutching my pearls if I saw you knocking around Morrisons wearing pyjamas? Of course not. Do whatever you want. It's no skin off my nose. I might spare a fleeting thought on how lazy it was, but I'd soon get on with my day While it's your choice and you are free to make it, you need to understand that you cannot simply demand total acceptance of it. You can't force people to 'approve' if they don't. Do what you want and shrug it off. If you're comfortable and happy, does it really matter what anyone else thinks?

Vino, the voice of reason 👏🏻

@vino don't expect anyone to change opinions. I'm just simply replying to posts that ask me questions or address me at this point

Why not wear comfy loose fluffy lined tracksuit bottoms - less ridiculous than going outside in sleepwear, and a much better example to your kids about what is appropriate dressing for the occasion. We've had parents rocking up to schools in sleepwear, going down supermarket aisles in PJ's and dressing gowns..........can't wait for the next attention seeking lazy slob to turn up at a restaurant, wedding or funeral in nightclothes.........

On Christmas Day me and my dds went ice skating as this is what we love to do and once there we all put our onesies on (snowman and snowdog for the kids and mine gorgeous marks and Spencer's one) they are warm good for falling over in we all had jeans underneath. No one seemed to judge I see people often skating in onesies. I wonder if this is where it all started when daytime onesie started to be something fashionable that people could wear ? Or was it when Alfie Moon started wearing his dressing gown in EastEnders to the shop in the morning to buy milk. Anyway I will continue to wear my pyjamas I wear occasionally for a night shift and if I feel like it I will keep them on for a school run before going home to bed which is no ones business. Also I do wear knickers under my pyjama bottoms I don't know if this makes a difference ? The loungewear is all mixed in with the pyjama section in Sainsburys now I love it all what ever is comfortable. Absolutely no problem with my hygiene ta. Live and let live

@tap rude and unnecessary at this point in the thread. But thank you for providing your opinion.

I haven't read all the comments since last night, but just wanted to post this before I have to go out.

Someone upthread mentions students nipping out to the supermarket - I have two of those students! Both have been to the supermarket in onsies, during the hours of daylight. And yes, I have told them I think it is manky to go out in something they sleep in.

Ds2 will have boggled the denizens of his bit of Edinburgh with his santa onsie, with long blue shorts pulled on over the top. I have seen this outfit - and I judged, and laughed my arse off.

In seriousness, though - because the supermarket-going, nightwear-wearing people I know (that huge statistical sample of 2) get up out of bed and go to the shop just as they are, I tend to assume that is what people in pjs have done, hence judging.

Also, someone mentioned mental illness - I suffer from depression and anxiety (ever since being bullied at school, as I mentioned earlier), and I would know for sure that my depression was worse than it had ever been, if I went out of the house dirty and in nightwear. I deliberately make sure I am clean and properly dressed - it is part of the mask I pull on to disguise my pain.

Op, enjoy wearing your magical comfy pyjamas to Tescos. You will be judged as lazy and slovenly by many who see you, just as you indicated you personally judge women in short skirts and crop tops to be sluts.

Yup, exactly.

I don't see how they OP can get upset about people judging her attire but still happily judges other people's.

I used to go jogging in a sports bra and running bottoms (in summer. And used to because I was heavily pregnant last summer). The OP may have judged me harshly for exposing things 'children shouldn't be exposed to' (skin?) or being slutty.

Do I particularly enjoy that? No. but it's her right and I ultimately don't care.
If the OP is really this relaxed about social norms (like day wear and bed wear) she should maybe also be relaxed about being judged?

@1horat I've said numerous times that it's the extreme and harsh public judgements.
And stop with the "slut" comment. That has been amended and apologised for. Let it go.

horatio I would certainly judge you for wearing a bra and nothing over the top outside. That is skanky IMO.

I wasn't wearing a bra and nothing. A sports bra and running bottoms. Whilst jogging.

As you see, I think it's perfectly acceptable to do so. I used to wear that in the fitness center, running (only when it was very hot), training and when competing.

Why? Because my own comfort outweighed the risk of being judged. I knew that some people would find it absolutely unacceptable and I wouldnt have started a thread complaining about it. That's the difference.

Wearing pyjamas to the supermarket !!?? What on earth has happened to standards. Do people not have any pride in themselves anymore

I know you were wearing trousers, I meant a top over the bra. Yes that is unacceptable. But yeah you get on with it its your right eh.

@1horat point is, yes people can find it unacceptable, but to fully tear someone you don't know apart based on something like that is incredibly rude and I think that sets a worse example for children. We should be teaching our children to treat others with kindness and respect, you never know what others are going through and their specific situation.

To me pyjamas are for relaxing in at home. Jogging bottoms, yoga pants etc are acceptable for being out and about. I don't consider myself to be hugely uptight, but it just feels a bit wrong to me, in the same way I wouldn't go out without brushing my hair. I look a bit thrown together some days (I have a one year old) but to me it's important to feel appropriately dressed!

We all judge others but the difference is saying anything about it to them. Yes I would probably think something lazy about someone if I seen them in Tesco in their PJs - probably more dressing gown to be honest but I would never dream of saying anything to them. Ive came to learn that we cant control what others think of us in life, and not to let it effect me.

Exactly. Imo jogging in clothes like this is perfectly acceptable. But putting on a shirt would take... 30 seconds? Putting on some jeans instead of pyjamas wouldn't take much longer.
So, let's not pretend like we are anything else than lazy. (Or, in my case, really not keen on feeling too hot in a clammy, sweat through shirt that ends up sticky anyway... urgh. It luckily isn't this hot very often in the UK!)

"BastardGoDarkly

Is your full name mummyof2pyjamarama ?"

Haha. Certainly it has become a bit of an obsession.

@1horat I don't think people that are deciding they want to wear their pyjama pants are being lazy in most cases, but to each their own. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

And @cara we get the point you like to start shit. Take it somewhere else no one here is interested. If you would like to make relevant points based on the discussion that haven't already been made feel free.

"Bettercallsaul1

I think everyone here is talking about pyjamas that are being worn blatantly as pyjamas ie matching top and bottom in obvious "pyjama" pattern and fabric. Lots of people are now wearing these in public places. A pair of dark "pyjama" bottoms which are indistinguishable from outerwear such as joggers or leggings is not really relevant, nor the issue being debated here."

To use the word "debated" is hardly relevant when the topic is not exactly weighty...

To fully tear somebody apart?

Not really what happened. It's simply about snap judgements

I would certainly judge you for wearing a bra and nothing over the top outside. That is skanky IMO.

Not sure how this is different than anything that was said about pyjamas in public? Do you also disagree with that or do you only disagree when it's about you own habits?

I personally even stated that 'if that's all I knew about the person' I'd feel.... (already exhausted the topic how I feel about pyjamas in public.)

Whereas this person simply said that this is skanky in her opinion (her right btw), no...'if I didn't know why they were doing it'/'sometimes they're maybe reasons etc...'

For God's sake you're sensitive, OP.

You judge. Others judge. Before you stop judging people for their attire you can't expect that from other people.