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Original poster

I've lost my mum

143 replies

Disinterested · 30/12/2016 19:13

My beautiful mum died yesterday. Totally unexpected. I am lost. I am 25 and have a partner of 7 years, he lost his dad when he was 18 but i dont think he understands how awful i feel. I cqnt imagine life without her and each breath i take is painful. Sorry if this is incoherent but my heart is broken. Please tell me it gets better.

OP posts:
Caboodle · 30/12/2016 20:48

Brag away. Your Mum sounds like she was wonderful xxx Flowers and lots of love x

Gingerbreadmam · 30/12/2016 20:52

she sounds like she had the qualities of a perfect mum. i hope her proudness brings you some comfort Flowers

CheeseCakeSunflowers · 30/12/2016 20:56

I am sorry to hear of your loss. When my dm died someone described the grief to me like this. Its like finding that a huge hole full of sadness has appeared by your front door. At first you fall into it every time you go out and you struggle to climb back up but slowly over time it gets better, the hole is still there but you learn to walk around it.
It's been four years for me now and although I still find myself wanting to share news with Mum I can also look back and remember the good times and smile at the memories now.
You will go through many different emotions but in time I think you will eventually be able to smile again.

HaylJay · 30/12/2016 20:57

So sorry to hear, the pain will ease but the memories and love will never leave you x

TheBadgersMadeMeDoIt · 30/12/2016 20:59

So very sorry. My heart goes out to you...you must be feeling so lost. What a horrible, horrible shock. I haven't got any wise words to take your pain away, but if I know anything about loss it is that the sting eases over time. Try not to look ahead...the future will seem an unfriendly place from where you are right now. Deal with one minute at a time and draw as much strength from your DP and other family/friends as you can. Sending love your way. Flowers

Original poster
Disinterested · 30/12/2016 21:02

These kind words from strangers have set me off, thank you all. God I want to talk about her though. I love her so much it hurts

OP posts:
imonaplane · 30/12/2016 21:05

I lost my mum 16 years ago, 7 months after my beloved dad died. My mum was my best friend and I thought I would never recover from losing her. I wouldn't say that I have got over her death but I have learnt to live with it. I still think of both of them every day. My children's milestones have been one of the hardest things to cope with - they were 5 and 3 when my mum died and have grown into wonderful people I know they would have been so proud of. My deepest sympathy to you. Flowers

ThePinkOcelot · 30/12/2016 21:07

Op I am so sorry. Talk about her sweet heart, we are listening.

I list my dad when I was 24. He had been poorly but wasn't expected to die. It's horrible but the pain does lessen. You never ever get over it, but you do learn to live with it xx

Roussette · 30/12/2016 21:10

Love to you Flowers You brag as much as you want about your lovely Mum.

lilyb84 · 30/12/2016 21:13

So sorry for your loss Flowers Keep talking to her, a part of her will always be with you as we keep the essence of our loved ones in our hearts. I still talk to my beloved nan who was like a mum to me, 18 years after she passed away. I can't imagine how you must feel right now but it will get better, in time. The important thing is to allow yourself that time and embrace your feelings.

MrsMozart · 30/12/2016 21:17

I'm so very sorry.

It does become bearable. It has to.

xxx

LavenderRains · 30/12/2016 21:23

Flowers talk about her as much as you like. Tell us all about her, she sounds amazing. I'm so very sorry x

averylongtimeago · 30/12/2016 21:25

I am so sorry. It does get easier, I promise. My wonderful mum passed away 17 years ago. You never forget, but the pain goes. Talk about her, remember the happy times, don't be afraid to laugh and cry.

MostIneptThatEverStepped · 30/12/2016 21:30

I'm so sorry sweetheart xxx
I don't think there are any words to make you feel better 😞

DrSausagedog · 30/12/2016 21:31

Oh you poor thing. Wish I could give you a hug.

I've 'only' lost my dad but he was my rock, I was a real Daddy's girl so it hit me hard, especially as it was sudden.

I remember the shock and raw grief that you must be feeling right now, wishing it could all be a bad dream. It's so bloody hard. But it's true that time is a healer, you always miss them of course, but it becomes less painful to think of them, and you remember more of the happy memories of them which make you smile.

Thinking of you.

ZeViteVitchofCwismas · 30/12/2016 21:36

Darling you poor poor thing, you are so young and its a shock like no other to loose your Mum Flowers mine died - also suddenly when I was 26 and I am still not over it now - a decade later. You never can be, you learn to live with it - to understand it - to understand other people have been through it.

There is a FB group for motherless daughters which is some small comfort, with people sharing their stories, its a small help to know there are sadly so many of us out there.

I found the pain came in waves, I went through all the stages of grief, I had practically no family support but an amazing BF who lavished me with love.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 30/12/2016 21:37

Oh I'm so heartily sorry. I lost my mum just over a year ago. I know exactly what you're going through.
I won't lie and say it gets easier. It just gets easier to handle, but
The longing never goes away. Its like a pain that you learn to live with.
Greif is the most toughest things anyone can ever go through, and you have just embarked on this heartbreaking journey.
((((((((((((())))))))))))))).

I hope see your beautiful mum in your dreams. Me and mine meet up quite often.
Love and thoughts, Sweetheart.
Flowers

MadisonAvenue · 30/12/2016 21:37

Your mum sounds like a really wonderful lady, my thoughts are with you. I'm so sorry Flowers

FurryDogMother · 30/12/2016 21:38

My Mum died suddenly 30 years ago, when I was 27 and she was 58. I still talk to her in my head, she'll always be with me - but the pain eased as the years passed. Don't push yourself to feel 'better' too soon, give yourself time, keep your family close and be gentle with each other. Don't be afraid to feel numb, the grief comes and goes, there is no right way to feel or to be - there is only your way, and you'll find it.

I am so sorry for your loss.

midsummabreak · 30/12/2016 21:42

Sorry for your loss of your wonderful Mum ooxx Take time out to spend with your loved ones and be kind to yourself as you grieve your horrible loss of such a great and wonderful Mum. Flowers Brew

Brieandgrapes · 30/12/2016 21:46

Im so sorry to read about your mum. Talk away about her, she sounds like a wonderful lady.

CatsMother66 · 30/12/2016 22:50

I'm sorry you've lost your mum, the pain is hard and unyielding. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself, make sure you eat and rest even if you don't feel like it. Your relationship with your mum was unique to you and your grief will be too, so no one will truly know how you feel. Everyone is different. I felt very much alone in my grief when I lost my dad 2 and a half years ago, even though I had siblings and my dh. I also found more comfort from those who had experience of losing a parent rather than friends who had not. Reading the experiences of others was also a help. Take very good care of yourself, we are all here if needed. Sometimes it's easier to ask a stranger than those close to you. x

DeriArms · 30/12/2016 22:54

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum when I was 25 too. I think of her every day but it does get easier. It gave me a lot of strength at the time to remember that my mum never wanted me to be flattened by grief and that she had raised me to be strong and live my life. Please, be kind to yourself.x

moreslackthanslick · 30/12/2016 23:01

I'm so sorry, my mum found out about terminal cancer and died two weeks later so that was fairly sudden but not like this.
It does get better eventually. I haven't RTFT but do contact Cruse if nobody has already mentioned it. I found them amazing to talk with about my feelings.

PamplemousseRouge · 30/12/2016 23:13

I am so so sorry to hear about your mum Flowers