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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be so fed up and confused on pyjama issue

999 replies

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 19:30

AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand. I shower daily, I wash my clothes if they are used/unclean. When I get up I get dressed go about my day, come home and shower and put pyjama pants on until I get into bed. I take them off before bed as I only sleep in my underwear. If I don't have anything to do in the day I'll wake up and put the pyjama pants on because they are comfortable and warm. If I then realise I have to go out and make a run to the store I'll just go like this as I usually have my children (4m and 2y) with me and if not I'm trying to do the shop as fast as I can to get back to them as my DH is not the best with small children and often gets flustered. I am not choosing to wear them out of laziness, I choose to wear them out of comfort. They are clean, I am clean. Nothing inappropriate is exposed. So I don't understand how it is hurting anybody. I don't think it's fair to sit and judge people who chose to wear pyjamas and be comfortable and I don't understand why people are so offended by this?
I'm sure there are a few people that do wear them because they are lazy and slobbish but I don't think it's fair to judge all people that wear them this way.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
15
Bettercallsaul1 · 09/01/2017 01:09

I think everyone here is talking about pyjamas that are being worn blatantly as pyjamas ie matching top and bottom in obvious "pyjama" pattern and fabric. Lots of people are now wearing these in public places. A pair of dark "pyjama" bottoms which are indistinguishable from outerwear such as joggers or leggings is not really relevant, nor the issue being debated here.

PickledCauliflower · 09/01/2017 01:17

I plan on going to Morrisons tomorrow wearing gold nipple tassels, a red velvet thong and silver over the knee boots.
If anyone dares as looks in my direction I will post a thread on here moaning about it.

KoalaDownUnder · 09/01/2017 01:20

I don't dress to make others happy, I dress for myself.

Righto. Great. So why the fk do you care if people think you look slobbish going out in public in pyjamas? Confused

You can't have it both ways.

steff13 · 09/01/2017 01:26

Men who parade topless around supermarkets in the summer time.

I haven't RTWT, but this gave me pause. Is "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service" not a thing in the UK? Here in Ohio, no one would be permitted in a shop with no shirt on. Ick.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/01/2017 01:49

Is your full name mummyof2pyjamarama ?

BastardGoDarkly · 09/01/2017 01:51

Long as your covered pickled your rules hun. Lolz.

scottishdiem · 09/01/2017 02:12

OP, you are judged for what you wear because it's some kind of sport for many women in this country. Look at the vast array of women's magazines and see the acres of print devoted to what women are wearing and what they look like. Similarly, there are websites that do this as well. Women are conditioned to judge other women on what they are wearing in what context. Part of this includes associating behaviour and personality to what clothes are being worn. So we get PJ's outside the house seen as slobbish. This is then associated with slovenly and boorish behaviour. Women are making judgements on another women's entire existence based on what they wear when buying milk. It's a shame really but it is where we are as a society.

If we were more tolerant of others and the differences we all have it would be helpful but we are not.

Insomnibrat · 09/01/2017 02:14

I've just missed a whole episode of Sherlock for this.

scottishdiem · 09/01/2017 02:15

Fashions and ideas of standards change. To her dying day my gran would judge women harshly for leaving the house without a hat or scarf for leaving covering their hair. Slobbish would have been the best of the words she used for pretty much every women shopping these days.

daisychain01 · 09/01/2017 02:49

I plan on going to Morrisons tomorrow wearing gold nipple tassels, a red velvet thong and silver over the knee boots

Go you! I think we should start a new trend. DH says if I do it, he'll join me wearing his pink dayglo Mankini

MizzEmma · 09/01/2017 02:52

I agree that the reason that this is a sensitive issue is that it's a marker of social class.

The OP and others have said that this kind of PJ wearing is acceptable in the USA.

I moved from a naice area of the UK to a naice area in the US. I have never seen anyone in either area wear pyjamas (or pajamas!) in the supermarket, at the school gate or in fact anywhere else.

The women round here always look fantastic, including full make up and blow dried hair to the gym. I really can't imagine PJs in public (and I've been to Walmart in the evening).

steff13 · 09/01/2017 02:57

I'm in the US, too, Ohio, Midwest, and wearing pajamas to shops would get you judged pretty hard here. Wal-Mart is the only place you'd see it, if you had the misfortune of going to Wal-Mart.

KoalaDownUnder · 09/01/2017 03:17

I'm in Australia - not exactly a country known for its highly formal dress code. Wink

Never seen anyone out and about in pyjamas in my life.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 04:03

I agree that the reason that this is a sensitive issue is that it's a marker of social class

So all us poor workin class Oliver twists should dress to appease the eyes of the middle classes? Sorry guvna you've got me bang to rights so you have!

[hmm

Believe it or not, some people don't inspire to appear middle/upper class, nor could they give a shit what class they look like. HTH.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 04:05

*aspire

Damn, me workin class autocorrect guv

buttfacedmiscreant · 09/01/2017 04:27

"I moved from a naice area of the UK to a naice area in the US. I have never seen anyone in either area wear pyjamas (or pajamas!) in the supermarket, at the school gate or in fact anywhere else."

We used to have to leave for school drop off at 6:40 every morning, I didn't have to get out of the car (teen at high school) and I went in PJs almost every morning. I did also carry a bra and dress just in case my car broke down and I needed to get out or wait for a tow! I wasn't getting dressed at 6:15 just to sit in a car for 40 minutes and then go straight home.

I also don't see why people get so worked up about PJs vs "regular clothes". They are often constructed in the exact same way out of the exact same fabric/fibres just with prints instead of solids or different prints. There really is zero difference except one is solid black and one has Betty Boop on it. One of my favourite dresses is actually a nighty. I saw it in a store and asked two random women (looked like mother and grown daughter) if they thought it was ok to wear it as a dress because I had an event to go to and liked it. They both admitted they thought it was a dress. I put a crop jacket over it and some jewellery and got compliments all evening.

Maybe people think that it is lazy and slobby because they would feel lazy and slobby in it. Well, plenty of people think that yoga pants, tracksuits or tunic and leggings look lazy and slobby too, does that mean everyone should wear it?

As for dirty, unwashed etc, to me that says more about how often you wash and wash your PJs. I am often at home and wear strappy nighties all day (like sundresses), so as a result I have lots and put a new one on each day. I personally think it is more grody to wear pjs day after day while you sweat in bed.

To me this is similar to the "boys can't wear girls clothes even if they are gender neutral because they came from the girls section!" brigade. Who cares? If they are clean, no BO, cover bits that should be covered and don't look like they came from a porno why get your knickers in a knot that you can see Mickey Mouse on a pair of cotton trousers?

TheDowagerCuntess · 09/01/2017 04:31

Believe it or not, some people don't inspire to appear middle/upper class, nor could they give a shit what class they look like. HTH.

Yet, they get mightily pissed off when people (quite rightly) judge them as being slovenly / slobbish / lazy / unwashed / mentally unwell / fallen to drink, because they're wearing bed clothes outside the house. Hmm

It seems you do care. Very much.

Just put some clothes on. It's not hard.

buttfacedmiscreant · 09/01/2017 04:41

" If they don't look like pyjamas it's still quite grim"

Horatio, what makes them grim? That you slept in them or that they are inherently dirty because they have pictures of bubblegum on them? Plus as the mother of one grown and one getting there son, just because you have "street clothes" on does not mean you haven't slept in them and rolled out of bed.... especially if your mother wasn't home to give you a hard time.

Also why are pjs inherently dirty? What are people doing in their sleep? Do you only sweat and smell at night? I bet if someone checked there would be much more dirt and bacteria on clothes you wore during the day... for longer for that matter. If you get up at 7 am and put on clothes and wear them all day, doing your daily commute, sitting in meetings, going for lunch etc. how clean do you think your clothes are by the time you get home at 6pm, eleven hours later? A pair of clean pjs IMO is much less slovenly and scuzzy.

So pair of clean pjs worn to sleep in clean bed for 8 hours and now being seen by people at the morning school run

vs

Two piece suit, shirt and tie that Dad wears to pick up kids... suit probably doesn't get dry cleaned every day and even if it has he has sat sweating in it from when he left the house at 7:30 am to when he picked up the kids from the childminder at 6:30 pm -- eleven hours later. When do you think that tie was last washed?

But the pjs are more slobby. Good to know.

Fallonjamie · 09/01/2017 04:57

I agree that the people who do this and say they don't give a shit what anyone thinks do seem to get upset and cross when people do have an opinion.

MizzEmma · 09/01/2017 05:37

FizzBomb that was really not what I meant. I'm middle class but not all my family are, and my Grandparents certainly weren't. My point was that the acceptablity of this practice seems very much to be cultural.

I was responding to the "it's acceptable in the USA" comments. My point was that it's not universally accepted here. There are places here (and in the U.K.) that public PJ wearing is a regular thing. There are also places where you would never, ever see it.

So depending on where you live there are posters who can't see why it's a big deal and posters who think the idea is appalling.

It's being out of step with the norm that raises eyebrows.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 05:44

Despite what you think you meant, that's how you came across.

So what if it is a class thing? You don't seem to be able to answer.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 05:45

Dowager read the thread, I don't wear pyjamas to the shop.

But ya know, keep on eh.

MizzEmma · 09/01/2017 06:10

Fizz the question the OP asked was why people judge. That's why.

I didn't say I thought it was right or nice but that's why.

You can dress any way you please, of course you can. But if you choose to present yourself in certain ways people will make judgements based on those choices. If you don't care - no problem.

For those that do, there's a choice.

Everyone makes thousands of snap judgements about other people every day though. It's disingenuous to say otherwise.

If I turn up at my particular workplace in jeans I'd be judged. If I turned up to volunteer at the local playgroup in an impractical designer dress and heels I'd be judged. It's all about perception and context.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 06:20

Mizz I'm still not seeing what relevance class has to your arguement.

And if it is 'a class thing' then... Well... So what?

You're talking at me like I'm the person that does this when I'm not. I've tried to understand what you're on about but you're not being very clear.

FizzBombBathTime · 09/01/2017 06:23

I'm already well aware of how human beings work and that naturally we all judge so you can quit the condescending primary school education aswell while you're at it

Your mention of class was a deliberate attempt to be goady from what I've read of your posts.