To not let my 5 year old daughter share a room with a male friend

[Ohbehave1]

My partner and I disagree and I don't know if I am being over cautious. We are normally a fairly easy going family but when talking to my partner about one of my daughters friends coming round for a sleepover we disagreed

I didn't think it right that a male friend shares a room with my 5 year old daughter but my partner says that if they are in different beds it's ok and that they are too young to think anything of it.

Am I being over protective?

[Barefootcontessa84]

[Lunar1]

If you have concerns that your daughter is a sexual predator then sleeping in separate rooms is a good idea to protect the little boy from her. FFS

[TroubledTrouble]

No, merely pointing out that the "They're just kids" brigades way of thinking can be harmful too. This stuff happens, has happened to people on this thread and can have serious consequences that affect people for life.

[timelytess]

the posters jeering at the OP for her concerns make me feel slightly uncomfortable
I've come to the conclusion, over a few years, that the majority of MNers live in a cloud-cuckoo land where sex is an annual event between paired adults. No-one takes off their pyjamas and no fluids are spilled.
Most posters can't imagine the kind of thing you are talking about. It's nice that they've had such peaceful, innocent lives but it makes their advice suspect, in my opinion.

[bumsexatthebingo]

Well what are you suggesting? That boys and girls should be supervised at all times?

[zukiecat]

OP You are being totally unreasonable!

Your title does sound as though you meant an older male and not a 5 year old child.

Absolutely no problem with two children sharing a room or even the same bed, they're five

I shared a room with my brother til I was eight and he was ten, my niece and nephew still do and they're eighteen and twenty one, now that is a bit inappropriate, not in a sexual way, but because neither has privacy

Calling people arseholes though is not on though, that's just nasty

[Lovelilies]

Yes, to be fair it wasn't at a sleepover.
I think it's the 'different-ness' that makes for the curiosity

[BarbarianMum]

You don't have to have a sleep over to examine each others bits though do you? We used to manage just fine with a play tent in the garden, boys and girls both.

[TroubledTrouble]

bumsex likely yes, id guess not AS likely considering they have the same bits so the mystery aspect isn't really there.

[bumsexatthebingo]

Is it not equally possible that 2 girls could decide to poke each others bits though? Or 2 boys? (highly bloody likely with 2 boys imo)

[Lovelilies]

I'll join the other PP. my best friend at the time did show and touch stuff. We were 6, and it was all perfectly innocent (I think? 🤔) but I remember him saying he should put his willy in my bits. I even think we tried but obviously it didn't work so we went and made mud pies or something.

So all these BUT THEY'RE BABIES people.... yes. However they may want to 'experiment'.

[Only1scoop]

Odd

[bumsexatthebingo]

YAB ridiculous.

[KindDogsTail]

Irenethequaint I agree with you and the poster you referred to.
The jeering is what is out of place, not the OP.

[crashdoll]

Who calls a 5 year old a "male friend"?? You were clearly inferring something from that. Jesus, we weren't born yesterday....

[grannytomine]

I thought you meant an adult not a little boy. Yes YABU.

[IrenetheQuaint]

"When I was around the same age my mum had 2 friends with sons my age. When we'd have play dates they'd show me their privates and want to look at and touch mine. I was often made to when I didn't want to."

Happened to me too. I never told anyone but felt ashamed for years. I have absolutely no idea how common this sort of experience is, but the posters jeering at the OP for her concerns make me feel slightly uncomfortable.

[KindDogsTail]

I honestly hope you have medically diagnosed anxiety issues because if not...

Why say that to the OP? Gallavich 17:57?

Five year olds do sometimes experiment with each other with 'showing' and touching, just out of curiosity. It may be harmless enough, but if the OP is worried and minds, there is nothing so called "medically" wrong with her. She may even have experiences from her own childhood which make her cautious.

[EllaHen]

Actually, I think 5 is too young for a sleepover. The boy will most likely get homesick and want to go home.

By the way, my dd and ds shared a room for a few years. Through choice.

[corythatwas]

Eolian Wed 04-Jan-17 20:35:34
"YABU. And I think the view that a 5 year-old girl and boy shouldn't share a room is weird rather than old-fashioned tbh."

A properly old-fashioned view would be to view small children as asexual and consequently not to be included in any discussion about appropriate room sharing etc.

[MuseumOfCurry]

You've got to be shitting me.

A tidy summary of my view on the matter.

[MrsMeeseeks]

Two five year olds?

You've got to be shitting me.

[onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad]

My DS had a female best friend from the age of 5 - they frequently had sleepovers at each others houses and shared a room - we didn't think anything of it. It stopped when they got to about 11 or thereabouts.

[stella23]

So what was your concern then? Particularly in relation to sex of the child

[KayTee87]

lecy I agree with you but didn't want to say - some close friends are like family though I suppose.