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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is no way my baby will ever manage a Gina Ford routine?

313 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 20:38

Someone recommended the Gina Ford book to me. Read it through and just laughed! There is no chance my 9 week old DS would manage that routine!

I am wanting to get him a little more structure after Christmas but according to Gina Ford he should be sleeping through from 10:30-7am by now. DS goes no longer than 3 hours between feeds and only feeds for 5-10 mins at a time. Gina says I should be doing 20 minutes on one breast and then 10 minutes on another- how on earth is someone suppose to force a baby take this much?

Gina Ford has gone back on the bookshelf never to be read again. But if anyone has any sensible advice about how to promote longer sleeping at night, or a good day time routine then please share!

OP posts:
Chaphart77 · 31/12/2016 01:21

Oh and both of mine were breast fed for 6 months. I followed the expressing routine to increase my milk. I know slit of people say it works only on formula but it's nonsense. I know people that have done it with both. We in fact tried formula with them both to see if it made a difference. It didn't. X

Bettyspants · 31/12/2016 01:22

Chap love your comment. GF was not for me and my family. Bf on demand day and night every two hours for an hour for 5 months was not the newborn routine I had imagined but for us it felt right and both children are happy and content...you could take elements of her advice or just chuck it every baby and family had different needs . Try not to stress

HeadElf · 31/12/2016 01:29

My GF twins book was the worst present I ever got, the routines give you no time for important things like the school run, emotional breakdowns, having a wee, having a poo..

M0nkington · 31/12/2016 01:30

You will find what suits you and your baby OP. For the record my DS was a GF baby from around 4 wks, my sister, a GP suggested it. It worked great for me and I BF'ed until he was 1. It doesn't work for everybody but it is literally a life saver for some. I also read the Baby Whisperer which helped me to deal with becoming a mum!

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2016 01:32

Don't start habits thinking oh they will go away. They don't sadly Yes they do. DD was a horrible sleeper and was fed to sleep and rocked. She is now a fabulous sleeper who just has story, song, down. Vastly better than lots of her 'routine' friends. Who now don't go down well or sleep well at 6 or 7.

If it works for you, fine. But just because it works for you, doesn't make it good.

RedNoseRumble · 31/12/2016 01:37

After a couple of months of hell where ds projectile vomited due to reflux and had colic, he eventually settled with the combination of Gaviacon and GF routine.

As a first time Mum and with no help in the form of family & friends nearby, I needed some kind of control so I did take on the GF approach and it worked for me. I tweaked it here and there but eventually all was calm.

I have to also mention the GF potty training book, which I followed to the letter and within 3 days ds was in pants never to wear a nappy again. He was ready to potty train though, i didn't push him too early.

RedNoseRumble · 31/12/2016 01:38

Gaviscon!

Original poster
Aliveinwanderland · 31/12/2016 01:41

Thanks everyone. It's reassuring to know I'm not meant to be in a proper routine at this age.

Quick question- DS woke an hour ago which would have been 2.5 hours since last feed. I put his dummy in and put the white noise app back on rather than feeding him just to see what would happen- he went back to sleep for another hour! Now should I have fed him? Or am I ok to stall him for a bit? I'm still not very good at working out what his noises mean! He doesn't cry in the night often, just shouts and makes "ah ah" noises!

OP posts:
Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 31/12/2016 01:57

You'll get used to the noises. On my second and third I wait until I know they're very serious before I get up. They usually just yell out once or twice or grunt a bit then settle themselves. If they're heading towards crying I feed them.

Mine have been sleeping through since about 6 weeks, and I certainly didn't follow GF. I express BF so they get a big tummy full and they sleep longer. Same theory as to why formula helps them sleep longer -not what's in the bottle, just the amount. If they're sleepy on the breast they will fall asleep before they are full and just wake up earlier. That's my theory anyway. I didn't express with the first and I was up all the time. For years...

Your baby will develop their own nap routine with you doing exactly nothing. It's amazing to me these writers taking credit for natural human behaviour. More amazing to me that readers on here think their routines and plans had any effect at all. Gullible is the word. And GF is slightly richer.

LoupGarou · 31/12/2016 01:59

YANBU. We have always been very relaxed with DS, always coslept (and still do), carried him in wrap slings, let him choose when he wanted to sleep etc. He is only just past toddler age but is confident, outgoing and very relaxed, everyone is always commenting his he takes everything in his stride, nothing phases him.
He has been on a lot of long haul flights, been on four seater sea planes frequently, on five thousand kilometres road journeys plus a raft of other things and he has been amazing, not one single problem, tantrum or stress moment. I kept thinking our luck would run out every time, but so far it hasn't.
In was at those times when we were most grateful that he is so laid back routines, amd happy to kip anywhere with a travel pillow and blanket.
DH and I got a lot of stick at first about our lack of routines, but it has worked for us. Horses for courses and all that.

LoupGarou · 31/12/2016 02:02

Not sure if its relevant but DS was formula fed as I didn't have the option of breastfeeding.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 31/12/2016 02:04

And remember, sleep makes sleep. The advice to keep your baby awake is outdated. You could always try it and see, but I wouldn't. Just let them sleep. Their brains grow the most when the sleep too, so why would you wake them for no reason?

AnnaT45 · 31/12/2016 02:10

9 weeks is still so little OP. There is so much pressure on women these days to get their babies to sleep through, feed every fours, have three set naps etc. I don't understand it. Babies are just that. They are little, all different, all unpredictable and all need their mum/dad a lot! I think the issue with trying to follow a routine is if it doesn't work it can make you feel like a failure.

Re feeding at 9 weeks I'd still think every 3 hours is needed if you can. I know it seems so hard at the moment but it does get easier eventually and this stage is so short in the scheme of things. My advice is to relax, listen to your babies and enjoy the cuddles. They don't last forever

Iwasjustabouttosaythat · 31/12/2016 03:20

What Anna said. They really are so wonderful and gorgeous to hold close, sniff their darling little heads. It really won't last long. Don't you let GF steal this away from you by making you think you're doing anything wrong. It's all exactly as it should be for a very new breastfed baby.

M0nkington · 31/12/2016 05:22

Such dramatic crap on here. I breast fed my son, sniffed his hair etc etc while following GF to the letter. I was also very physically damaged by the birth (dual incontinence) so it suited me to stay home and stick to it rigidly. She isn't evil and people who do GF aren't cruel. Everyone gets through those first months the best they can.

GreenGinger2 · 31/12/2016 07:36

Ginaed all my 3 including twins, book was bloody amazing.

Pre Gina cranky,miserable,underweight babies and mummy.

After Gina happy,smiley,contented babies and mummy.

Loads of hair sniffing,cuddles etc. Massive amount of crap on here spouted by people who have never even tried it.Bizarre.
Can we wade into all methods of baby resting and weaning we haven't tried because I have a few I could lambast?Hmm

GreenGinger2 · 31/12/2016 07:36

Rearing

GreenGinger2 · 31/12/2016 07:40

Iwas the whole point of Gina Ford is to get more sleep.Confused

The waking (which you end up doing very little of) leads to oodles more sleep. The parents I knew whose babies slept very little we're those who had zero routine what so ever.

My DC slept through very early on thanks to Gina getting masses of sleep during the night and day. What on earth is this lack of sleep you talk of?

MissBeehiving · 31/12/2016 07:54

Are MNHQ on the gin? 😉

Despite having a FF baby, GF reduced me to hysterical sobbing after consistently failing to get DS1 into the "routine" prescribed.

I felt much better after burning the book though ☺️

Rosa · 31/12/2016 07:59

What Mn has proved reading this is that all babies are different and are not all going to take to GF . Listen to your baby go with your instinct read GF don't take it as a bible .. IN my case it was hogwash and I got mine and me into a routine that worked for us and our lives . I honestly found GF patronising and totally unpractical..it was binned and I could not bring my self to pass the crap on.

AnnaT45 · 31/12/2016 08:06

green I did try it. It didn't work. Count yourself lucky you had good sleepers. All babies and children are different, you make it sound like you're a great parent for following it and those that can't aren't.

Those with bad sleepers find it hard to have a routine because their babies don't sleep! No amount of what GF said worked for dd1 and I tried a lot of other things too. You could exercise a bit more understanding as I feel attitudes like yours contribute to making mum's feel like crap of their babies don't sleep through by a certain point

amispartacus · 31/12/2016 08:11

Does your baby work for Gina Ford or does Gina Ford work for your baby?

AnnaFiveTowns · 31/12/2016 08:24

I think that book is incredibly damaging for mothers of newborns. It made me feel crap about myself and my inability to train my week old baby. I actually ended up putting it on the fire as I couldn't bear to inflict it on another mother, via the charity shop.

GreenGinger2 · 31/12/2016 08:26

My babies were not good sleepers before Gina,they were after.

It may not be your cup of tea but it was ours and also many other families.

crusoe16 · 31/12/2016 08:27

GF pretty much tells you when to blink. I do know people who have used her book and had clockwork babies though.

I had 3. Two came early, had reflux and one of those also had CMPA. Neither of them were ever going to get into a routine coz they puked up most of their feeds. They were 9 and 7 months when they slept through.

My other baby didn't have reflux and slept through 7 - 7 at 11 weeks. I probably could have done GF with her but I didn't need to. And had thrown the book out of the window when I tried it with DS1 - trying GF with a refluxing baby is a surefire way to give yourself PND imo

I like Rachel Waddilove's book. Much gentler. It's written in a more suggestive than prescriptive manner.