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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my 5 year old daughter share a room with a male friend

115 replies

Ohbehave1 · 04/01/2017 17:55

My partner and I disagree and I don't know if I am being over cautious. We are normally a fairly easy going family but when talking to my partner about one of my daughters friends coming round for a sleepover we disagreed

I didn't think it right that a male friend shares a room with my 5 year old daughter but my partner says that if they are in different beds it's ok and that they are too young to think anything of it.

Am I being over protective?

OP posts:
DonaldStott · 04/01/2017 18:10

I think you have made it try to sound inappropriate when you said 'male friend', rather than 'little boy', which is what he is.

NerrSnerr · 04/01/2017 18:10

Would you be ok if it's a 5 year old girl? What do you think a 5 year old boy would do differently?

JigglyTuff · 04/01/2017 18:10

I thought you meant an adult friend but you mean a 5 YO boy? FFS - stop sexualising children Angry

AnyFucker · 04/01/2017 18:11

answer the question...how old is the "male friend"

Stillunexpected · 04/01/2017 18:14

Yes, I initially thought the mention of "male friend" meant an adult? However, this actually seems to be your 5 year old daughter's Reception or nursery friend?! Who describes a 5 year old boy as a "male friend"?!

waitressinacocktailbar · 04/01/2017 18:23

If you're talking about two 5 year olds sharing a room for a sleepover then YABVU and slightly odd

ifyoulikepinacolada · 04/01/2017 18:27

Yabu I'm afraid. They're five.

GinIsIn · 04/01/2017 18:28

Do you mean a 5 year old boy?! If so YABVVVU and frankly a bit weird!

GColdtimer · 04/01/2017 18:29

For goodness sake, really? Are you seriously asking that question. Of course its OK for your 5 year old daughter to share a room with a similar aged boy.

Utterly ridiculous.

AtSea1979 · 04/01/2017 18:32

What everyone else said. I think you need to look at yourself if you think 5 year olds are sexualised.

stella23 · 04/01/2017 18:32

Seriously do the BOY a favour and don't invite him.
If I was his mum I wouldn't ever let him could round yours again. And I'd tell him not to play with your female d

RortyCrankle · 04/01/2017 18:32

Ohbehave1
We are normally a fairly easy going family

Based on your OP I somehow doubt that.

Assuming you are talking about your DD's male friend who is 5 or 6 - what the hell is inappropriate with them sleeping in the same room?

Unless it's April 1st, how much more bizarre can this board get?

Quartz2208 · 04/01/2017 18:32

They are 5 of course its fine. DD recently had an 8th party sleepover and it was 4 girls and 1 boy - it was all completely innocent and fine. You are a few years away from it not being.

And its odd its phrased as if the male friend is an adult as well he is a boy!

WonderWombat · 04/01/2017 18:38

I think female friends are quite capable of doing sexual/physical exploration. Though even then 5 is probably a bit young. Also if this happens it doesn't just have to be at a sleepover.

1horatio · 04/01/2017 18:40

Two 5 year old? You're being silly.

Also a 5 and a 6 year old, btw.

Skittlesss · 04/01/2017 18:41

Gallvich- I have medically diagnosed anxiety issues and would be fine with my 5yr old having a boy her age staying over.

Maybe OP has bad memories of abuse at that age?

dailymaillazyjournos · 04/01/2017 18:43

I'd be happy with that. The worst that will happen is that they'll stay up giggling and chatting/playing half the night and be crabby and hard work the next day. But unless this idea triggers something in your past, I really do think it's over-cautious to not allow it.

1970sCarpet · 04/01/2017 18:46

Do you mean a adult male friend? friend of the family? if you mean another 5yr old boy then i agree, you're bonkers.

VestalVirgin · 04/01/2017 18:48

I think female friends are quite capable of doing sexual/physical exploration.

I would not be worried about "exploration" I would be worried about rape.

But not with a 5 year old.

With a normal child, I'd consider the risk negligible.

With a child where there's reason to assume that he has been made to watch porn, or worse, I would be more cautious, but that doesn't seem to be the case here.

Why are you worried, OP? Do you think there's something off about the boy? Or do you really just think it "improper"?

HelenaWay · 04/01/2017 18:51

Whatever mate.

Sybys · 04/01/2017 18:51

It's a big YABU from me.

HecateAntaia · 04/01/2017 18:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

harderandharder2breathe · 04/01/2017 18:56

Assuming it's another 5 year old then yabu what do you actually think they're going to do?

Original poster
Ohbehave1 · 04/01/2017 18:56

Sorry. Same age.

I was brought up in a family where boys and girls don't share a room. Nothing sexual,

And anyfucker. Sorry I didn't answer the question straight away. I was on the phone and don't have the time to spend on the net 24/7!

Ok. So obviously my families view was a bit old fashioned - but to be given so much grief because I poorly worded the title sucks. Ok. So Aibu brings out the worst but to be accused of deliberately wording the title to make people think it was an adult shows who the sicko's really are. It never crossed my mind.

OP posts:
blueskyinmarch · 04/01/2017 18:57

YABVU if you are indeed talking about two 5 year olds sharing a room. They are just little kids. What are you worried about?

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