Shopping with DS wheelchair…just sounding off as I am fed up today

[Livingtothefull]

1. I went to the supermarket in the big town near us last week with DS (16) who is in a wheelchair….went to look for a wheelchair trolley, found just one which was broken.

Waited at customer service desk while they checked if there was another one available. Waited for a long time….DS got agitated with the waiting (he has learning difficulties). Eventually they confirmed there was no other wheelchair trolley in the store, despite it being a large branch of a big, household-name supermarket.

Without a wheelchair trolley I can't do my shopping as I can't push a normal trolley or carry a basket and manoeuvre the wheelchair at the same time. So in the end they had to send a member of staff with me to assist me.

1. Went shopping again with DS today in another branch of the same supermarket. Again just one wheelchair trolley which was broken so same thing again.

I don't think it's too much to ask that I can just come to the supermarket, get a trolley and do my shopping like everyone else, without having to wait around for a solution because the one suitable trolley is missing or out of action.

DS likes travelling on the bus (there are limited things in life for him to enjoy but he does enjoy bus journeys) so I agreed to get the bus home with him. The bus turned up but the driver didn't open the side doors or drop the ramp down for us. So I went to speak to him while the other passengers were getting on:

Me: 'Could you let us on the bus at the side doors please?'
Driver: 'Sorry no there's no space for you'.
Me: 'There's lots of space, we need the wheelchair space.'
Driver: 'There's a buggy on board'.
Me: 'But that's a wheelchair space, wheelchairs have priority'.
Driver: 'No the buggy got on before you and she already paid for her ticket, and that's that.'

and drove off. He didn't even ask the people with the buggy to make space btw.

I had to wait for the next bus to come, this had a much larger buggy on board but the driver let me on and the mother with the buggy happily made space…no need for her to get off the bus.

What upsets me about this is: the odds are that most busy buses will have at least one buggy so if every bus driver took the same attitude as the first one, DS & I could easily be there all night. Also DS may have a meltdown if he is forced to wait to long and believe me his meltdowns aren't pretty (have posted previously about these).

I am having a rant and I know all this sounds really negative but please try to put yourselves in my shoes?

Rang away. That sounds horrific.

I'd contact supermarket via Twitter or something simply asking their policy on wheelchair trollies.
Then I'd look at if not having one available contradicts the equalities or disabilities act.

If it's Asda the customer service phone line is normally very good (family member works there) but yes defiantly complain.

YANBU. This is completely unacceptable. I am fuming on your behalf and really feel for you! I second the posters who have suggested writing to the supermarket head office and the bus company. They can work out who the driver was from the time and the route. Sounds like the driver needs some more training.

Things should not be this difficult for you. It's 2016 not 1816!

please complain about the bus driver! most parents with buggies would be horrified to know a wheelchair user had to wait for another bus because of them!

It is terrible. As someone uprhread rightly pointed out there should be a correlation between disabled spaces and wheelchair trolleys. I think a long and loud complaint directly to the cheif exec mentioning discrimination and pointing out their own policies would help.

Which supermarket was it? Let's just say that in our case it lived up to its name…..

While I disagree with doing it for somethings, (and it may out you) I would complain on both their facebook page and twitter. For both supermarket and bus company, especially as you have complained before

Rant away. It must be incredibly frustrating. And of course I agree about complaining but it must be draining just doing simple day to day activities without them being made all that much harder by barriers that don't have to be there and then having to use energy to complain about them.

It does sound like you have had a shit time of it

I have a relative who is a bus driver and he would have asked the buggy user to move over or fold up. I hope this doesn't happen regularly.

sobeyondthehills Great idea! They are bound to give you a quick response!

I only really shop in Asda but my local one has about 10 which the wheelchair attaches too and about 5 mobility scooters with a basket attached.

I though that would be the norm (although no experience) you would of thought they'd have to a policy on such items how many etc.

That is all outrageous OP, I would be livid too. God, I am so sorry you have to deal with this kind of crap.

yes, I'm told by the yout that twitter is very effective for complaining.
You shouldn't have to do this, but what about phoning your supermarket of choice before you set out, informing them of your likely arrival time and that you will be expecting them to make reasonable adjustments (is that the phrase) so that you can do your shopping WITHOUT having to wait around for 15 mins.
It may not be much comfort but things have definitely improved wrt access, I can remember a time when ramps etc were unheard of. And I'm only in my 50s. I'm sure this is down to the DDA. There's a long way to go of course.

YADNBU. I would contact the supermarket and if it sin't remedied go for twitter (let us know which one it is and a few of us could do a mini twitter storm). I would also complain to the bus company as their drivers should be trained and understand that a wheelchair takes priority (if the mother saw/heard what was going on I'm shocked she didn't offer to move the buggy).

for you OP. People are wankers and you need to make complaints especially re the bus driver! It really just isn't good enough.

I was a carer briefly for my nan before she died and I used to take her to the supermarket. She had mobility problems so needed a wheelchair. I learned that Disabled people really are invisible to others. If it wasn't unhelpful staff it was ignorant passers by. Barely a day went past where she didn't get someone's handbag smacking in her face and very seldom an apology. I actually became quite an angry person for a while, and even though I know my nan hated drawing attention, used to shout at people when they did this. I'd only ever get a dirty look, like "how dare that old person get in the way of my Michael Kors".

The only upside is she made it fun sometimes, especially when people would patronisingly SHOUT VERY SLOWLY IN HER FACE, "CAN I GET YOU ANYTHING ELSE LOVE?". She used to say "Why are you shouting at me? I'm in a wheelchair, not deaf. And it's 'Madam', not 'love'"

Yanbu OP, my Mum has mobility problems although not wheelchair bound atm and I have noticed recently just how reduced mobility unfriendly the UK is. It must be hell if you have a wheelchair.

Rant away. I think some people don't realise just how Hard things which are otherwise taken for granted are for disabled people.

My biggest rant at the moment is how inaccessible so many disabled toilets are - big heavy doors, wriggling needed to get in. I am not sure how disabled people who are out alone manage it.

And I was amazed at the trains when I was in London which didn't have a wheelchair space at all! Standing by the doors was the only way to travel.

I get the

"How Can I Help You?" Said reaaaaally slowly when people find out I'm deaf.

I usually reply with "I'm deaf not stupid". They shut up pretty quick

YY Sirzy I'm pleased to see that more and more disabled loos no longer have baby changing facilities in them though. Aside from a mother having no choice but to use the space when she doesn't need the loo, it means a disabled person doesn't have to put up with the stink of an overflowing bin of baby shit.

I'm up for a twitter storm. How shit all round for you both

that is dreadful. I have been shopping before when the wheelchair trolley was unavailable and customer services found a member of staff to push the trolley for me while we shopped and filled it. Maybe something you could suggest? As for the bus driver that is appalling. The driver needs re training or a disciplinary.
I work with families with members who have special needs and regularly write letters and support them in the bloody relentless and unnecessary battles they have to fight in order to access things that most of us can without question.

Such a lot of stress for you every time you venture out OP.
Sorry you have to put up with this daily x

That sounds utterly shit, OP. I'm sorry. Wheelchairs should take priority on buses. I would make a complain to the bus company about that. It should never have happened and the driver was wrong.

You're right, no one else would put up with a 15-20 minute wait for a solution to doing their shopping. Why should you be any different, or be treated any differently?

"I'm deaf not stupid"

That brings back lovely(ish) memories of my grandad

Probably different in the US because they have the power of the lawsuit.

I wish this sort of shit wasn't still happening. All it takes is for a company to think about what it would be like to be disabled using their services.