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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is no way my baby will ever manage a Gina Ford routine?

313 replies

Aliveinwanderland · 30/12/2016 20:38

Someone recommended the Gina Ford book to me. Read it through and just laughed! There is no chance my 9 week old DS would manage that routine!

I am wanting to get him a little more structure after Christmas but according to Gina Ford he should be sleeping through from 10:30-7am by now. DS goes no longer than 3 hours between feeds and only feeds for 5-10 mins at a time. Gina says I should be doing 20 minutes on one breast and then 10 minutes on another- how on earth is someone suppose to force a baby take this much?

Gina Ford has gone back on the bookshelf never to be read again. But if anyone has any sensible advice about how to promote longer sleeping at night, or a good day time routine then please share!

OP posts:
CurlsandCurves · 30/12/2016 21:53

DS1 seemed to follow Ginas routine all by himself. But he needed more sleep than she said. I read her book about 3 mths in and DS was just doing the sleeping and the napping anyway. I didn't know how lucky I was!

DS2 was not so easy. And the Baby Whisperer worked for us.

CharleyDavidson · 30/12/2016 21:53

I laughed my socks off when I had DD1, nearl 16 years ago and someone recommended the GF books.

Read them. Instantly dismissed them as a) unrealistic and b) unachievable.

Gina may have looked after many, many babies as a nurse. But she hasn't had any of her own.

And I foresee that this thread will be pulled as GF has, in the past, demanded a public apology from Mumsnet about her treatment on the site.

TataEs · 30/12/2016 21:55

ds1 never fed for more than 5-7mins.
i could pump 5oz in 5mins. and a baby is meant to be more efficient so there's no way i could have fed him for 30mins. he fed every 3hours like clockwork.
ds2 fed more frequently but only 3-4 mins a time. he slept better.

WelliesAndPyjamas · 30/12/2016 21:55

Aliveinwonderland your baby sounds like my middle child was as a baby. Bottomless pit. Still is, approaching 8 years! He has the sharpest mind of all of us and can hike 18km in a day. I didn't use GF with him. In fact, didn't use any method, just enjoyed his babyhood, let him have what he needed, and he and I were perfectly happy. And he most definitely hasn't turned out spoilt or demanding as a result!

Each baby will have their little patterns and characteristics and as parents we have to adapt to them. Therefore, prescriptive methods (like GF) will not apply to everyone.

Salmotrutta · 30/12/2016 21:56

I must admit I didn't read any books.

Mind you, I'm an old gimmer with DC in their 30s so I did everything that's frowned on now.

One was FF and one BF but I did have "routines" in the day - up, dressed, fed, changed, nap etc and repeat ad infinitum through the day.

Oddly, both of mine were going from 10.30/11.00pm through to 6.00/6.30am by about 8 weeks.

I just did what seemed to work for mine and ignored books.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 30/12/2016 21:57

op the worst thing i did with DD was read a baby help book, not GF the opp but still.....best thing I did with DD2 2 was follow her lead and go with her flow and what she needed.

Philoslothy · 30/12/2016 21:58

In my experience of having six children, 9 week old babies don't need routines and longer sleep times. They need constant cuddles and lots of feeding.

amispartacus · 30/12/2016 22:00

And I foresee that this thread will be pulled as GF has, in the past, demanded a public apology from Mumsnet about her treatment on the site

Would that work now? Mumsnet apologises for the fact that many mums, on a very popular parenting forum, have said horrible things about Gina Ford's methods.

There is such a thing as bad publicity.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/12/2016 22:00

You can't have a bloody routine with a tiny baby. If you want an early night and the baby doesn't, then. Quite frankly tough shit. You're whistling Dixie.

TheMrsD · 30/12/2016 22:00

The only thing I recommend reading is the Radio Times as you snuggle your baby.

AppleMagic · 30/12/2016 22:01

OP all three of my babies were fast feeders because I have very fast let down - it can be "normal" to have very short feeds. My dd never fed longer than 10mins a go and pretty much only wanted feeding 3hourly from birth (my DSes fed a lot more often though). I pumped 8oz in 20mins each time when dc3 was a newborn in NICU so I'm fairly confident they were filling their tiny tummies in 10mins.

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/12/2016 22:02

Problem is @Philoslothy you can't fill bookstores and subsequently your pockets with, "feed lots, cuddle and keep both ends clean".

minifingerz · 30/12/2016 22:06

"but we still meet mums who have been told they must breastfeed at all costs"

Or at least that's how some people will report encouragement to breastfeed when they're feeling very conflicted about it.

Re: GF - I would have more time for her approach if it came with a disclaimer that 1. All babies and all mothers are unique, and her routines simply aren't manageable for some babies 2. That strict routine led feeding practices can damage breastfeeding and 3. That the 'breastfeeding counsellor' she works with on her books, Clare Byam Cook known in the industry as Clare Buy My Book often gives non-evidence based advice which runs counter to that given by the main training and accrediting bodies - ABM, NCT, La Leche League, IBLCE. This sometimes makes mums even more confused and conflicted than they already are.

Not so say nobody can follow the routines, but they're definitely not for everyone.

Lweji · 30/12/2016 22:06

Going back 10 years or so, Gina Ford was suing mumsnet and became SWMNBM

It affected other sites too. I was on another forum then and they'd also delete any posts mentioning said baby "guru".

Philoslothy · 30/12/2016 22:07

Problem is @Philoslothy you can't fill bookstores and subsequently your pockets with, "feed lots, cuddle and keep both ends clean".

True, I did use Gina Ford with one of mine, she was a bit of a routine baby naturally and so it worked as well as it could but I do look back and shudder at the times image her wait for feeds or naps. I was not a particularly happy mother with my first two and I do think that enforcing routines was a big part of that. With my younger children I just relaxed and listen to them and we were all so much happier,

I did also read the EASY book with one of mine and applied that general principle to all of them.

dietcokeandwine · 30/12/2016 22:09

Ok I did a version of GF with all three (BF) babies, minus the expressing malarkey. They slept more, and obviously fed more during growth spurts, but give or take a few tweaks here and there they all settled well into the overall routine.

But I wouldn't recommend following it slavishly. Then again, I wouldn't recommend following any parenting 'guru' slavishly. Go with whatever works for you, read books if you want but adapt them to your own lifestyle, your own baby, your own personality. Use them as a basic recipe and then tweak them as you wish.

And remember that we all react differently to parenting books/recommendations, depending on our own take on things. I read widely with DS1, from GF to middle ground to some attachment parenting stuff. And some of the AP writings made me absolutely rage. I remember quite literally tearing up Deborah Jackson's 'Three in a Bed' and chucking it into the recycling bin.

GimmeeMoore · 30/12/2016 22:12

Surprised thread still here,back in day it'd be deleted
It literally was lawyers at dawn and Mnhq requested ms ford not be discussed

A truly polarising book.devotees and detractors feverishly slugging it out

Ab1000 · 30/12/2016 22:12

Minifingerz I wasn't feeling conflicted about the constant breast feeding bullying I was depressed and my baby was starving. She needed to be fed and I needed a balanced approach not just told I should be able to bf and if I cdnt it was my fault.

minifingerz · 30/12/2016 22:13

Would add that I couldn't have followed her routines. I lived on planet baby in an oxytocin haze for months and months when mine were tiny. The whole idea of timing anything to do with my baby would have been bizarre.

Madshiplollipop · 30/12/2016 22:15

What AB1000 said. And, minifingerz, I wasn't conflicted about bf , I was desperate to bf and did all I could to keep going. I was very ill with an undiagnosed MS relapse triggered by a terrible infection resulting from terrible mw care which was missed by hvs. Without GF suggested approach, I dread to think what would have happened to us.

BalloonSlayer · 30/12/2016 22:15

I don't get the MN Gina Ford hate.

Ds1 was about 8 weeks old and I was going out of my mind feeding him what felt like all the time (asked HV how often i should feed him and she said "as often as he wants, dear" which,although kind, did not help)and him only sleeping on me until I had dd idea it was safe until I decided to do something of course then he woke up and bawled.
GF explained about most babies needing a 7am - 7pm routine and that they need proper naps.
I nevery did the "wake the baby at 10 30pm for the last feed" more than once (Kerrrrist!!!) But by genearly following hee rules

shivermytimbers · 30/12/2016 22:16

Gina Ford was fab for mine. Slept through from 10 weeks and is, indeed, very contented! Horses for courses though. I think it's probably best to go with what you and your baby are happy with.

bibbetybobbetybooo · 30/12/2016 22:17

Haven't read the whole thread, but I think OP, that just putting Gina Ford back on the shelf isn't enough! Destroy the thing. I know other people have differing views,but I think she's evil. Just BF your baby on demand, cuddle and enjoy! Xxxx

MyBonnieLiesOverTheOcean · 30/12/2016 22:17

My exclusively BF DC fell into the perfect Gina Ford routine at 7 days old and was pretty much bang on her schedules for eating and sleeping until he was about 2. It was fantastic.

Didn't work for DC2 though.

Whathappendexactly · 30/12/2016 22:17

Gina ford helped ruin my first marrige and my little girls early child hood. It appealed to my then husband who got angry when we could not achieve its goals. Ditch the book and use your instincts. You won't always be right but that's parenting and if you are not comparing yourself to anything you can't really be wrong. Good advice from some one who's sorry now I ever bought the book .