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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sad about DS's GF?

89 replies

tripletrouble · 31/12/2016 18:52

He is 16 and has a girlfriend for the first time. She is lovely, and he is happy- but I miss him! He is staying over at her place for New Years Eve- the first time he has not been home for NYE. I want to be happy for him, but cannot help thinking of the old rhyme - a daughter is your daughter all your life, your son is your son till he takes a wife. I do not want to be one of those MIL everyone hates, but we miss him and so do his sisters, and the house is very quiet without him! Any Mumsnet words of wisdom?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/12/2016 18:55

Any Mumsnet words of wisdom?

Yes. Punch yourself in the face every time you find yourself repeating that god awful rhyme.

BravoPanda · 31/12/2016 18:55

Invite her to your house to stay over soon and make her feel welcome too :) he'll be at yours more often then too.

Soubriquet · 31/12/2016 18:56

They gotta grow up sometime

Let him be happy. You've had him for 16 years. Let go and be proud of the son you've raised

Rubberubberduckduck · 31/12/2016 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bunnylove99 · 31/12/2016 18:58

I dont hsve much wisdom but YANBU. I would be sad too. But you have mentioned two huge pluses in your post: gf is lovely; you still have DDs at home. How would you feel is gf was a boot and DS your only child? Always look on brightside and enjoy NYE. And you don't sound like you will make a nightmare MIL!

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2016 18:58

If it helps, I never spent New Year's Eve at home after the age of 16.

That mantra thing you're on about is rubbish.

Bobtheblob · 31/12/2016 18:58

Well one of my SIL's and I both see more of our joint IL's than of our own sides of our own families so it's not always true. It depends on the family! My IL's made me feel part of the family from day 1.

mayemerald · 31/12/2016 18:59

I'll get flamed but i do think there is some truth in that rhyme. At least you have daughters :)

CurbsideProphet · 31/12/2016 18:59

The alternative is that he never meets anyone and stays at home with you forever!

Musicaltheatremum · 31/12/2016 19:00

Ha ha, he's 16! Don't overthink it. Just try and be pleasant towards her so he'll bring her home. My son's girlfriend and I message each other from time to time. She's 19 he's 21.

Crispsheets · 31/12/2016 19:01

What a ridiculous thing to think. Its nauseating.
My ds is 17 and has a girlfriend. They spend more time here than at hers. Possibly because she has a single bed 😂

NavyandWhite · 31/12/2016 19:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CurbsideProphet · 31/12/2016 19:02

My DP sees his mum regularly and took several weeks off work to look after her when she had major surgery Smile

BuzzoffBoob · 31/12/2016 19:02

I think that old rhyme is a load of rubbish tbh. Don't concern yourself with it.

angryangryyoungwoman · 31/12/2016 19:03

Worra Grin

Laiste · 31/12/2016 19:04

You'd be more worried if he was sat at home year after year wouldn't you though? Flowers

We raise kids to be happy adults. Happy adults spread their wings and enjoy life without a guilt complex about their parents. Keep reminding yourself of this. And yes, invite her round for dinner one eve soon and welcome them wholeheartedly as a couple. It will make all the difference to how much you see of him from now on if you can do this with all his GFs.

FannyCradock · 31/12/2016 19:06

At least you know where he is and won't be getting a call at 3am to pick him up from some random house party.

bimbobaggins · 31/12/2016 19:06

My 13 year old ds is going to a friends house to stay tonight so I'll be on my own. I'm happy that he's got nice friends to spend time with .

Yellowbird54321 · 31/12/2016 19:09

Aw OP, my words of wisdom would be: I understand how you're feeling but it's all part of them growing up, so in that way it's as it should be, and don't worry you've not lost him - they do come back Wink Flowers

Groovee · 31/12/2016 19:13

Dd is 16, no boyfriend we know off but has a very active social life!

Benedikte2 · 31/12/2016 19:14

If you don't nag him but just give a hug when he comes home and tell him it was strange without him etc he'll stick around. If you make him feel guilty etc he'll not feel the same about you. Hard but that's what good mothers have to do if they want happy autonomous children.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2016 19:14

As the mother of 3 boys (one of whom has left home), I can guarantee your sons are your sons for the rest of your life.

Especially if they don't have a fucking washing machine or happen to be 'just passing' when they know you're cooking a fry-up Hmm Grin

TrillKitten · 31/12/2016 19:15

Sod NYE plans; put yourself in time out and have a serious think about whether you know we're entering 2017. Quit it with that gross sexist crap already.

WonderMike · 31/12/2016 19:15

My advice would be to consider whether you'd still want him at home under your feet in 30 years time Grin

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 31/12/2016 19:16

Your rhyme is sexist drivel. No wonder we have all these MIL threads if you've already decided women are out there just trying to steal your son away from you.

There's nothing wrong with missing the company of your DS, but the way you've framed it is awful.

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