Going to a really, really expensive hotel for a wedding. AIBU to want to go back to my student days ??

[YouJustWouldntLetItLieWouldYa]

DP says I am.......I'm saying we can't bloody afford it, never mind £7 or so for a drink each on top.

AIBU in wanting to pull my old student trick of gift wrapping boxes of wine (( to sneak then in innocently ))then having my own wine on tap for the night ?? That way we'd only have to buy one drink.

Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact it's a close family member I'd be pulling a sickie. At least this way we can affordably drown our sorrows at all the money on travel and a hotel we've had to spend 😑😑😑

Actually I think a lot of those comments were directed at people who had done that / regularly did it. I personally don't think many of those comments were directed to you.

Nonetheless we will agree to disagree, hope you make whatever decision works for you

Ive been to quite a few weddings that were alcohol free, were still perfectly enjoyable and a lovely celebration of the couple getting married (the lack of tea with the cake was a whole other hardship; but then various aunts / cousins do belong to a strange religious sect which accounted for it!)

Also been to ones you need to pay for drinks outside of ones provided for toasts / wine with meal

I think paying for drink has become normal as the wedding event has got longer and longer. Thirty or forty years ago the bride and groom would leave for the honeymoon directly after the meal speeches etc and it wouldn't be an all day and all night event, so alcohol costs would be limited and more likely to be affordable and limited to the meal and maybe a drink to toast the couple.

Now weddings tend to last far longer and incorporate an evening do and it isn't feasible to fund a whole evening of binge drinking for friends and extended family for most people, which at even a modest wedding at a cheap venue could run to a bill of several thousand pounds as the 'kid in a sweetshop mentality' grabs some jakey cunts valued guests.

With a few exceptions, every wedding I've been to has been a case of drink at arrival on the reception, bottles of wine provided on the table during the meal and a drink for the toast. Beyond that point pay for drinks yourself during the evening event/disco.

Which is completely normal and expected at most weddings, except in Mumsnet where couples shouldn't have the nerve to invite anyone unless they can fund an extended boozeathon

Yy gil was at a vairy naice wedding in Central Scotland- didn't realise was open bar, until went to pay- the couple at the bar next to me then swiftly upgraded their order to premium spirits and beer think Gordons to Bloom gin etc. twunts!

Our wedding had a cash bar in the evening. Nobody had to buy a drink though - each guest was provided with two glasses of Pimms and lemonade (at the ceremony venue), two glasses of sparkling wine (one on arrival at the reception venue, one for toasts) and wine on the tables during dinner. We'd allowed half a bottle per person, but as some drank very little the free wine lasted until about 11pm.

We also made sure the small number of evening guests (who mostly lived locally) were provided with drinks on arrival.

There was a cash bar available though, for anyone who wanted to drink more or drink something else.

I've only been to one wedding where no alcohol was provided, and that was due to the hosts' religious beliefs. Even that one was in a hotel with a bar, and nobody (hosts or guests) had a problem with people making use of it.

I think that if you go to a wedding, you should pay for most of your drinks. Food costs can be controlled - but drinks, well some people clearly enjoy a drink or two and the costs could clearly escalate.

It's a shame that drinks are expensive - but hotels do need to make a profit and have costs.

Of course, if costs are an issue, then you don't need to go to the effort of a large hotel. Other venues are available although they might not be as grand. But surely it's about the people, the guests and not the venue?

There is no way I could have afforded a free bar at my wedding. I'd already cut costs where I could (late afternoon ceremony, no sit down meal, sports club for a venue, no favours, camping in England for honeymoon, doing own food and decorating).

However, I put money behind the bar at the pub over the green from the church so guests who chose could have a free drink whilst we were doing photos. I bought Pimms and massive barrels of proper "Zummerzet zoider" from a cider farm near Glastonbury and basically told my guests on the invites that they could knock themselves out on cider and pimms but for anything else they wanted - there was a pay-bar at the venue.

As far as I'm aware everyone was entirely happy with the arrangement. The barrels were drained, the bar was doing a roaring trade and. Good time was had by all.

Nor did I arrange or pay for travel or accommodation for out of the area guests. Those who couldn't or wouldn't pay didn't come.

OP, if I was seeing a close family member sneaking alcohol and drinking from a handbag, behaving like a total chav, I would absolutely take her aside and give her a massive tell off.

If you were a random guest, it wouldn't be my place to say anything. I would just tell the hotel staff to keep an eye on you: if you need to smuggle alcohol, it does mean you intend to get hammered. Otherwise, a glass or two would be enough, wouldn't it.

It's embarrassing and disrespectful for the bride and groom who invited you. Of course, in real life I wouldn't make a scene and spoil the wedding. You ask people what they think of your planned behaviour. Sadly for you, some of us think it's not an appropriate one. This is real life my dear, not everybody is amused by rude people.

I've taken vodka miniatures in my handbag to a wedding when I was on a lower salary than I am now, but I've always made sure to alternate between buying a vodka and mixer and just a mixer. The venue was then losing less in revenue so I felt less guilty I haven't done it for years though.

On the flip side, I've worked in a function suite where I've had to confiscate nearly full bottles of JD, Glens vodka and Jagermeister that I've seen under tables (obviously, the owners have been told they can have them back at the end of the night), and someone at a different wedding got the gift bag trick a bit wrong and actually had their bottle of red out on the table during the meal. They were most displeased when I took that away from them!

Haven't RTFT.

Anyone mentioned one of these yet?

Or one of these

Or even one of these?

Just don't drink. It's not obligatory to get pissed at a wedding.

What a genius idea!

I thought everyone did this? Only drink it in your room though.

Is there no booze provided at all ? How odd. Otherwise if you can't afford it just have the toast and drink water (you will feel much better in the morning).

I have a beautiful antique black velvet evening coat - perfect for hiding wine bottles under. Ive also attended an event I wearing a 50s dress with large net petticoat under which were concealed 2 bottles of Pimms, decanted into pouches bought on Amazon.

The only wedding I've been to with a free bar was held in the bride's parents back garden (with some gazebos, in Scotland, and it pissed down!) The norm for everything we've been to has been, roughly, some sort of drink on arrival at reception/after ceremony (normally sparkling wine), wine with dinner, and normally a first bar drink/drink with speeches paid for too depending on the order of events.

We did however check how expensive drinks were when we chose our wedding venue - they were standard pub prices, as have most of the venues our friends have chosen.

When we got married 11 years ago we did quick booze trip to France bringing back 24 bottles of our favourite champagne and 12 each of red and white wine at reasonable cost so no one had to buy wine and there was some left for evening too. We also paid bar bill for all soft drinks and as wanted all guest to feel welcome and not under financial strain. We hired banqueting hall and caters and were not charged corkage.it can be done at reasonable cost just needs good planning.

I've never heard if that.

DH sometimes has a hip flask? Not necessarily for weddings, just in general. Maybe that would be an option as well?

Laguna
We used to do that at gigs back in the 70s but in reverse. We'd buy a quarter or third of a bottle of brandy and then smuggle it into the gig, and buy a Coke at the bar, then surreptitiously add the brandy to it!

BTW I agree with Craigie. You don't need to get blotto at a wedding, or anywhere come to that! I don't drink any more.

We had a free bar. It was in a private members club so expensive drinks but didn't cost much in the scheme of a wedding- just under £1,000 I think. People generally don't drink so much after a day of table wine/ fizz etc. Well, some do, lol

The people I know who have been most vermently against free drinks are right arses who cant bear the idea that someone might get something out of them for nothing. They include my BIL who had a pay bar in a marquee and my friend who had her reception in a community centre and couldn't even bear to splash out on proper food for everyone. Both weddings were grim, dripping in cost cutting and the misery emulating from the B&G because they'd had to part with some £££

Blimey
The (provided by b and g)welcome drink, the wine with meal and wine for toast ,with maybe one drink from bar are usually enough for me at a wedding I'm obviously just a light weight
I cannot imagine in a milllion years doing this
Though I must admit I have been known to take a bottle of gin on hotel holidays and have a G and T in room before dinner. Does that redeem me ?

We had a free bar as well.

But a bit chocolate and coffee bar with a mulled wine option. And alchol for spiking it... :)!

But our guests didn't have to pay for any drinks.

Both weddings were grim, dripping in cost cutting

When I was younger, that kind of attitude towards an event you have been invited to would have been referred to as snobbery.

Now-a-days it appears to be vulgar and "grim" on the part of the couple to get married within their means

I'm so glad I'm not part of this culture. It's distasteful.

It wasn't within their means NewNN. They both have plenty of money. They just don't like to spend it on other people.