To not let my 5 year old daughter share a room with a male friend

[Ohbehave1]

My partner and I disagree and I don't know if I am being over cautious. We are normally a fairly easy going family but when talking to my partner about one of my daughters friends coming round for a sleepover we disagreed

I didn't think it right that a male friend shares a room with my 5 year old daughter but my partner says that if they are in different beds it's ok and that they are too young to think anything of it.

Am I being over protective?

[AllOfTheCoffee]

I don't know what I was "protecting " my daughter from, I just wasn't sure if boys and girls sharing a room was acceptable

Why wouldn't it be?

If you don't think of him as sexual what did you think would happen? I mean, I guess he could infect her with boy germs or something?!

My dd and her cousin are v close. At 10 they still have sleepovers. Not usually in the same bed because we have spare bed so there's no need, but certainly in the same room. I think my mum and gran have them in the same bed when they sleepover at theirs.

Niether of them are pregant as yet

[Fairenuff]

For all of you arseholes??

What is wrong with you OP?

[thickgit]

Calm down everyone! Gee whizz. Op posed a question because she wasn't sure. Talk about an over reaction from some people. Surely the answers should read "definitely fine" or "I'd see no problem with this" etc as apposed to "you're weird" blah blah blah
Op, I think it's fine at 5 to share a room but I wouldn't be so comfortable with them sharing a bed, though I wouldn't, repeat WOULD NOT, judge anyone else for choosing a different stance to mine

[WellErrr]

Ffs. For all of you arseholes

Oh behave.

[DailyFail1]

I think yabu but having said that if my dd had male friends as a 5 year old I'm not sure how would I have managed sleepovers past childhoodeither. I believe in a start as you mean to go on approach, and think telling a 16 yo dd she can't suddenly have her 16 yo male best friend sleepover (when he's slept over since 5) is deeply unfair. Might be better either not to let them start sharing a room, or just let them continue no matter how old they get.

[stella23]

Call me an arse if you like, you used the term protecting, and male.

If your dd went for a sleep over at some one else's house, regardless of the sex would you feel uncomfortable if your child was asked too sleep in a separate room than the host child?

[RentANDBills]

Boys and Girls can share rooms, its fine OP. not posting for the deletion message, oh no

[BarbarianMum]

At 8 my ds has sleepovers in the same room as his female friend. There will come a time when this is not appropriate but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

[kittymamma]

^What everyone else said... My 5 yo DD has a best friend that is a boy, the only thing that would bother me is that they would get very little sleep and keep the rest of us up with them!

[Celaena]

I think that it would be fine if 2 5 year olds slept in the same room personally

[Ohbehave1]

Fairenuff.

Nothing wrong with me. I am just tired of people putting words into my mouth. I never said boys were sexual predators but it's what many people are implying

[leccybill]

I personally think 5 is far too young for sleepovers outside of family/friends of family anyway

[ghostyslovesheets]

so what IS your issue with them sharing then?

[MrsMattBomer]

You might want to sit down for this one OP.

My son and his female friend who have been friends since they were babies have slept in the same room together at the age of 15! In fact, there's been a few mixed-sex sleepovers with that friendship group as they're more like siblings than friends. What an awful mother I must be, as clearly boys can't be trusted around girls and must be prevented from being near them at all costs!

[KayTee87]

lecy I agree with you but didn't want to say - some close friends are like family though I suppose.

[stella23]

So what was your concern then? Particularly in relation to sex of the child

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

My DS had a female best friend from the age of 5 - they frequently had sleepovers at each others houses and shared a room - we didn't think anything of it. It stopped when they got to about 11 or thereabouts.

[MrsMeeseeks]

Two five year olds?

You've got to be shitting me.

[MuseumOfCurry]

You've got to be shitting me.

A tidy summary of my view on the matter.

[corythatwas]

Eolian Wed 04-Jan-17 20:35:34
"YABU. And I think the view that a 5 year-old girl and boy shouldn't share a room is weird rather than old-fashioned tbh."

A properly old-fashioned view would be to view small children as asexual and consequently not to be included in any discussion about appropriate room sharing etc.

[EllaHen]

Actually, I think 5 is too young for a sleepover. The boy will most likely get homesick and want to go home.

By the way, my dd and ds shared a room for a few years. Through choice.

[KindDogsTail]

I honestly hope you have medically diagnosed anxiety issues because if not...

Why say that to the OP? Gallavich 17:57?

Five year olds do sometimes experiment with each other with 'showing' and touching, just out of curiosity. It may be harmless enough, but if the OP is worried and minds, there is nothing so called "medically" wrong with her. She may even have experiences from her own childhood which make her cautious.

[IrenetheQuaint]

"When I was around the same age my mum had 2 friends with sons my age. When we'd have play dates they'd show me their privates and want to look at and touch mine. I was often made to when I didn't want to."

Happened to me too. I never told anyone but felt ashamed for years. I have absolutely no idea how common this sort of experience is, but the posters jeering at the OP for her concerns make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

[grannytomine]

I thought you meant an adult not a little boy. Yes YABU.