AIBU to drink?

[nakedscientist]

We have invited good friends to dinner tonight. They have texted to say they are doing dry January. We do dry-three-days-each-week and do not do dry Jan. I was planning on drinking wine and my husband beer. So long as we are modest, AIBU to drink while they are not?

Of course !

I can't see the problem if you have a glass or two. As long as they have something non alcoholic and nice to drink.

YANBU

If they're just giving it up for Jan no problem. I'd be inclined to not drink if they were teetotal recovering alcoholics, but not just for 'dry Jan'ers.

Drink away I say. I find 'dry january' tedious. Just be moderate.

I'd drink but then I'd eat cake if someone was on a diet so I may not be the best person to answer

It's your house, your rules.

Wouldn't put me off drinking in the slightest! Nor, if I was doing dry January, would I expect my friends to do so.

Personally I would do non alcoholic for everyone, it's not like you have to drink every night of the week.

You should definitely drink - your ration and theirs!

Yanbu

Of course not. You're in your own home so you can and should drink if you want to. It's their choice not to

YANBU. If they want to do dry January that's up to them, you don't have to do it too.

I find people who do dry January a bit 🙄. I do the same as you, three dry nights. Everything in moderation!

Thanks MNs for your quick and decisive response. I shall drink to you!!

YANBU to drink. They've probably told you because they don't want you to put temptation in their way through your (no doubt persistent) politeness in offering them a drink and wondering why they don't want one.

Incidentally, someone who decides they need a "dry January" is basically publicly announcing that they have a drinking problem. It is the classic alcoholic's move, wanting to prove to themselves that they are not an alcoholic by abstaining totally... for a few weeks. They can't face being a responsible drinker in the long term, but they feel that if they can stop drinking entirely for a month then they "can't" be an alcoholic. A responsible drinker doesn't need to announce to the world that they are not drinking this month. They just, you know, don't drink. Addicts of all substances and behaviours use the "cold turkey" treatment to justify to themselves, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that they are NOT an addict after all. But before long, they will drink as much as before, smoke as much as before, gamble as much as before - whatever their addiction is, a month away from it is not a permanent cure. It reinforces the "all or nothing" belief and soon changes from "nothing" back to "all".

(Then there's the rest of us of course, who know we're drinking too much but really don't care!)

I've never done dry January but I have had to stop drinking for a few months at a time on a couple of occasions because of medication I was taking. I would never have expected other people not to drink just because I couldn't!

It was a bummer that I couldn't enjoy a glass of wine, sure, but I would never have wanted to spoil anyone else's fun.

They probably only mentioned it so you knew you didn't need to get extra booze in for them.

I dont think doing dry January means you have a drink problem anymore than going on a diet means you have an eating disorder. Sometimes we recognise we have temporarily over indulged and take steps to rectify it.

I'm doing Dry Jan and would never expect others to not drink because I'm not. Just like I never expected people to not drink around me when I was pg.

or not eat bread when I am low-carbing.

Bit of an odd request, unless they were just warning you not to break out something special (alcoholic) for them.

I hope that's not true SnatchedPencil.

Can I ask you are you basing that on some kind of facts or just your observations etc.?

So... It's half nine now and the party must be under way.. Now I don't expect Naked Scientist to post here part way through the evening... but I am intrigued as to what happened..

We have had friends over when they are doing dry Jan and were not. We have also visited friends when we have been off the booze and they not. On both occasions the non waggoners drank and everyone was fine. enjoy a drink and some good company

Say you are also doing dry January. Get dry white wine.

Incidentally, someone who decides they need a "dry January" is basically publicly announcing that they have a drinking problem. It is the classic alcoholic's move, wanting to prove to themselves that they are not an alcoholic by abstaining totally... for a few weeks

You're a havering cuddy.

snatchedpencil that's a rather didactic assertion methinks the poster doth protest too much are you a medical professional specialising in substance abuse or just a bit insecure about your own drinking

I overindulged for ages running up to Xmas, put on weight and wanted to reset liver, scales and myself. It's a healthy thing to do. Not really sure what it has to do with anyone else. I wouldn't ever dream of expecting others to hold back if I'm on the wagon - I wouldn't

Unless they are actually alcoholics (doesn't sound like there is any indication they are) who are trying to quit drinking I;m sure they won't mind at all.

I'm doing a Dry January. Normally I only drink on weekends and well within current guidelines of 14 units a week. I just like the sense of a fresh start and a touch of self-discipline after a season which is about indulgence. I also do a Dry June.

Pencil is talking bollocks.