To want my house guest gone...

[876TaylorMade]

This was my DH's idea....she's here for 3 months!!!
It's annoying me now.

He's also away...he'll be back tomorrow. I'm pregnant and have a toddler... Tired of hosting FFS! I keep having to bite my tongue.. but I want her gone really.

She has rearranged my kitchen ... I'm searching all over to find my things.

She saunters in and cooks what she wants... not a problem. But when making dinner I ask what she doesn't eat she says she'll eat anything. Yet still goes in and makes her own food... She never does this when my DH is here...

We all got horrendous diarrhoea when she made dinner for us all... hence the reason I don't want her food.

She never uses the dishwasher... I've asked. As I believe it saves energy & water.... We run it every two days anyway as its just the three of us normally. But I haven't been able to...and keep having to run half empty loads...as the smell gets too much.

She never uses the washing machine... or refuses to have her things washed with ours. fucking waste!

I've heard her on the phone discussing me... It was 2am, I couldn't sleep...went to the bathroom and overheard.

She torments plays with my DD... the child is always bloody screaming when she goes around her... and not a playful scream. I dont know what to say...

She seems "nice" otherwise...

I hope shes paying to be there

Who is she and why is it down to your DH that she is staying with you?

Kick her out you've got enough to deal with!

another one asking who is it OP?

She makes your dd scream? What on earth is going on?

So many unanswered questions here

Who is she? Why is she there in the first place and why for so long?

Of course you don't have to have her there. Tell her and DP that it just isn't working.

My SIL used to have her partners mum stay for 3 months. It was ridiculous. She comes from another country /culture where it is normal to stay with your child for 3 months. My SIL was fairly chilled about it BUT I think this was as her partner was a SAHD and she went out to work, so wasn't dealing with it every day. Also they didn't speak any mutual language and so no social pressure to entertain. She got her house cleaned from top to toe as well. Also pretty much every weekend the lady was there, my SIL would go to to her own parents house. She made it work for her. You need to do the same. Make it work for you OR it doesn't happen again.

There is another thread on here regarding "guest" outstating their welcome.

Why is she with you for three months? It's not working so can't she go somewhere else?

If she is tormenting your child you have every right to tell her to stop.

You are feeling judged in your own home - tell her to move on.

Im thinking mil too?

Outstaying their welcome.

No reading specs - sorry 🤓🤓🤓

Jeez, I hate drip feeding. Who is she and why is she there?

Mil?
Why the drip feed?

Surely no-one is this much of a doormat?

Not a relative unfortunately.

She's my husbands friend.. and only a friend. She's much older in her 60s. She worked for the family he stayed with when he lived in the Caribbean. They'd always go to cricket etc. He lived there about 12yrs.

It's 3 months because she's come all the way to Australia from the Caribbean... a 2 week trip would have been a bit ridiculous.

This is the most time I've spent with her... it's always been sort of awkward the other meetings...about 3 times. I don't know her and having nothing in common. DH thought it would be nice to have someone from my home to spend some time with me... visa amongst other reasons why my friends or family were ruled out etc.

I didn't have the heart to tell him I think it was a shit idea...

She'll be back when the baby is born in March. While no doubt will be helpful as its just us two... At the moment she's not needed...

Also don't want to squash DH's good intentions...

Get your DH to deal with it. His idea, his mess to clean up. and tell us who she is!

Oops, x-post!

Sorry not a drip feed. Just finished bath time... and struggling to get DD dressed.

Why are people on here more concerned with hurting idiots feelings than protecting their child! If mine had uttered a 'scream' that wasn't play related...words fail me OP.....house guest would be driven to the nearest hotel and DH can shove it, his guest, he hosts! He isn't there? Neither is his guest!!!!

Why wasn't any of that in the op?

You need some proper house rules. You're naive if you think she won't behave in the same way when she comes back in march.

If she's this useless now, I can't see her being any more helpful when the baby is born

More of a hindrance

Tell him you didn't enjoy having her round and you don't want her back for the birth

God, don't let her come back in March !

"I'm finding having guest here while I'm pregnant harder than I thought. It's too much for me. I'm sorry but I need you to leave next week. I hope you understand."

Same line to your DH.

If she torments your child you tell her to stop. Your prioritise your child's tears at being hurt over house guest's tears at being told off.

But it's your home too and you thought it was a shit idea. It's not about having the heart to tell him no. This is affecting you and your dd more than your dh. You should have discussed it properly before she arrived but you can't change that now. Could she afford to stay in a local b & b for a bit or go to stay with other people she might know in this country?

What is she doing for that long? Doesn't she plan to tour the country or visit some other places. 3 months is ages to stay in one place on holiday. I'd find it boring and awkward to stay for that long in someone's house unless I spent all day volunteering or working or something.

I think she changed all the rules when she was talking about you on the phone. I don't think you owe her anything.