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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been shamed at the gym

311 replies

Bonbon12 · 04/01/2017 20:42

I am a plus size lady who has made it her New Years resolution to lose weight. I joined a gym in December and mainly use the pool. I suffer from knee pain so I have to use the pool for my exercise I can't do running or bike.

So I do little bit of swim-hops/walking which helps my knee and also helps me lose weight. When I arrived I went into the fast lane as it was completely empty and was the smallest lane. It suddenly got really busy and that made other lanes quite busy.

Then two men moved into my lane. They started a fast swim. I asked them could they wait another 15 mins for me to finish and that I have a knee problem so this is helps me.

They replied that "that's not our problem and that the pool was for those who do real exercise". I replied it is real exercise and then I heard one of the men mutter "it's not the lard lane" and I left straight away.

Aibu to think that these men are complete cunts.

OP posts:
dynevoran · 05/01/2017 02:09

I won't say the obvious as I'm sure you know by now!

Agree with Edwinbear and their summary. I find in a pool I do have to change up and down a couple of times during my swim when I change stroke or someone comes or leaves.

It always drives me mad when there is someone chasing my heels or holding me up but that's life in a shared pool as with normally only 4 lanes and always more than 4 speeds. But it's why I fell in love with open water swimming and during the summer you will only find me in a lake not in a pool!

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/01/2017 02:53

@ClarrisaDarling awesome.

SantaPleaseBringMeEwanMcGregor · 05/01/2017 02:54

YANBU in that they were utter cunts, but when someone wanted to use the fast lane that you were going slow in, YWBU not to reliquish it, and to ask them to wait. Still does not merit the fuckwittery they displayed.

Bloodybridget · 05/01/2017 03:21

To me the word "shamed" implies some third-party involvement, so if the comment was muttered by one of the men to the other, and no-one but you heard it, YABU for claiming this as well as for thinking you could ask them to wait 15 minutes to swim.

YoHoHoandabottleofTequila · 05/01/2017 07:17

What is swim hopping anyway?

GreatFuckability · 05/01/2017 07:41

How on earth does hopping round a pool help someone to lose weight?

the same way any movement does?

drinkingchanelno5 · 05/01/2017 08:02

YABU there is nothing more annoying than people who mess around in the fast lane.

mya83 · 05/01/2017 08:11

I agree with previous posters- you were the unreasonable one. Dicking about in the day lane (swim hopping??? Wtf??) fair enough when it was empty but then expecting others who actually wanted to swim to wait around while you finished! So what if you have a knee problem. Most people I know have some ailment or other but none make such a drama of it as this. You clearly think your 'knee problem' overrides anyone else's need to use to facilities. Entitled, rude and annoying.

ChristopherWren · 05/01/2017 08:20

You were unreasonable to ask them to wait - I can't quite believe you actually did that!

Backt0Black · 05/01/2017 08:23

Um. This thread is really filling up now ..... could you all just wait while I take 15 minutes to have a leisurely read though. I need to do it alone and unfettered as I've made resolution and have a sore knee.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 08:27

Look it does not matter if op was swim hopping, its good that she is out and trying to loose weight and get fit, one would not be expecting her to be an Olympic swimmer. I am shocked about the people on here teasing her and ribbing her for swim hopping. And the derogatory sarcastic tones being used on here. She is keeping mobile and that is great.

What she was very unreasonable for doing, is doing this in the fast swimming lane, when other people wanted to swim fast, and asking them to wait 15 mins. I am sure that they were not pleased about that. Op could have used the slower lanes or the general pool area to do her exercise.

Cheby · 05/01/2017 08:33

They shouldn't have called you a name but you were being ridiculously unreasonable yourself. I sometimes only swim for 30 mins in total, so you would possibly have been expecting them to waste half of their exercise time waiting for you to finish dicking about in the fast lane?

I am very overweight, morbidly obese in fact, and pregnant to boot, so I do understand the awfulness of having random people call you names for no reason. And when I get in the medium lane or fast lane (the latter if I'm going to do front crawl) I can often see faces falling on other swimmers as they expect me to be holding them up. However I am a strong swimmer, and I wouldn't get in a lane if I couldn't keep up. I usually swim a mile or so in a 45 minute session, which is plenty fast enough for the medium lane at my pool.

Respect the lane rules and you'll be fine (although I'm not sure if there is a walking lane, I think that would still piss me right off because it must be even slower than the old ladies wafting up the pool with inexplicably dry hair and perfect make up who inhabit my local).

RunWalkCrawlbutMove · 05/01/2017 08:38

They were really rude but you should have moved out of the fast lane as soon as someone else wanted to swim. IME most training swimmers have a limited amount of time to be in the pool - either it stops being lanes or gets much busier - maybe they are on their lunch break. 15 mins would be half the time I had to swim. I would be really pissed off if you said that to me. However I wouldn't have name called. I would have refused to move out of the lane though.

Are you actually swimming or walking?

trinity0097 · 05/01/2017 08:40

I can understand you possibly using the fast lane if it was empty, but would have immediately moved to a slow lane (or no lane) area if proper swimmers turned up.

In fact I'm surprised the lifeguard didn't ask you to move, they would have done at my pool.

Scooby20 · 05/01/2017 08:49

Thing is the op was a twat and the men were twats.

But its odd that tge op says 'well i cant go back and seim in a different lane now, can i?'

The men cant go back and take their comments back either. So if op thinks as she can't change the past it doesnt matter, neither do the comments these men made.

Its in the past, cant change it. Let it go and move on.

manicinsomniac · 05/01/2017 08:54

As you have admitted, YWBU to ask them to wait and not to have moved when you saw the lane was needed for its intended purpose.

However, I think you've had a rough time here. You came here upset about being fat shamed and have been thoroughly disability shamed by many posters. The disparaging remarks and mocking about your form of exercise are uncalled for. Well done for having the motivation and courage to do what you can to help your health and I hope you keep it up (in the right lane!)

For the OP, her motion through the water is as important and effective as other people's speed of light 50 lengths of crawl. It's not 'improper' exercise 'faffing' 'leisurely' 'like having a cuppa' 'arsing about' or whatever else might have been said. It's useful exercise. For her.

Nobody would have said this about adapted exercises made for people with limited mobility on the gym floor.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 09:00

I agree manic, the sneery sarcastic tones being used by posters about op type of exercise is awful and disablist. Its no better than playground behaviour. The fact that op is up and exercising, and keeping her knee mobile is fantastic.

Yes she should have moved straight away and apologised once the swimmers came into the fast lane.

HappyLittleCloud · 05/01/2017 09:05

I'd so love it if lanes were given names like 'the dicking about lane' and 'olympic wannabe lane'.

BartholinsSister · 05/01/2017 09:09

But presumably not 'the lard lane', HappyLittleCloud

HappyLittleCloud · 05/01/2017 09:11

No, definitely not and for the sake of clarity that post was lighthearted.

Laiste · 05/01/2017 09:11

Or 'The Just Standing Around Chatting With Your Mates Taking Up The Whole Of One Fucking End Of The Lane' lane, Happy.

Angry

Lane stress and people giving no consideration for anyone else ruined going swimming for me.

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 09:12

Happy my point exactly!

Laiste · 05/01/2017 09:12

I was agreeing with you by the way Grin

And was serious!

Aeroflotgirl · 05/01/2017 09:13

Op waseny dicking about she was keeping mobile, and doing some for of exercise, due to her weight.

Bluntness100 · 05/01/2017 09:22

Op, I'd agree don't let this put uou off going back, you're doing a good thing.

I think most people, me included, come from the assumption that everyone has been in a pool before so knows it's shared and uou just don't ask people to wait whilst you have exclusive use of an area of it, it's not like a treadmill or something, where people don't use it till you've finished on it.

You should have just moved over when you saw people wishing to use it for its purpose, not asked them to wait and obviously not left the pool completely,

Go back, do your thing, and this time it will be better as you know what to do so it won't happen again.