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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is no way my baby will ever manage a Gina Ford routine?

313 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 20:38

Someone recommended the Gina Ford book to me. Read it through and just laughed! There is no chance my 9 week old DS would manage that routine!

I am wanting to get him a little more structure after Christmas but according to Gina Ford he should be sleeping through from 10:30-7am by now. DS goes no longer than 3 hours between feeds and only feeds for 5-10 mins at a time. Gina says I should be doing 20 minutes on one breast and then 10 minutes on another- how on earth is someone suppose to force a baby take this much?

Gina Ford has gone back on the bookshelf never to be read again. But if anyone has any sensible advice about how to promote longer sleeping at night, or a good day time routine then please share!

OP posts:
Philoslothy · 30/12/2016 22:19

I don't think most babies, especially at 8 weeks do need a routine from 7am until 7pm.

minifingerz · 30/12/2016 22:22

Ab - the majority of babies in the uk over are having formula by the time they're 7 days old. It's legal, it's common. It's the norm. Midwives and HV's don't need tell mothers they must breastfeed who have said they don't want to do it. Why would they? They have plenty of mums who want to breastfeed who need their support and encouragement to get through the early challenges.

ArieltheMermaid1720 · 30/12/2016 22:22

Gina Ford worked well for both of mine, one bottle fed the other breast fed. I'm not a relaxed person and wasn't a particularly confident mum, especially with my first so it really helped me mentally to have some guidance. However, that's all it is, guidance. I never followed her routines religiously, but used them more as an aid to give my day structure. Both mine are brilliant sleepers, might be luck or might be routine.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 30/12/2016 22:22

We sort of did Gina Ford. But not to the letter. Worked for us but DD was formula fed and I can't see how it would work with a bf baby. Actually, neither was FF and GF didn't work for him. Think it depends on the baby.

Champagneformyrealfriends · 30/12/2016 22:22

Nephew not neither

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 22:24

Wow, didn't realise it was such a big topic!

I am not expecting DS to sleep through the night yet, but a nice 4/5 hour stretch would make me feel a lot better!

We do use the EASY routine but sometimes I just feel like I don't know what I am doing. DS can be extremely cranky and I am always doubting what I'm doing is right. I try and get him to sleep at the first sign of crankyness, but he would rarely be awake if I didn't try to distract him when cranky.

He can often sleep in the afternoon from 2-5pm. We do bath at 6:30, then story, feed and bed for 7pm.

He self settles no problem, I put him down awake at 7 and he is usually asleep by 7:30. I sometimes go back in to put his dummy back in but rarely. In the night i take him from the crib (side sleeper) and keep the room dark, no talking etc. He goes back down after a feed with no problems usually until around 4am when he is harder to settle so I tend to put him in with me.

OP posts:
Ab1000 · 30/12/2016 22:25

Minifingerz thank you for the clarification. My point is that there was no encouragement or advice on bottle feeding by my Hv only disapproval that I didn't bf.

RubyRoseViolet · 30/12/2016 22:25

I used the sleeping and feeding times with Dd and she was very settled in that routine. The "colicky" hours in the early evening disappeared overnight. I loathed the way she wrote and ignored the rest but as a single mum with pnd that routine made me feel calm and ordered and helped Dd sleep pretty well.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 30/12/2016 22:28

OP it actually sounds like you are doing just fine for baby's age 👍👍👍

Keep at it and fully enjoy it for what it is. Time goes too fast. You'll catch up on all that sleep one day! Annoying but true 😄

G1raffePicnic · 30/12/2016 22:29

Easy didn't work for us. We did sort of the opposite I think in as far as it goes

Sort of wake, play a bit, feed, sleep. Often slept on me curled up on the sofa while I watched box sets in the early days. Lovely memories. You can't spoil a baby.

Muddlingthroughtoo · 30/12/2016 22:29

I loved Gina Ford, used the routine with both my children and I have never had any problems with bedtimes or sleeping. Yes, I breastfed...my first for 6 months and my second for 2 months. You have to take what she says and adapt it to you, I didn't follow it religiously. She give my life routine and made us a happy mum and baby.

bibbetybobbetybooo · 30/12/2016 22:32

OP - unless you need to be up at what we, as adults,consider to be normal times -try to just relax and go with it. Try to sleep when the baby does; feed when the baby needs it and don't worry about any perceived routine. As adults, we don't sleep for long periods of time - we just settle ourselves back to sleep and often don't realise that we've properly woken up. Cosleeping is so helpful if you're breastfeeding, as baby can literally latch straight on and therefore isn't woken up.

For the poster who said that formula is the norm. Isn't that a sad statement? Formula shouldn't be the norm. Breastmilk is the biological norm for our species.

Madshiplollipop · 30/12/2016 22:36

What Ab1000 also said.

Ohyesiam · 30/12/2016 22:42

I once had a which look at a gf book and was appalled.
If you want routine, there is a much more child friendly book The Baby Whisperer, more about picking up on their cues . I expect this I'd old new now as mine are 10 and 12, but of a good " middle way " if you need more structure.

Helloitsme87 · 30/12/2016 22:52

Gina ford is a twat

Rinceoir · 30/12/2016 23:18

Any routines I tried fell down at the "drowsy but awake" point when DD was small. I got very wound up about her poor naps when she was very small and tried following EASY and GF briefly. EASY did not work as DD would not be put down awake but drowsy and would happily stay awake all day. Gina Ford schedules didn't work as there was no way my DD would go longer than 2 hours between feeds at that point, and would nap for longer than 45mins. However she did sleep through the night from 8 weeks of her own accord so I soon decided this was more important!

RedStripeIassie · 30/12/2016 23:54

I never read any books on babies. I asked my mum and big sisters a lot but all the advice is good for some babies and not for others.

I know what GF is about and it wouldn't have gone down well with baby dd! She wanted to sleep on me all the time and breastfeed when she felt like it. Didn't sleep through the night till she was 2 and still spends most of the night in my bed.

I have a horrible memory of her being about 6 weeks and my mum made me leave her crying for an hour because 'she's safe and fed and nothings wrong with her'. It was horrible for both of us and I don't know why I listened. Sleep deprivation makes you cling to any hope from an experienced person. Sounds like GF is making money off that.

G1raffePicnic · 31/12/2016 00:02

So many people seem to have that "but changed, fed, nothing wrong with them" therefore okay to leave to cry attitude. One of my health visitors did similar to your mum and it was awful.

RedStripeIassie · 31/12/2016 00:06

I've never forgiven myself. I picked her up when my mum had gone to bed and she was shaking and took the boob for two seconds and fell asleep. I hated myself for going along with it. It felt against all my instincts. Sad

AverageJosephine · 31/12/2016 00:12

I thought it was amazing how all my babies did Gina F's routine without me implementing it. The sleeping through was hit and miss depending on which baby but the daytime was bang on. I think there's a lot to be said for her understanding of how babies ebb and flow in general but there's plenty of exceptions to the rule so no point stressing if your baby doesn't seem to work in a GF way.

SeaweedSa1ad · 31/12/2016 00:12

I loved Gina Ford, she saved my sanity, my life and gave me much needed structure.

Tbf though, we only started when Baby was over 3 months old - right around the time when I could no longer keep up with feeding on demand, cuddling to sleep and being awake half the night every night. Lack of routine almost broke me.

The contented little baby routine is only a book, only a guide: no one has to follow it to the letter, why would anyone? You wouldn't read any other kind of book and assume to follow that advice verbatim, so why this one in particular? Her writing style is a bit hectoring, but she's not writing a novel, just a guide book.

Willyoujustbequiet · 31/12/2016 00:15

Its the biggest pile of crap

She doesn't have a clue not being a parent. Ignore ignore ignore

G1raffePicnic · 31/12/2016 01:05

It does seem it only works if its what your baby happens to be doing naturally...

I'm so glad I fed on demand until over a year, and then I'd just say later.

BlackeyedSusan · 31/12/2016 01:12

ds had his own four hourly routine. dd on the other hand...

dd's difficulties have continued. she has a lifelong condition. no amount of routine would have made her fit the routine. god it was hell at the time, but I got her through it and she is a wonderful sleeper now. (and has been for years, before you panic and think it took 10 years!)

Chaphart77 · 31/12/2016 01:17

Not going to read this thread as GF is a very emotive subject. But both my kids boy and girl were GF babies from day one and never had sleep issues, both content, happy, my now 8 year old has consistently been in the top 3 of his class and both kids are very affectionate and loving. It works, I think it's not so much my kid won't do that, I think it's the parents who can't do it, or think they can't. And that's ok. Every child/parent/family is different. You have to do what works for you:) lots of people will give you advice, take and leave what you think is best and build your own routine/system. My only advice is be consistent. If you are driving you baby in the car at night to sleep, don't complain when you still have to do that in a years time because baby won't sleep. Don't start habits thinking oh they will go away. They don't sadly:( start how you mean to carry on. Whether it's Ginas way, baby whisperer way or your way xx