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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be sad about DS's GF?

89 replies

tripletrouble · 31/12/2016 18:52

He is 16 and has a girlfriend for the first time. She is lovely, and he is happy- but I miss him! He is staying over at her place for New Years Eve- the first time he has not been home for NYE. I want to be happy for him, but cannot help thinking of the old rhyme - a daughter is your daughter all your life, your son is your son till he takes a wife. I do not want to be one of those MIL everyone hates, but we miss him and so do his sisters, and the house is very quiet without him! Any Mumsnet words of wisdom?

OP posts:
stella23 · 31/12/2016 19:16

I'll get flamed but i do think there is some truth in that rhyme. At least you have daughters smile = SMOG

Bumpsadaisie · 31/12/2016 19:19

TBH if my son was cool enough to have got himself a gf at 16 i would be proud as punch (as well as worried about him getting her pregnant but lets not dwell on that!)

mayemerald · 31/12/2016 19:21

I don't have any children stella! I definitely think it's preferable to have a son who has a social life and girlfriend just that personally I think boys get swept into their girlfriends family more than vice versa if that makes sense.

fallenempires · 31/12/2016 19:23

Aww that's lovely to hear.Don't be sad about it,he's growing up and it's natural that he wants to spend time with his gf & you should be happy that he's welcomed into her home by her family.
Anyhow that means more Wine for you tonight doesn't it?!

MycatsaPirate · 31/12/2016 19:24

My 18 year old DD is out with her friends tonight in a nightclub miles from home.

Be grateful you know your son is safe in a house and not out getting pissed with a load of strangers.

fallenempires · 31/12/2016 19:26

Oh & fwiw a year ago he had an awful gf from an equally awful family so I honestly couldn't be any happier!

pipsqueak25 · 31/12/2016 19:27

they grow up quick, roots to grow and wings to fly. be proud he is well adjusted and sensible, he's young, there be plenty of parties and fun in the future. happy new year ! Smile

Lozzie12 · 31/12/2016 19:30

I could have written this post for my 17 year old ds, feeling a little sad that he's gone but happy he's happy and I have my family here. I am proud that he's turning out to be a lovely young man but never thought it would be so hard to let him go. Enjoy your New Year's Eve and wishing all the best for you, your son and family in the year ahead.

AnyFucker · 31/12/2016 19:32

I have a daughter who supposedly still lives at home

I haven't seen her since Wednesday Xmas Smile

LockedOutOfMN · 31/12/2016 19:34

Nothing wrong with missing him. Think of something fun to do with the rest of the family and he'll be home tomorrow and no doubt annoying you all by eating all the food/using all the hot water/having smelly feet, etc...

PUGaLUGS · 31/12/2016 19:34

Me too AF with DS2.

AnyFucker · 31/12/2016 19:35

She might appear at the sniff of a roast dinner tomorrow....

fallenempires · 31/12/2016 19:36

Happy days AF!Xmas Smile

NerrSnerr · 31/12/2016 19:37

Not many 16 year olds will be spending New Years at home whether they're in a relationship or not will they? Don't make him feel bad for growing up.

haveacupoftea · 31/12/2016 19:37

I would feel sad too, but take solace in the fact they'll probably split up in a few weeks Xmas Wink

TheFairyCaravan · 31/12/2016 19:38

Sons are yours for life. My gran had 2 boys, my dad and uncle were there for until the day she died. Once she was widowed they both phoned daily and visited weekly. My dad travels all over the world, he still phoned her.

I've got 2 sons, 22&20. I can't see a day when they won't phone, text, Skype or visit. DS1 is in the army, he's Skyped me in the middle of night because it was the only time he could and he thought it was better than nothing. DS2 is at uni and texts most days.

They grow up and move on, that's life, but you'll always be his mum.

AnyFucker · 31/12/2016 19:39

Hehe

When our kids were young we would bemoan our lack of opportunity to go out to NY parties etc

Now both of mine are out this evening and DH and I are staying in out of choice

C'est last vie

Chelazla · 31/12/2016 19:41

Poor op! Thought she'd get a bit of support....! I 100% agree the number of Aibu u see about mil compared to mothers must mean something!

CombineBananaFister · 31/12/2016 19:42

Yes, yes, the rhyme is a bit naff but the feeling is not, it's ok to be a bit sad when they become independent or grow up and reach a milestone (boy or girl) It's normal but it's lovely that he's happy and that you will get some time to yourself. Enjoy !!

pictish · 31/12/2016 19:43

Our eldest is 15 and spending his first new year away from us round at his friend's place. I'm fine with it. We're being pretty boring with gin and Trivial Pursuit at home.

LilQueenie · 31/12/2016 19:45

You don't want to be the kind of MIL.... how long have they been together? I would not be worrying.

Ohdearducks · 31/12/2016 19:46

Worra GrinGrinGrin

JustCallMeKate · 31/12/2016 19:47

FFS. Are you for real OP? Just wait until they've all gone then you can really relax run around the house naked having wild sex wherever you want Jesus Christ I have 4 who've all left home and as much as I love them I love having my life back and doing what the hell I want. ☺

MrsGuyOfGisbo · 31/12/2016 19:50

At least you know where he is and won't be getting a call at 3am to pick him up from some random house party
Oh yes!
My 16 yo DS is going to a party tonight and vague about where - 'it's in Wimbledon' - I wish he as going to a named, seen, lovely GF's family house Grin

ArmySal · 31/12/2016 19:51

Aww, I can remember being sad the first Christmas my brother spent with his girlfriend instead of at home with the rest of us OP.

He probably rings my mum more than me and my sisters do as adults though, and calls in more regularly.