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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be so fed up and confused on pyjama issue

999 replies

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 19:30

AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand. I shower daily, I wash my clothes if they are used/unclean. When I get up I get dressed go about my day, come home and shower and put pyjama pants on until I get into bed. I take them off before bed as I only sleep in my underwear. If I don't have anything to do in the day I'll wake up and put the pyjama pants on because they are comfortable and warm. If I then realise I have to go out and make a run to the store I'll just go like this as I usually have my children (4m and 2y) with me and if not I'm trying to do the shop as fast as I can to get back to them as my DH is not the best with small children and often gets flustered. I am not choosing to wear them out of laziness, I choose to wear them out of comfort. They are clean, I am clean. Nothing inappropriate is exposed. So I don't understand how it is hurting anybody. I don't think it's fair to sit and judge people who chose to wear pyjamas and be comfortable and I don't understand why people are so offended by this?
I'm sure there are a few people that do wear them because they are lazy and slobbish but I don't think it's fair to judge all people that wear them this way.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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crashdoll · 08/01/2017 22:57

Blimey, you just want everyone to agree with you, don't you? Well, I did! Do whatever you bloody want! You're going to anyway...and I really don't care what you wear in public but some people do.

RortyCrankle · 08/01/2017 22:57

YABU but wear what you like as long as you don't care that people will judge you. IMO its slovenly and manky going out in pyjamas and if I saw you I would judge you. You say you haven't slept in them but a person seeing you in the street would have no way of knowing that - they will assume that you just rolled out of bed.

newroundhere · 08/01/2017 23:01

I get dressed to go out. Just don't think it is necessary if I am running to Tesco/Morrison for a 5-10 minute shop!

OP - I'm interested in your perspective here. How do you judge where to draw the line in terms of what occasions you think it is appropriate to wear your PJs?

I think the root of the issue is that people have different boundaries as to when they are appropriate to wear. For example, some people wouldn't open the door when they are wearing PJs, some people are happy to nip to the supermarket in them at night but wouldn't do so in the day, some people may well be comfortable to wear them to lectures or going to the dentists.

I think you said earlier that you wouldn't wear PJs to parents evening (apologies if I got that wrong, it's a long thread!). Why not? And what would you honestly think of someone who turned up wearing them? Might you think that they could have made more of an effort? If so, that's how many people feel about seeing people wearing PJs in what they consider to be an inappropriate environment.

For me there is a difference in what I would wear in private vs what I would wear in public. I feel that some people consider nipping out to the supermarket as not really being "in public" therefore they are happy to wear what they might wear in the house.

Does that make any sense?

MitzyLeFrouf · 08/01/2017 23:01

OP I don't think you're going to get what you want from this thread. All you're doing us getting more wound up. Wear your pyjamas in Morrisons when it takes your fancy but accept there may be some inward (and possibly outward) tutting from some of your companions in the self service checkout queue.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/01/2017 23:02

In your head or to yourself is one thing but openly in public or online is another

I believe I'm perfectly able to say online that I think wearing pyjamas in public is skanky without that making me a bully. I'm entitled to have a different opinion.

fakenamefornow · 08/01/2017 23:02

How about this op?

You wear whatever you want and I'll judge whatever I want? Everybody's happy.

newroundhere · 08/01/2017 23:02

I've just realised I've posted a serious reply on what's become a seriously ridiculous thread.... Confused

gobbynorthernbird · 08/01/2017 23:03

Oh, and you get bullied? I think you'll find that shutting down someone's perfectly legit opinions is classed as bullying. You can't just talk over me until I shut up.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:08

@newroundhere if I'm just out for an hour or less I don't think it should matter if I am in my pyjamas. It's a quick run out to get what I need done and that's it. If I'm planning on being out I will change as I do understand the difference between the two. My whole point of this is that if someone is just out for a quick run why does it matter? Maybe it's late at night and they just need a few things after having already changed. Maybe it's early morning and they wanted to grab a few bits for breakfast before getting ready for the day. Maybe they just want to be comfy and warm. Maybe they like me have two kids and would rather get their kids ready and get out the door then focus on themselves. The main thing is that it's just to get food, nappies, formula, etc. Quick to the shop and back. You obviously don't plan on seeing or impressing anybody in this situation.

If you are going out for the day you obviously are planning on seeing people, being out for an extended period, and you want to look nicer. You have a higher chance of running into people or anything really. Usually if I'm making a quick run to the store it isn't planned, if it's a longer run it is on my DH day off and I obviously will be dressed for the day when I go as it's usually in the middle of the day in these occasions when the kids are napping. When I plan on being out or seeing people I will wear normal clothes but otherwise I stick with comfort.

If I were a teacher and had a parent show up in pyjamas I would be a bit confused but I don't think I would say anything. I don't know what that parent is going through etc.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/01/2017 23:08

Exactly Mitzy - and people are going to carry on judging others, whether the issue they are judging affects them directly or not. It doesn't affect me if you wear pjs in public, mummy, but I will judge you for it.

You aren't going to get people to stop judging public pj-wearing. You aren't going to get people to stop having opinions on things that don't directly affect them.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 08/01/2017 23:09

The thing is, OP, that by your criteria, you are bullying the women wearing cropped tops and mini skirts. I don't think that's what you think you're doing. That's why people are reacting strongly to your use of the term 'bullying'.

1horatio · 08/01/2017 23:10

I don't get how anybody can wear pyjamas to a shop and then... do what? Go to bed with them again? That seems so dirty.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:12

@boyfrom get your point but again was using that as explanation as to how I know the word and it was a miscommunication

OP posts:
1horatio · 08/01/2017 23:12

I'd be worried to let DD come over to your house for a play date. Sure, if I knew you really well? No problem. But if all I knew about you was the 'mother that wears pyjamas to the supermarket'? Not a good impression.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:13

@1horat I wouldn't want my child going to someone so judgemental house either.

OP posts:
Roussette · 08/01/2017 23:16

But aren't you worried about seeing anyone OP? How do you know you won't bump into someone you know - a teacher, your posh neighbour, the woman you used to work with, an old friend you haven't seen for a while... you get the picture.

I was poorly over Christmas, I went to Tesco in tracksuit bottoms and a fluffy top and I bumped into someone I used to work with who I hadn't seen for years. I looked a sight and she was dressed up to the nines, full face of makeup etc and I could've died of embarrassment! And this wasn't pyjamas, just what I call 'comfies' because I was lacking in energy. I told her I'd been poorly and TBH she just looked at me with pity, as I looked rubbish! Of all the people to bump into, she was the worst one!

How do you know you won't bump into someone like this and would you be embarrassed?

If the answer is no, you obviously don't care a damn what anyone thinks!

1horatio · 08/01/2017 23:18

That's your right.

Btw, making snap judgements is actually a survival instinct. Being worried that somebody may be mentally unstable, behave in ways incompatible with social norms or have really different hygiene standards?

Good reasons not to trust them with the wellbeing of your child (imo).

MyNewBearTotoro · 08/01/2017 23:19

I don't get the problem with wearing pyjamas in public - essentially they're just patterned cotton trousers, far less revealing than leggings or running shorts etc, and definitely more comfy than yoga pants. That said it's not the done thing where I live to go out in pjs - I own a big pair of black men's jogging bottoms which I keep by the front door and when I need to nip out to the shop and can't be bothered to get dressed (which is often) I will pull these on over my pyjamas (sometimes even the ones I've been sleeping in all night), stick on a coat and go to the shops.

In the winter don't even shower everyday and sometimes I don't change my pjs for over 24 hours. I'm sure many think that's slovenly but truthfully I don't care.

Wear what you like and who really cares what anyone else thinks - I would definitely be interested to see what some of the people making judgemental comments wear in their day to day life.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:19

@1horat Yes but if you see me in person wether in pyjamas or not you would see I have good hygiene and standards. Obviously for some that isn't the case.

@rousette luckily for me the people I know wouldn't care about such a trivial matter!

OP posts:
Boogers · 08/01/2017 23:20

Does anyone else get the feeling this thread will end up in the mail in the next couple of weeks?

GreenTureen · 08/01/2017 23:21

I'm most comfortable when in my underwear. Much more comfortable than wearing any items of clothing or PJ's IMO.

I don't go shopping in my underwear though because it's underwear and i'd be going against all social norms to do so.

The same as PJ's. Most people wear PJ's at home, not out. If you wear them out, you're sticking your middle finger up to the socially acceptable norm of wearing actual clothes out and you're going to get judged the fuck out of by the majority of people who manage to stick to the social norm.

Suck it up or put some jeans on.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:21

@boogers they love to start fights more than anyone so wouldn't be surprised. They actually reposted the pyjama issue a few times themselves already!

OP posts:
Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 23:22

@green there are many things that used to be social norms that aren't anymore. Women not being able to work and only staying home with kids etc. If no one challenges anything how would anything like that change? I get PJs is nothing compared to that but you get what I'm saying lol

OP posts:
Parmaviolets13 · 08/01/2017 23:22

I've joined the party rather late (and admittedly haven't read the whole thread, just the first few pages) but I cannot believe people are getting so frustrated over this.

I wear my pyjamas at home because they are comfy, I usually wear dresses and if im not going out why dress up? I own tonnes of pairs so they're always clean. And it's my own house I can wear what I want, I could walk around naked if I wanted to.

Wearing jogging bottoms or 'yoga' pants surely is just the same thing??!
I don't go out in mine because some of mine are quite embarrassing! I own a Harry potter pair 😁

Wear what you like, op, who gives a shit. X

1horatio · 08/01/2017 23:23

But that's just the thing. Anybody that wears pyjamas to the supermarket and then goes back to bed with them doesn't have good hygiene standards imo. I obviously wouldn't know that if I simply saw you, but that's how I see your behaviour.

I'm not offended by it. It's just a bit disgusting imo.

And if all I knew about you was the pyjama part I'd assume you didn't care about social norms and or may be mentally unstable.