To be so precious about my DD's naps?

[Silversun83]

I have a very active, non-stop seven-month-old. She is very interested in anything and everything (mainly the things she's not allowed ). I think partly due to this, she's not one of those babies who can just nap anywhere. She's also quite a light sleeper and after the last time of trying to get her to nap at a friend's house (I think she was just over three months old), I started putting her in her cot for most daytime sleeps and just sort of built my day around when she was sleeping. And when she's not going through a development leap and trying to climb, crawl, whatever, in her cot, she naps there pretty well. She does also sleep in the car but doesn't seem to sleep as well as in the cot; she still always seems tired!

Anyway, over the past four days, there have been events with DH's family on three of them. Due to DD's napping pattern however, we have only been at them for 1.5-2 hours.. And now it seems as though his parents hate me for us leaving early (twice for her bedtime and once for a nap). I have had so many cold shoulders and judgement from PILs and his grandparents, all for prioritising my DD's sleep?! She has just started crawling, is teething and has recently dropped her third nap so is extra-tired at the moment. Comments have included:

From grandmother: I always used to put my children to bed at 6.30pm too but if we were out, they would just stay up!

From grandfather: Ah, leave her be! She's happy! (Yes, she is a very happy baby and that is because SHE NAPS. I know she's getting tired, why would I want her to get so tired that she's UNhappy??)

From FIL: You're leaving already? Can't you put her to sleep upstairs? (Where, exactly? Your spare room which could be a good place for your grandchildren to sleep has been transformed into an office for your kidult other son who no longer lives there to work his 'home-based' job from).

And just general snipey remarks from MIL and overt-attention to BIL's children who fit in around what their parents are doing. Which is fair enough, but that's not the way I parent.

His parents by the way live very close-by and we always try and make the effort to see them once a week.

Yes, DD is my PFB and I have struggled a bit with parenthood. I admit I do get anxious about her sleep and worry about her getting overtired etc. But I'm just doing my best And she's thriving and such a happy baby 95% of the time so surely I'm doing something right? I admit I'm a bit pre-menstrual but his family's reactions have upset me!

Thanks.. Until now I had been fairly confident (and the PIL had had no problems with her naps before which is is why I hadn't even thought about trying to work anything else out! MIL had even said to me before that it was good that she was napping longer in her cot! Before she'd only really had catnaps. And they had all experienced her light-sleeping before when she was woken up as soon as someone spoke at theirs!) I think it was just the cumulative comments over the past few days plus MIL's outward favouritism to her other two grandchildren who get dragged along to everything even if not in their best interests. The youngest definitely seems to be able to sleep anywhere (as PPs have said, the last time my DD just 'fell asleep' on her eg play mat, I think she was about two weeks old!), but the oldest definitely didn't and was a nightmare baby/toddler as a result.. Not really surprising when she was being kept up until 10pm!

YANBU. You are doing what you think is best and it is rude of them to comment.
I am sorry but your baby your rules. I suffer from anxiety and already worried about this actually.

I can see my in laws being like this.

Well I will have to learn to be assertive because even without the baby here yet I need time out moments frequently and cant stay in a place for to long.

It is my life and trying to cope with anxiety is not easy...

And I will like to add that my anxiety was out of control as a child when I didn't sleep properly and the same as an adult. Lack / change in sleep patterns does awful things to my mind and body and this is the first thing I had to address under doctor's advice.
So I will be working hard on this with bubba.
My dad had the same issue and ended up with a quarter on his brain in necrosis. He is no longer with us.
Sleep is really important and a lot more to people with chemical brain balances like me.
So precious or no precious I take care of myself

*Imbalances

YANBU. With my first child we were laid back for the first four months and generally she'd fit in and make up sleep another time. I must admit to feeling slightly smug - who needs strict routines? Then 4 month sleep regression hit us bad - barely any naps, waking every hour. Routine was the thing that saved us. Unfortunately she would only sleep in pitch black in her own room but once we sorted naps her night time sleep improved hugely. Now at 2.3 years she is a little bit more flexible but if she misses an afternoon sleep for 2 days in a row she is very cranky. If she gets her regular naps and good 12 hours at night she is delightful (most of the time).

I am a terrible sleeper. I always was according to my parents. Maybe that was how I would have always turned out. However, I do think good sleep habits are acquired in childhood and I really would like my children to be better sleepers than me because it impacts negatively on my mental health at times (years of shift work haven't helped).

Evergreen and Moonrise: I also find that poor sleep affects my mental wellbeing (I think partly why I struggled especially with the first few months!). And was also a terrible sleeper as a baby (my parents used to take me out in the car to sleep but I used to wake up as soon as we stopped at traffic lights!). I used to really struggle to sleep as a child. I'm an okay sleeper now but I do often find it hard to switch off and it does seem as though DD is similar. So I want to try hard to instill good sleep habits and find something that works for her. I don't think my parents probably persevered enough, apparently I stopped napping at the age of one!

Stick to your guns - it will pay off in the long run.