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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think being an "apple" is the worst of all the shapes

122 replies

Temporaryname137 · 03/01/2017 14:59

Like lots of people, I've started the NY with the intention of losing weight. The health/fitness benefits go without saying.

BUT even if I shrank to nothing, like mrs pepperpot, I would still have enormous massive horrible boobs and gunt perched on top of skinny legs and no bum. It's less healthy to be this shape and it's virtually impossible to dress, because trousers are all saggy around the arse and hips whilst cutting into the waist, and by the time you've got a top that is big enough to cover the tits and gut, you look three sizes bigger than you really are (or "like a block" as my helpful DP once said when telling me that one oversized top was too oversized!).

If you are a pear, with a nice slinky waist, you can either celebrate your big bum or disguise it with something that makes you look all nipped in at the waist and slim. If you are a rectangle, or an hourglass, you're alright anyway. But being an apple? Awful!

OP posts:
Temporaryname137 · 03/01/2017 14:59

oh, and you can forget about wearing dresses, unless you like looking as if you are smuggling a Michelin tyre around your waist Angry

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 03/01/2017 15:01

I'm a pear. I have very small tits and a big belly and hips.

Together, we make 2 normal sized people Grin

TheTartOfAsgard · 03/01/2017 15:02

I feel your pain. I'm an apple too and I've never had a pair of trousers that fit right. I look like an upside down triangle - broad shoulders and waist but no hips or bum.

donajimena · 03/01/2017 15:04

I am an apple if I gain weight but atm I'm a size 10. When I bemoan my twig like legs I'm often told to eat more cakes..
It doesn't go to my legs or boobs or bum. All on the gut Sad cake eating will not make my legs any bigger!

scampimom · 03/01/2017 15:04

Amen, sister - being an apple sucks. NOTHING looks right. I look like a Terry's Chocolate Orange balanced on a couple of toothpicks.

Bluntness100 · 03/01/2017 15:05

Did you have big boobs before you became apple shaped? Most of us in our youth aren't that shape, although some are.

I think I am probably secretly Apple shaped but i have learned to keep on top of it, and do core exercises as these can help you reduce your tummy, and a good bra helps with the boobs.

For me I don't think any shape is better than the other to be honest, everything comes with its challenges.

Annarose2014 · 03/01/2017 15:05

Yes I agree. I'm an apple who's just had a baby so feel like a pack of Braeburns at the moment.

The only dresses I wear are shift dresses I.e. sacks.

GreatFuckability · 03/01/2017 15:10

I don't even have the big boobs to compensate Grin.

Hellofromtheotherside16 · 03/01/2017 15:10

I know what you mean but you probably have good legs whereas lots of us pears have chunky lumpy legs.

Hellofromtheotherside16 · 03/01/2017 15:11

And cankles.

scampimom · 03/01/2017 15:11

Big boobs and belly here. From the side I look like the letter B. Trousers always seem to be made for pear shapes, as do tops - I wish there was somewhere you could shop by shape, not just size. A few places claim to, but I've not found anything satisfactory yet.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 03/01/2017 15:15

I'm pear shaped but the worse sort: no tits, huge hips and thighs and a flat l, shapeless arse.

Can't buy jeans as they all seem to be skinny ones that even 2 sizes up I can't get past my knees and dresses are either tight on the belly or gaping at the bust.

Try and concentrate on the parts you like and dress to draw attention to that area.

Murphysgirl · 03/01/2017 15:16

It's awful. I'm an apple with a non existent bum and normally scrawny legs. I'm told I have good legs (I hate them!) However the medication I'm on is making my legs and ankles very swollen so don't even have the legs to compensate now!

Murphysgirl · 03/01/2017 15:17

I've found shift dresses suit my shape best.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 03/01/2017 15:18

Hit post too soon. Blush What I'm trying to say is that most of us have parts of our bodies we'd like to swap with someone. I'll bet there are loads of people who'd want your boobs or legs (me included Grin). You are who you are - embrace it.

TitaniasCloset · 03/01/2017 15:18

A big fat apple here too, my belly has always been a problem, even when I was slim. Its a nightmare. I have big chunky arms, enormous boobs and get asked if in pregnant in some dresses. Must be lovely to be a pear shape and have your waist look tiny. Bitches.

Whosthemummynow · 03/01/2017 15:18

At least your a shape.

I'm just fat

DailyFail1 · 03/01/2017 15:19

I'm a pair and have small tits,massive wobbly thighs, bum and an overhanging lower belly despite being a size 12 and working out like a demon. Sure I could nip in my waist but only if I wanted to look like an idiot. At least you can wear mini skirts and distract everyone away from your shape to your no doubt gorgeous legs!!

minipie · 03/01/2017 15:19

As a pear I disagree. All clothes at the moment are made for apples. Shops are full of skinny trousers and loose tops. Fat legs are just not catered for.

scampimom · 03/01/2017 15:19

See sometimes boobs are "in", sometimes it's bums, sometimes it's legs and what have you. But NEVER is the must-have celeb accessory a wobbly great belly. EVER.

Liiinoo · 03/01/2017 15:21

I am an apple but hide it by wearing loose/floaty tops with skinny jeans or jeggings. Have had to give up on dresses though. Sad

scampimom · 03/01/2017 15:21

Oh, and yes to people assuming I'm pregnant. Happens so often I'm not even offended anymore.

ThanksForAllTheFish · 03/01/2017 15:21

I always thought skinny with big boobs was an inverted triangle shape rather than an apple. This is my shape - has been since I was 14. I do tend to gain weight on my tummy and hips but my waist stays small. My boobs never shrink with weight loss and if anything appear to have got bigger over the years - sigh.

Still a pain in the arse shape to dress and easy to look 2 stone heavier than I actually am.

The trousers thing I agree with. I have 2 ancient pairs of jeans that actually fit but are on their last legs, I have searched high and low for replacements but none can be found.

PansyGiraffe · 03/01/2017 15:23

I'm a pear. I admire your slim legs and laugh hollowly at your description of trousers being made for us. The grass is always greener!

scampimom · 03/01/2017 15:24

Fish it sounds more like you're an hourglass, if your waist stays small but you've got hips and boobs.