To think that now I'm doing his washing

[cinnamonswirler]

And staying over six nights a week, I may actually have moved in?

Rabbit - not bothered about what?

I'm not going into more detail about he does for me as it is very outing, but let's just say he takes care of me. If I fancy a jacket potato, I'll put one in the oven and then put the plates in the dishwasher. He has a cleaner

What is the purpose of your question OP ?

"I have my own house but he wants me to go to his each night really. I only don't if either of us have our children or go out with friends."
Just because he wants you to go to his each night - doesn't mean it has to happen. Don't you want to spend time in your own home?

I'm struggling with your thread OP. Do you want to move in with him, or not? Do you want to be his skivvy, or not?

Very confused.

I was severely mentally abused by my last boyfriend who let me pay for everything and then told me how disgusting and fucked up I was. This relationship is nothing like that.

Why are you doing his washing? What did his last slave die from?

He has never had a slave before

Well, it sounds as if he has one now, OP. Why doesn't he come to your house and cook and clean for you there? Are your children old enough to stay home alone, or do you only have them one night a week? And don't you just want to spend time at home sometimes?

Maybe you should post on fetlife

What's with the obfuscation?
Do you actually have an AIBU?
Because you're BU to waste people's time with posts that make no sense!

Is it: AIBU to feel disappointed that the man I love and thought I was de facto living with actually doesn't feel the same about the stage our relationship has reached?

Why on earth would you want to do another adult's washing?

Why do you want to do his washing? Is there a lack of hobbies in your area?

Am I being dense and this is a sub/dom thing??? Frankly I'd rather be spanked in furry handcuffs and a slightly scratchy nylon Ann Summers basque than trot off to someone's house to launder his pants on a nightly basis, mind you.

You're his slave and he takes care of you.

You are a submissive and he is your dom?

I don't know anything about the sexual side you are describing

Have you had treatment since the abusive boyfriend? Freedom programme? You sound awfully conflicted. Like you want to complain but daren't. Like your new boundary for acceptable behaviour is "not as bad as old severely abusive boyfriend"

It is weird to always go to his house. It is weird to do his washing. It is weird that he is OK with either of those. Nevermind the cooking, cleaning and Christmas prep. That's what I am surpised you are not bothered about.

So for six nights a week you presumably sort your children out, and your own house out if your DCs don't have chores to do, then travel to his house where you cook and do washing?

Sounds batshit to me, but whatever floats your boat

And you suggested helping a friend out by having them move into your house and he shot this down in flames, as you would be spending at least the same amount of time at his house as you do currently, possibly a bit more, but either way it would be on a more "official" footing?

Yeah, he's happy to keep things exactly as they are, and why wouldn't he be? Got the lot on a plate.

There has been no quantification of HOW much cooking and cleaning I do, it has been a presumption that it's masses and all of it - which is the case...

So he presumed that you would do all the cleaning even though he has a cleaner?

I wonder OP, does he reciprocate when he comes to your house by doing the cooking, cleaning, washing? I'm guessing not so WTF are you doing it when you go to his house? Unless you have a housework fetish?

Op, i don't understand how describing how the chores are equal it will be outing? Does he go to uour house and do your washing?

He doesn't seem to come to yours, and you seem to do his household chores, I'm assuming he is not paying you as a home help, I think we're all confused how the situation occurred.

I really hope that what he does for you does make up for the fact you always have to go to his and then you do his laundry and cook for him when there. It's surely got to be a lot. The huffy ness would indicate maybe not and uou now feel embarrassed as didn't expect other women to question why uou would do this?

Anyways, no you've not moved in.

Blimey, he's got it made, hasn't he? Someone to clean up, do his laundry, cook for him and free sex for afters. No commitment of course and certainly no payment.

If you're staying at someone's house 6 nights a week, of course you pitch in with the cleaning and do some of the cooking!

OP, it was you who mentioned a discussion about division of labour stating Christmas would not be the right time to have it. Which would suggest it is something you already think should raised at a better time and that you feel you are doing more than him. This really shouldn't be the case, you are a visitor and guest in his home. By all means muck in to tidy any mess you make but to already be doing more than he does plus his washing - can you not see how this is not what most would be doing?

Oh give her a break, you lot, she's probably happy that she's practically moved in with her chap.

You sound like you're being used, but that you totally don't care you are so either clarify your AIBU/question, or go back to your bizarre situation...