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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is Dh for not getting checked out

148 replies

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:01

Just that really, my dh feels like his left arm is numb/heavy for the last 2-3 hours with slight pins and needles in hand. He has a tendency to think the worst but normally he won't go to the Drs unless it's really bad but this time he called 111. They got a paramedic to call him back who said our nearest out of hours dr had closed their books but he could be seen 35miles away at another one. They also said he needs to be seen, but hubby is now saying if it gets worse I can take him to A&E but he's not dragging the kid out to drive 35 miles for nothing or to be told they are keeping him there. Part of me thinks he's right but I do think he should just let me take him
Sorry for the essay

OP posts:
backwardpossom · 01/01/2017 23:09

I think he should go. Can you get someone to sit with the kids - a neighbour or something? I know it's late, but maybe someone could? Or could he get a taxi?

WorraLiberty · 01/01/2017 23:11

Ask him why he called 111 then? Confused

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:13

I checked the taxi idea but he won't go aloneHmm and no one to sit with the kids but they are 12 &13 so could handle be dragged out he's being stubborn now and I don't know whether to worry or give up and wait it out.

OP posts:
DJBaggySmalls · 01/01/2017 23:13

Tell him if it gets worse it cold go bad too fast, he needs to go now, like they said.
If he refuses, call an ambulance.

LightsLoveLaughter · 01/01/2017 23:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:15

Exactly worra I mean this is a man who waits till he has bronchitis for 2weeks before going the Drs so he must be worried/in pain and now he's acting like I'm worrying over nothing Angry

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 01/01/2017 23:17

Does he know that the potential causes of this are?

He really needs to be seen.

ChocoChou · 01/01/2017 23:17

I would tell the 13yo to mind the fort and leave them with a mobile if they are sensible enough? He should go...

AtSea1979 · 01/01/2017 23:18

Why not just got to a&e instead?

DailyFail1 · 01/01/2017 23:19

Call an ambulance

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:20

I couldn't leave them to drive that far away with no idea how long we'd be.
If he gets worse I would call an ambulance or drive him to local A&E (15mins) but right now I think he just needs out of hours dr and I don't want to waste services that are over stretched already. I guess that's my answer isn't it ?
Why are men so crap at this? I would have just jumped in the cab and left him with the kids of it was role reversed but no he's reverted to a child scared to go alone Hmm

OP posts:
WonkoTheSane42 · 01/01/2017 23:22

Worst case scenario if he goes and it's no big deal - a bit of hassle.

Worst case scenario if he doesn't go and it IS a big deal - he has a heart attack and dies.

Sorry to put it so bluntly, but that's what it boils down to. Get him to go.

PurpleDaisies · 01/01/2017 23:22

You won't be wasting services, you've been advised to seek medical attention by a paramedic. Confused

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:28

Thank you all, I've just shown him this thread to convince him that I should at least take him to the local A&E but he's got all defensive and stropped off to bed saying I'm making him worry more and maybe it's trapped wind ? Not much else I can do other than keep an eye on him and pray it's nothing.

OP posts:
FarAwayHills · 01/01/2017 23:32

Hope all is ok OP. My DH also does this - makes a big fuss about being unwell, worries me silly and then refuses to do anything about it.Angry

Birdsgottafly · 01/01/2017 23:35

""Call an ambulance""

It isn't an emergency, so an ambulance is a misuse of the service.

OP, trapped wind, has he started having an indigestion type pain?

Keep an eye on him and hopefully he'll go somewhere in the morning.

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:36

Thank you faraway. Nice to know I'm not alone, he's never done this before but has a tendency to call a cold flu or a headache a migraine etc you get the idea never stops him working thoughHmm even with the bronchitis last month he had to collapse before he went the dr who duly bollocked him and told him his chest sounded the worst he'd heard this year ! Twunt I do love him but he's a bloody twunt
Sorry can you tell I'm wound up ?

OP posts:
NameSux · 01/01/2017 23:36

My dad does this. He's just out of hospital after having a stroke (and trying to drive afterwards cos there was 'nothing wrong"). When I was 13 he lost the sight in 1 eye, hid it for 3 days then my mam had to drive him to hosp 32 miles away while I was out. He was rushed to surgery for a detached retina and I came home and looked after myself until mam came back later that night. Leave the kids, go to doctor

Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 01/01/2017 23:38

Birds. He has an ongoing problem with acid reflux it does seem worse today but he will blame everything (inc bronchitis) on the blessed reflux.

OP posts:
Iggi999 · 01/01/2017 23:39

How do you know it isn't an emergency though?
Has he tried something that would help if it was indigestion? Why would that make his arm feel funny?
I would be happy leaving my 9 year old in this situation (with a phone) but you know your own kids.

MillionToOneChances · 01/01/2017 23:41

You're talking about a numb arm, and he's putting it down to trapped wind? That suggests chest pain too, surely? It screams heart attack. Get a neighbour to sit with the kids and drive him to A&E or call an ambulance if he gets worse. If he didn't mention the 'trapped wind' on phone to 111 might be worth phoning them back as sometimes they can pre-triage you and get you seen more quickly.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN · 01/01/2017 23:41

Sounds like a trapped nerve?

He should go. But to be honest I probably wouldn't either.

Ehlana · 01/01/2017 23:42

Go to A&E, go now.

MillionToOneChances · 01/01/2017 23:42

Ambulance if he gets worse I mean. Numb arm/pins and needles plus chest pain equals A&E even if it doesn't worsen, I'd have thought.

HateSummer · 01/01/2017 23:42

Could be a trapped nerve which can cut off blood supply to the arm and be potentially life threatening. I was called in to the GP's in an emergency once when I had severe neck and arm pain with tingling and pins and needles because they were worried something else might have happened.

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