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Original poster

Why do older American women disfigure their faces?

165 replies

notsmelliesagain · 28/12/2016 18:35

I watched the first episode of Real Marigold Hotel on Tour - Florida today.
It was excellent.
But, wtaf have those American women done to their faces? and how can they possibly think they look good, or younger? Do they have different mirrors to the rest of us?
How can their surgeons possibly think they've done a good job?
Miriam and Clarissa actually looked younger and more attractive in comparison.

44.20 onwards.

OP posts:
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5
Ferventfeminista · 29/12/2016 13:40

The honest answer to the thread title is (IMO) because bullshit societal norms revere young women and dismiss older women. They are trying to reclaim some erotic capital, mostly unsuccessfully.

brasty · 29/12/2016 13:48

Because older women are despised.

Gatekeeper · 29/12/2016 13:54

I think Sharon Osbourne looks odd esp in the photos above...her jaw and mouth looks collapsed at time- like people do when they take their false teeth out

YourFace · 29/12/2016 13:58

I imagine if you live in a community like that one, the pressure or at least the normalisation of it would get the better of you. So depressing to see all the men look aged and the women looking so bizarre. I liked the first community the best. The well off one looked like a hell hole, plus the houses looked shit inside.

BlurryFace · 29/12/2016 17:12

It's fucking bizarre, actors going for it and ending up less able to act facially. It makes it a lot harder to buy them in roles where their character isn't supposed to be rich enough to piss money away on surgery.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 29/12/2016 18:04

It's not all about the pressure on women to look young

Some people are incredibly vain and self absorbed the desire to still be attractive like they may have been when they were younger and can not accept that they aren't anymore as they themselves have place so importance in their looks

And why are some people not told how ridiculous they are starting to look Barry Manilow and Donatella Versace are just two examples of extreme plastic surgery

flipflap75 · 29/12/2016 19:15

I hated the popular look in the posh 'Polo Club' shown on the show last night.

I had a dabble with Botox this year (crow's feet, age 42) and although I looked slightly less wrinkly with a relaxed faced, I looked dreadful when I smiled. Loads of new lines bagged up under my eyes instead. So glad when it wore off. Never again.

flipflap75 · 29/12/2016 19:16

Btw, go MM for standing up to the interrupting guy on the show, but why did she put on an American accent to do it?!

kilmuir · 29/12/2016 22:22

Yes , he was horrendous.
MM probably only person there who still had some movement in her face so could speak out!

whatwouldblairdo · 29/12/2016 23:40

This reply has been deleted

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Shockers · 30/12/2016 06:23

I don't think older women are despised.

I think they become invisible, which must be difficult for those who've been adored mostly for the way they look.

MistressMaisie · 30/12/2016 06:41

It's not necessarily wanting to look younger than you are - it is not wanting to look tired /grumpy/ angry / depressed/ sad etc.

Having lots of downward lines and flesh on your face makes you look unhappy and sad. A couple of permanent frown lines do not make you look cheery and chatable to.

MistressMaisie · 30/12/2016 06:44

I don't think older women are despised, more ignored. But I would say that most old men are ignored. You won't be if you are a CEO in a pinstriped suit but Jo Bloggs the retired builder, probably ignored unless someone wants some cheap building work.

surferjet · 30/12/2016 07:01

Agree. ALL old people are ignored. Women feel it more though because we get more attention from the opposite sex, I mean, even if you're not that great looking you get male attention when you're young. So MM is right, we miss being 'fancied'.

Nataleejah · 30/12/2016 07:02

Lots of famous women got famous mainly for their looks. They may be very talented too, but that will mean zilch once the looks fade

Kennington · 30/12/2016 07:08

The issue with Botox is you cannot do it all over so your forehead looks great on its own but it won't match the bottom half of your face. This looks very obvious.
Filler is just a nightmare and shouldn't be used at all.

Floisme · 30/12/2016 08:34

The thing about not wanting to look cross is becoming quite mainstream and it troubles me for reasons I cannot quite articulate. Is a woman looking cross really such a terrible thing?

BakeOffBiscuits · 30/12/2016 08:51

The reasoning "well if everyone in your social circle is doing it, you feel pressure" is pathetic!

You'd think grown women would have moved away from peer pressure. It reminds me of teenagers saying "well everyone else is doing it so I joined in"Hmm

MistressMaisie · 30/12/2016 09:11

A woman needs to be able to look cross (so won't when they've been botoxed) but surely no one wants to be cross all the time.
I did hear on a radio prog that you are less able to empathise with people's problems as you can't adopt the accepted facial expressions for eg shared sorrow
On the other hand botox doc said your mood improves if you have less cross looking face as you respond to what you see in the mirror. Have to say I think I'd agree with that.

Liiinoo · 30/12/2016 09:44

Scarlett from Gogglebox recently said that she loves 'the fake look' (or words to that effect) and I think that is what the Florida/Kensington women are buying into as well. Their facial work isn't intended to make them look young or natural, but glossy and 'perfect', it is a visual identification with their (monied) tribe. Just like the Essex girls with visible extensions, orange fake tans and Sharpie eyebrows - they aren't expecting people to believe they have natural flowing locks and heavy brows, they are effectively wearing a uniform that signals who they identify with and will also attract the sort of man they want to meet.

I am currently trying some facial interventions with the aim of making me look brighter and fresher. I want people to notice I look really well but not realise I have had 'work' done, but I think that is quite an old fashioned attitude these days.

MrsJayy · 30/12/2016 10:06

Dd2 showed me a few girls that were in her year at school with inflated lips they are 19 with puffed up lips they look ridiculous imo just why,

Middleoftheroad · 30/12/2016 10:12

I don't like it either, but it's not black and white.

My mother, now 70, gets depressed about her face. It's all very well a 40 something (me) telling her not to be so shallow that life is about more than looks, when sagging skin is ebbing away at her confidence. I think only tge 70 odd year old knows what this is truly like - our 'younger' comments are easy for us to say.

Floisme · 30/12/2016 10:44

I have never in my whole life heard a man say he was worried about looking cross.

Frown lines used to be just part of life and no-one gave them a second thought until very recently. I was watching 'Some Like it Hot' again the other night and Marilyn Monroe had the beginnings of them - never heard anyone say she looked grumpy.

Zaya00 · 30/12/2016 11:04

Kensington has been brought up several times on this thread, but I think the tendency to dabble with Botox is no more noticeable here than in other areas of London and definitely moving outwards through places like Richmond and into Surrey etc.

Although I know many people who have had Botox, fillers, etc, I can't think of anyone who, in my view, has gone too far...yet. But we're all in our late 30s / early 40s atm. Will we be freak faces in another 10 years? Obviously I'd like to think not, but I suspect my idea of "normal" may already be a bit skewed anyway by the fact we've lived in Kensington for 15 years. If I'm absolutely honest, I only realise this when we go out Into other parts of the country because I can definitely see the absence of Botox where it hasn't happened! So I totally accept that this perception can work the other way too and that what we perceive as normal is a relative thing. Places like LA are just further along the curve.

Floisme · 30/12/2016 11:17

Middle I'm closer to your mum's age (60) and I freely admit that I'm vain so I do struggle with it. But if there's one thing that depresses me more than my face, it's the attitude that the highest compliment you can pay a woman over 50 is to tell her she doesn't look her age.

I think having work done is pointless anyway because as soon as you fix one symptom, another 3 will take its place. But it's also my own small way of way of giving ageism the finger.