Guests arriving full & late

[Dottie39]

AIBU here?
Invite guests a couple of weeks in advance for specified time, say I will be doing food - small buffet, nothing elaborate.
Guests call an hour before due to say will be a few hours late - they are in area so decided to drop in on another family member!! Arrive three hours late having had a huge meal. Eat nothing, completely drink the wine they bought for me and leave after a couple of hours.

V rude indeed!

Extremely rude YANBU.

I wouldn't have let them in.

I'd have written them off after an hour and be watching a movie in my pyjamas.

Disgustingly rude. You are definitely NBU.

I presume they won't be getting another invite from you in the future ..?

The same thing happened to us last Christmas! I basically force fed them as didn't want to waste the food.

No they won't. They have form for being 'fluid' with time but this upset me as I had made an effort. They said they didn't realise I would go to such trouble, even though I had told them I would!!

Don't invite them again.

'Guests call an hour before due to say will be a few hours late - they are in area so decided to drop in on another family member!! '

I'd have said, 'What a pity! Well, we have other plans later on, so I guess we'll reschedule for another time. See you later.'

how rude of them op. dont invite them again

OP "small buffet, nothing elaborate." Vs "They said they didn't realise I would go to such trouble, even though I had told them I would!!"

Sounds like a miscommunication! They were expecting low key nibbles at your house so thought nothing of a large meal beforehand. Maybe communicate better next time : "nothing elaborate" sounds like crisps and sausage rolls.

Very rude. Are they close friends?

Late is very rude
If they thought small buffet meant crudités....but I think small buffet is clear.

If they have form for being late, ditch them anyway.

Could be a misunderstanding. It would be hard to tell from "small buffet" whether thst was bowls of crisps or something closer to a meal.

No room for buffet but room to drink your wine?

No way would they be invited back.

I also think some miscommunication here, small buffet nothing elaborate and telling them you're going to a lot of trouble are two very very different things. They probably just didn't realise and the people they popped into on the way rustled up a meal, hard to decline when you've already told them you aren't really doing anything and they thought they weren't getting dinner.

I also don't understand why they drunk their own wine, did you not offer them anything to drink? Why were they drinking what they brought?

Yes, v.rude. YANBU. I would have told them not to worry about coming as you would be eating at the time you had arranged. If they arrived anyway, I would have taken the wine away and hid it. All these things and more that I only think of after the fact.

I agree that were U. Few years ago I had a small birthday party and made it clear there was food, went out and spent a fortune on it and everyone arrived full! Tbf they weren't also late but really pissed me off and still does!

Very unreasonable of them. Buffet means food - more than snacks. Their lateness was also rude. And as for drinking your wine! Next time, OP, don't bother!

I would also have told them to re-schedule. A few hours late? That is ridiculously rude and I'd be totally pissed off.

Very, very rude

DPiL used to be terrible for arriving hours late and/or having eaten beforehand. Once managed to arrive 4 hours late because some random had turned up and they lost track of time while chatting.

Very bad manners, considering you have gone to the trouble of buying and cooking food for them and were probably starving by the time they decided to arrive. Won't even go into the wine, definitely would be off my guest list.

It wouldn't be the food that was particulalry annoying for me, but the fact that they were so late! I would have been very upset about this, so no yanbu at all.

Very rude and quite nasty frankly.
It doesn't matter if they didn't expect a fancy buffet, they should have turn up on time anyway. No misunderstanding here.

I would never invite these people over again.

I agree with Hellbelle, its the fact that they effectively decided they'd prefer to prioritise some other people and make you wait hours - that is pretty rude. I'd be polite, but they wouldn't be invited again!

Oh my sister used to do this - invited to dinner(lunch) at mums with the family and would turn up late, having had a meal/late breakfast at Morrisons cafe.

One reason she and I are NC.

I'm sorry but a small buffet, nothing elaborate, to me means snacks, it doesn't mean a meal. In addition. They called ahead an hour before hand to change the plans. Lastly I suspect if they were drinking their own wine it's because they weren't offered any but their own.

Guests bring me wine, but they don't drink their own right off, because I provide wine for them when they visit, I don't have a situation where the only bottle I open is the one they brought.🙄