AIBU to be sad about DS's GF?

[tripletrouble]

He is 16 and has a girlfriend for the first time. She is lovely, and he is happy- but I miss him! He is staying over at her place for New Years Eve- the first time he has not been home for NYE. I want to be happy for him, but cannot help thinking of the old rhyme - a daughter is your daughter all your life, your son is your son till he takes a wife. I do not want to be one of those MIL everyone hates, but we miss him and so do his sisters, and the house is very quiet without him! Any Mumsnet words of wisdom?

I feel like I'm the teenager at times. I'm sat there saying "shouldn't you be on a park somewhere snogging and drinking white lightning instead of sitting on NYE watching Dragons Den with us?" and they look at me like I've just started shooting up heroin.

DS2 is out at least (OK, he's over the road at his friend's house and I can literally see him through the window, but still!)

Good rhyme ans very true.

I haven't had any dcs yet but when I do I hope to high hravens that I don't have sons as going by MN I'd be tainted as satan if I offered a thirsty man a drink.

omg lose the rhyme quick

Be proud that you've brought up a lovely young lad that has made a good choice about his girlfriend and is growing in to an independent young man. Well done you!

Yabu. He's having a great time with a lovely girl. Would you rather he be at home miserable?

My 16 year old is upstairs playing on a game. We usually go to a friend's on NYE but are just relaxing at home tonight. He'd love a GF!
My 14 year old dd is at a friend's sleepover. I will miss her at the Bells but as long as she's happy I'm happy. And we meet back up tomorrow for a family meal. That rhyme is awful - he'll always be your son! Time to loosen those apron strings bit by bit ...

Punch yourself in the face every time you find yourself repeating that god awful rhyme

Worra Could not agree more! I have 4 DSs (oldest 16 but no girlfriend) and can't believe how many people feel the need to repeat that ridiculous rhyme to me - need to exercise extreme restraint to avoid punching them in the face being very rude.

DH is just as close to his mum as when he was single (apart from i now get the lovely job of sewing his holey shirts ). In fact we spent Christmas day at his mum's (and have done for the last 3 years) and will be going over to hers for a roast tomorrow.

I am still closer to my mum but always make it as fair as possible on both mums who are equally important. I'm pretty certain all of my friends have similar relationships with their MILS. Don't worry

He's gone out for the night.
Not left home forever.
Or gone no contact.
Or worse.

Thank you for all the helpful messages! They have helped me see this in perspective. Happy New Year!

tass1960 my job is done

Yes, and job very well done too. That's exactly as it should be. Similar successful launch of two healthy, intelligent, independent, loving and lovable males here too. They wil be my sons for as long as I live, no matter where they are, no matter how far away no matter who they love and are loved by. They each have chosen wonderful, strong and amazing women as their partners, they already have a mother and don't need another, and while I miss them, I'm happy and fulfilled and proud. I don't need to have them tied to my apron strings or in or even close to my house to know they love me. I did what I set out to do as a parent and gave them the tools to be able to live as they want to live.

That's so lovely to read ES, I hope that will be me in a few years time

I have a DS aged 15 who's just introduced us to his new girlfriend. She seems very nice. I'm very glad for him, also that he has many good friends, as does DD(17)

Lots to be glad about, and thankful for.

That rhyme is the truest thing I ever heard. Op the answer is to invite them round to you on high days and holidays no? (Even if you only have a small house/suffer from social anxiety/don't want to tidy up etc)

EuropeanSwallow,

What a lovely post. So much sense.

It sounds like your sons' partners have hit the jackpot, not only by having them in their lives, but also their generous, supportive yet matter-of-fact, non-interfering Mother!

OP,

I don't have mid-teen sons myself, but several of my close friends do. If I could offer this small (objective) observation, it's that the relaxed, no-pressure households, with an "everyone welcome and everyone pitches in equally" vibe definitely win out.

Even when, like you, those same Mums have initially struggled with feeling slightly abandoned in favour of GF's family. They simply kept up the casual-but-inclusive invites to Sunday lunches/ movie outings etc., with no guilt-tripping attached (hard at times!).

It was often the GFs themselves who were then genuinely keen to spend equal time at the DSs' homes. After all, novelty wears off and no-one ever sees their own parents/ family as others do: depending on her own sibling set-up, it might well turn out that GF really appreciates time at yours hanging out with your DDs, and chatting with an adult interested in her?).