about mates rates/favours for friends?

[Blinkybell]

A bit of background - I like sewing, knitting, etc and in recent years I've really got into quilting.

I had a load of unfinished projects floating about, so about 18 months ago I started finishing them off and sold them on Etsy, over time I've made them for friends as gifts, for friends of friends, etc and have now sold quite a few and I have a few orders on the go at the moment

I also have a full time job, kids, dog, normal family stuff

Anyway, to cut a long story short, a friend has asked me to make a quilt as a present for her mum. She texted a few days ago to ask me if I'd do her a favour and make a "little something" and she'd "provide all the material" for her mums birthday at the end of the month, I replied that it depended on what the 'little something' was as I was pretty busy at the moment. She asked if she could come over and show me.

Turns out that she wants me to make a pretty complicated double bed size quilt, from shirts that belonged to her late father. It's lovely, but there's nothing 'little' about it.

I apologised and explained that I just didn't have time, I had work and some paid for orders that had to take priority. I said she could leave it with me and I'd do it over the next few weeks, suggested some simpler designs, a smaller quilt or cushion covers maybe, but she wanted to stick with her original idea, so I had to say, sorry but no can do.

She got really huffy and passive aggressive and has been bad mouthing me to a couple of mutual friends.

I'm really pissed off with her, I'd really like to cut down my hours at work and sell more of my stuff so I feel that it have to prioritise prior, paying orders over favours.

I'm happy to make her the quilt, but it will be as and when and will go to the back of the queue whenever I get a paid for order

£10!!! I thought £35 was bad!!

Ha! I had nearly that same text-word for word! I have to admit I was a bit PA about it in the end. I posted a pic of the above finished blanket, then got a friend to comment that it must have cost a fortune to make, and that she knew it had taken the best part of a month because she'd been following my weekly updates!

Have you ever got the "HOW much?" as if you're cheeky for even daring to ask? 😁😁😁

Op I would text her, well yes what you wanted was an extremely bespoke piece, that is very complicated and expensive to make, I am afraid you will not find one like that in Matalan or ASDA! If you want I can recommend you a couple of quilters who can do it for you, not sure of their prices though.

@Aero@ I didn't make that one- that was just the pattern. The one I made was made with chunky wool and weight 8lb! If I could work out how to post a pic I would.

I figured, it looks very lovely, and extremely complicated, and she wanted to throw you a £10 . My friend is a quilter, sewer, knitter etc and she always tells me how much work and time her pieces are. If I pulled a stunt like that, she would read me the riot act (she is Greek with a hot temper).

OP slightly off topic here...but may I "steal" this idea please? I was thinking of cutting squares out of some of the DC's baby clothes, blanket-stitching around the squares as a base for a crochet border, then joining all the squares with crochet.

Aero it's the only time I'm able to sit down for more than two seconds without getting antsy...and even then I have to have the tv on at the same time 😁

OH bless, I would love to have the talents to quilt and knit and sew, I just stretch to hemming and darning holes in clothes, even then, that's no good. My granny could memorise a pattern and produce exactly the same item. My Aunt was saying that many years ago she wanted this beautiful dress in the shop, they could not afford it, so their mum (granny), went to the shop, saw it, and produced a dress exactly the same

People like this always think they're right, so it's not worth engaging with them unless it's to get rid of them once and for all.

BlinkyBell - re that last text from her - why not reply suggesting she takes her dad's shirts down Matalan and see what they say?

pop I keep meaning to have a go at one of those crochet quilts, there's loads on Pinterest if you have a look, I've got a pattern somewhere, I'll see if I can find it.

I do find the whole money thing excruciating. I like Etsy as you just stick it up for £x, job done. No one has ever questioned me yet though

I'm not going to engage with her anymore. Pointless

Thanks!

Sorry, I think my iPad is on it's last legs as it keeps crashing so I keep missing posts.

I'm not ignoring anyone

I did laugh at the Matalan comparison. I saw them too, and they were lovely, they weren't patchwork though, it was just printed fabric that had been quilted - not a random collection of shirts.

The picture is not my work, but this is the type of thing she wanted.

Oh right Blinky is that like something she wanted. That looks lovely, but I can see it would be quite complicated. Just looked at some quilts on Etsy, they go up to £600, it depends on the size and type of quilt. With shirts they are different types of fabric, so more difficult.

This makes mw wish I could sew...beautiful!

Aero it's not exactly what she wanted, but it's the same process. It's not difficult, but it is fiddly and time consuming.

I'm making a similar one at the moment and I'm using all new cotton and it's taking ages. Using a random bunch of old shirts - some denim, some silk, some cotton, etc, etc, would have been a right PITA.

Pop crochet quilt pattern. One day I will learn to crochet and make one

See if this works...here's what a tenner could buy you- not! 😁

Blinky thank you!

This does annoy me too.
I like playing with my sewing machine and do make quite a few of my own dresses and bags. I number of friends will ask for a dress like this or that cause they can't find what they want in the shop. When you say yes but it will be about £xx as material alone will be £xx they get all defensive and start going in how you can get a dress in m and s for a lot less.

Actually, I have a friend who would do this. Lucky I am not talented at anything so she never really asks me for things, though I have had a few cheeky requests. I will not put more up, but she tells me she goes on Mumsnet, this week she was moaning about a friend who did not give her mates rates for something.

Cheeky mare! I'm in the process of trying to source a patchwork quilt for DD's new bedroom and all the handmade quilts I've looked at on Etsy and Not On the High Street are £75+. As I am the least arty/crafty person you could hope to meet I'm 100% prepared to pay the cost as I appreciate how much time and effort has gone into them.

CaveMum I hear you. Yes, you could buy from Matalan or Ebay even- but people who buy handmade things are after something unique-like yourself.

Some people just don't get it

Even worse, they often don't want to get it ... it's not hard to google the time taken for even a simple quilt, but maybe they don't want to do that as it would hamper the dreaded "can you just ..."

I've been asked to "run up" something before, as I do crochet, so yes, I've seen the "how much?" reaction from people.

I don't bother accepting requests from people expecting a freebie any more. Wools might not cost as much as materials, but they aren't cheap and stuff can take some time to crochet. I'll charge now, and having seen the costing example in Waterlemon's link, I'll damn well make sure I charge correctly.

Maybe the penny finally dropped or her friends have explained the reality to her?
I hope so. Some people just dont see past the finished article, no idea of how much work it is to actually make, how much the materials are.

I would never expect a friend to work for hours and hours on something for me for nothing, never mind buying the materials themselves. Its just common sense that you pay for what you are asking them to do. You wouldnt go into a shop and order something to be made then expect to just 'bung them a tenner' for their time and trouble would you?

£45 from Matalan? She should be embarrassed to even make the comparison.

I was looking at a beautiful Amish patchwork quilt in an store the other day (I live in the US). It was $800.