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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask..

74 replies

user1483809827 · 08/01/2017 09:41

How many dates did you have with your DP/DH before you slept together? Is there such thing as too soon?

OP posts:

JacquesHammer · 08/01/2017 15:49

First date. Been friends a year.

I've done waiting, I've done first date. I've done one night stands.

No right answer other than what is right for you in any given situation

OurBlanche · 08/01/2017 15:50

First saw him at someone's birthday pub crawl. Met him again the week after, had a few people at mine, he didn't leave.

32 years ago this year, married 28 years ago.

We worked fast, in the olden days

flyhigh · 08/01/2017 15:59

11 months but we were only 15 when we started dating, together 23 years now, married for 16 of them

SVJAA · 08/01/2017 16:01

Broke every rule I ever had and had sex with DP the first night we met. 5 years and two babies down the line I'm glad I did.

SadTrombone · 08/01/2017 16:06

...technically before our first date!

Like PP MrsChrisPratt so fantastically put it - a 'one-life-stand'! Been together 5 years now, married and planning DCs likely next year hopefully

Cinderpi · 08/01/2017 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OurBlanche · 08/01/2017 16:20

'one-life-stand' I may have to steal that

MagpieMay · 08/01/2017 16:43

I had a ten date rule when I was single so went quite a while without! So with DP was about a 6 weeks after we started dating. He's always said he had a lot of respect for me for it and when we did we knew each other quite well. I knew he was the one by then! We've been together 5 years now

showmeislands · 08/01/2017 16:46

Slept together on the first date, after many cocktails. Wasn't what I generally did but I really fancied him and it felt right! Been together 10 years now.

LumpySpacePrick · 08/01/2017 16:47

The night we met then it fizzled out.

Eight years later we ended up back in touch and we slept together the first time we met up. We now live together and are very happy.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/01/2017 16:47

I'm single but my record is about 20 mins

DeliciouslyHella · 08/01/2017 16:48

4th date, which due to him buggering off on holiday for two weeks was a month after date 1.

Been together 7 years now, married for 3 and have DD. DC2 is due in July.

Lesley1980 · 08/01/2017 16:49

Probably about 2 months. No reason to wait that long. Can't remember how many dates- maybe 3 a week?

dollydaydream114 · 08/01/2017 16:56

If they're worth it they'll wait.

Yes, of course they will - but not every woman actually wants there to be any waiting. I've always slept with people straight away because I really wanted to, not because I thought they 'wouldn't wait'.

PorkyScratchings · 08/01/2017 17:10

Another one who hadn't actually been on a date yet. We met once briefly when out with our respective friends. I thought he seemed nice and my friend introduced me to him one lunch time and then left us together. He offered to lend me the new Pink Floyd album. I walked home with him to get it, went in for 'coffee' and that was that. 34 years later we're still together and still happy. 😊

DontTouchTheMoustache · 08/01/2017 17:12

I generally considered sex to be an ice breaker...

Jellymuffin · 08/01/2017 17:57

6 months! We were only 15 though! Now married with DS and Dc2 on the way 18 years later.

BintyMOISTMcGinty · 08/01/2017 18:11

2 dates, moved in with him 3 weeks later and been together 30 years

Jaagojaago · 08/01/2017 18:26

The responses you get here may be a bit skewed. People are posting about when they had sex with their life partners if it was soonish

Maybe they also had sex soonish with a few others who didn't for whatever reason become The One. Those stories aren't being told - and various other combinations and permutations

All to say - it's great hearing stories but don't form conclusions based on these.

In my case - first boyfriend sex on second date together 3 turbulent years

Second boyfriend - sex on second date - together 5 years happily married and have a son.

TataEs · 08/01/2017 18:45

no dates... before we dated.
friend of friend. at a party in his house. friend fucked off cos his gf was pissed he'd gone out without her. i asked to crash over rather than pay £40 taxi home. he offered me his bed, we talked for hours, had sex a couple of times, and were friends with benefits for about 3 months before we made it serious.
together 8 years, married, 2 kids.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 08/01/2017 20:21

I generally considered sex to be an ice breaker..

Me too - if I knew their name s it was a bonus .

TheNewMrsGerardButler · 08/01/2017 20:35

Fifth date over three weeks. A little over two years later and we are waiting to move into our new house any day and baby is due next month.

Original poster

user1483809827 · 08/01/2017 22:14

Had our 2nd date earlier at his place. No sex. Maybe next time

OP posts:

pumpkinpieinmyeye · 08/01/2017 22:50

The first night we met! The first time it's happened so quickly and I wasn't expecting to hear from him again, he was funny, gorgeous and out of my league!

As it goes, he thought exactly the same about me but it worked and we are getting married later this year.

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