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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be so fed up and confused on pyjama issue

999 replies

mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 19:30

AIBU to be serverly annoyed with all the judgements on pyjama wearers?

Can someone explain to me what the big deal over wearing pyjamas is? I don't understand. I shower daily, I wash my clothes if they are used/unclean. When I get up I get dressed go about my day, come home and shower and put pyjama pants on until I get into bed. I take them off before bed as I only sleep in my underwear. If I don't have anything to do in the day I'll wake up and put the pyjama pants on because they are comfortable and warm. If I then realise I have to go out and make a run to the store I'll just go like this as I usually have my children (4m and 2y) with me and if not I'm trying to do the shop as fast as I can to get back to them as my DH is not the best with small children and often gets flustered. I am not choosing to wear them out of laziness, I choose to wear them out of comfort. They are clean, I am clean. Nothing inappropriate is exposed. So I don't understand how it is hurting anybody. I don't think it's fair to sit and judge people who chose to wear pyjamas and be comfortable and I don't understand why people are so offended by this?
I'm sure there are a few people that do wear them because they are lazy and slobbish but I don't think it's fair to judge all people that wear them this way.

OP posts:
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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/01/2017 22:36

Mummyof2pr - people judge people. They may be judging them for something that has affected them personally - for example, I judge bullies, and I judge those who stand by and do nothing while someone is bullied, because I was bullied, and people, including my mother, did nothing.

Or they judge people for things that don't affect them directly - like wearing pyjamas in public - it doesn't have any effect on me personally, but I do still judge someone who does it - it looks bad, imo, for all the reasons that others have given on this thread.

You can't change the judgements. So it is up to you - wear the pyjamas out and about if you want to, but accept that some people will be judging you, assuming you have just rolled out of bed and come out in your sweaty nightwear. Chances are they won't say anything to you, so will their judgements or opinions affect you?

happynewyearchum · 08/01/2017 22:37

Do you have a Tesco or Morrison's inside your house then!?

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:39

@SDTG but the thing is by making these horrible harsh judgements about people they don't know it is bullying in a sense, isn't it?

OP posts:
WaitrosePigeon · 08/01/2017 22:41

If you want to go against the norms then you have to accept people will make judgments about it.

I'm not saying that's ok, but they will do it. So you either need to stop doing it or have the courage of your conviction and carry on.

Pringle2628 · 08/01/2017 22:42

I wear pjs out the house to the local shop if for example it's 8pm and I've just realised we have no milk and bread for breakfast. Me and the kids all nip there in pjs.
I tend to make sure I'm wearing plain pjs and put a long coat on and boots.
I hate it when my partner leaves the house in jogging bottoms though, the other week he had been to football training as he's a coach and then without even looking at his clothes I said can we nip to some shop, we get out the car and I realise he has jogging bottoms on with football socks on the outside!! I was mortified, especially when he wears a suit to work every day and I only ever get the slobby side of him.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/01/2017 22:44

No, it is not bullying, to have an opinion of someone in the privacy of your own mind, and frankly, as someone whose life has been blighted by the effects of years of bullying as a teenager, as someone who was suicidal at fourteen years old, I find that statement offensive.

gobbynorthernbird · 08/01/2017 22:45

If you're trying to compare yourself to Sophie Lancaster or something because you can't be arsed to put a pair of jeans on, you're not right. Bullying? Absolutely yes if it's because you're 'alternative' but god no of you just don't put outdoor clothing on.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:46

@SDTG People have said these women are "slobbish" "jobless" "tramps" "skanks" "nasty" "unhygienic" and the list goes on. That's not bullying?!? I've been bullied as well, and I consider this bullying and incredibly rude.

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Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:47

@Gobby I'm so tired of you. You miss the point every time and I think that's because you chose to.

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NicknameUsed · 08/01/2017 22:48

WaitrosePigion is spot on. If you don't want to be shot at don't stick your head above the parapet.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2017 22:49

FFs is this still going on.

OP, It does no one any harm, you've been told a hundred times why people judge and what that judgement is. You're not going to change it. If the additonal comfort is so important to you. Wear your bloody pjs out. You will be judged, get over it. Just as you would be judged in any other inappropriate clothing or behaviour that doesn't harm others.

I said at the begining you were just after a fight. I dunno what's going on in your personal life, that you want to come on here and start a fight.

gobbynorthernbird · 08/01/2017 22:50

Nope. The point is you don't get dressed in outdoor clothes. And, quite rightly IMO, people judge you.
I'm allowed to disagree with you, you know.

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 08/01/2017 22:50

Tbf, OP, silent judgement I. Your head that you don't share or even articulate aloud, let alone to someone else, is NOT bullying. No one here has said it's acceptable to be rude to you.

SauvignonBlanche · 08/01/2017 22:50

by making these horrible harsh judgements about people they don't know it is bullying in a sense, isn't it?

Bollocks - I would judge the hell out of someone I saw outside in their pyjamas (unless their house was on fire or they were in A&E) but I'd keep it to myself as its none of my bloody business and I can think what I like.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:51

@blunt seriously stop. I've responded to attacks on myself and as it's my post I've responded to other posts as well that i agree/don't agree with. That's what a discussion is. People making nasty comments to me are starting fights. I have every right to respond and defend myself. I asked a question on pyjamas. That was not an open invitation for people to attack me or my life.

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ph0ebe · 08/01/2017 22:51

I don't understand why you don't get it? PJs are nightwear therefore people will assume you've been wearing them at night** if it bothers you that much wear a sign saying I dont wear PJs in bed, this is my day wear.
Who judges you anyway? I bet no-one says anything, if you want to do it just do it with confidence but don't tell me how to feel about nightwear worn as day wear

BoyFromTheBigBadCity · 08/01/2017 22:51

In your, on phone, sorry for typos.

sj257 · 08/01/2017 22:52

I saw someone with full on pj's, dressing gown and huge novelty slippers in Asda the other day 😂

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:52

@boyfrom and @sauvign I'm talking about the people commenting on here and on Facebook and all articles. If you're keeping it to yourself no harm no foul but when people read this and they do this it's nasty and not nice. Everyone judges silently but openly is a whole different story.

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crashdoll · 08/01/2017 22:53

Why did you post this? You're happy with wearing your comfy bottoms outside the house and you aren't going to change. That's your choice, it's a free country. Some people will judge you, some people won't. You don't know what I'm thinking when I stand behind you in the supermarket queue. I could think "ugh why is she wearing pjs?" or I might not even have noticed you because I'm busy with my own life. Am I a bully if I think you're gross? You wouldn't even know if I did or didn't! FWIW, I don't give a shit what other people wear as long as it doesn't affect me and you wearing a pink fluff onesie makes no difference to my day,

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:53

@gobby honestly stfu you're reading what you want and ignoring everything else your comments are pointless

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Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:54

@crash I have stated why I've posted this numerous times

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/01/2017 22:54

No. Having an opinion in your own head, is not bullying. If someone on here went up to a person on the street and called them a slattern/skank/whatever, for wearing pjs in public- that would be rude and offensive. If they did it repeatedly, to the same person, that would be bullying. But just thinking something is not bullying.

I could hold the opinion that I am an author, but unless I write a book, story or article, I am not an author - that is how opinion differs from demonstrable fact.

Original poster
mummyof2pr · 08/01/2017 22:55

@SDTG read comment I made. In your head or to yourself is one thing but openly in public or online is another.

OP posts:
GrouchyKiwi · 08/01/2017 22:55

The judgemental frothing on this thread is incredible.

Can you see parts of the body it's illegal to see in public? Yes? Call a policeman. No? Move the fuck along.

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